Elliot

||MINOR!! (So don't be creepy)|| Hi, I'm Elliot! I use he/they/it pronouns. I have absolutely nothing to say here. Have a good day!

[depsidase]

[valtsv]

my favourite response to any kind of conflict is "i'll kill us both" because how do you even respond to that? i'll literally kill us both

[c3po]

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

[effemimaniac]

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

[vespertineflora]

so in an among us game the other night, a player in chat said “does anyone want to get married?”

and bc i was in it for shits and giggles, i said “yes”

he asked where we should get married and i told him we’d meet in comms, which was right at the end of that round. we started the next game, ran to comms together and danced around each other for a minute, which constituted our marriage ceremony. he then proceeded to just run around with me as we did tasks, which amused me to no end, and in out first body report meeting, he exclaimed, “I’M A MARRIED MAN.”

and then, inevitably, an impostor ran right up to us and murdered me. my new video game husband immediately reported my body.

everyone voted blue immediately, successfully avenging me

and then. the twist. my husband got caught murdering.

[insaneostyle]

Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

[countess-of-edessa]

once tried desperately to make my friend understand that yolks were not, like, a liquified potentiality of chicken, and she looked at me for a while and then said, "but they’re both yellow."

[woolandflax]

Behold

A chicken

[jaerjar]

Behold

A Man

[toaster-os]

@arewebeholdingaman

[arewebeholdingaman]

that's not a man that's a yolk

[valtsv]

you will never get true fashion inspiration from pinterest or tiktok. the most inspired you'll ever be to dress a certain way is when you spot a stranger on public transport in what is objectively the coolest most stylish outfit ever worn by a human being. you will never see them again but that look will haunt your dreams.

[depsidase]

[fearthefuzzybear]

oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

[alex51324]

I love how certain I am that I’m not the only person who stopped scrolling to let the snail finish crossing the dash.  

In fact, I would bet small sums of money that the majority of Tumblr folk do.    

[teatops]

Rb for the lil hops it does at the end before it finishes crossing 🥺💓

[flowerbleedme]

I can't do this I'm going to (remembers suicide jokes have negative consequences on mental health) make a post that does the thing where a suicide joke is interrupted and replaced with something wacky and unexpected . And subvert the punchline in an avant-garde self-aware meta manner to reflect my curious and intellectual soul

[kaijuno]

This is what me and my boyfriend have started doing... We are keeping a "Blessing bag" in our car in case we find someone in need. You can make these up with items from the Dollar Tree such as gloves, thermal socks, beef sticks, crackers, candy bars, toothpaste, toothbrush, wipes, deodorant, snacks and other items that may help someone who is homeless or in a bad way. It is just a thoughtful, inspiring thing to do. Random acts of kindness take very little to change the life of just one person.

[demi-demon]

fuck it. hitting the post ABOVE with a car battery. gravity can't save you now

[fagdykeposting]

Hello tumblr user. In front of you is a person talking about their own experiences with oppression and bigotry. Your goal? Don’t say “but what about x people.” Don’t make it about you.

[sea-buns]

In the live they said a group of Creakings could be called a "Crunch" and by god have they cooked with this update I'm so delighted

[19ratzinatrenchcoat]

am i having a stroke, what does this mean?/gq

[im-on-crack-send-help]

lol the doctor told me my iron is 3 and its supposed to be near 20 or smth

[jeahreading]

3????

HELLO???

HELLO MISS ANAEMIC????

HOW ARE YOU EVEN STANDING?????

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE 12 - 13???????

HELLO??????

[im-on-crack-send-help]

:D

maybe thats why i keep fainting lol

[fangirlghost-19]

ARE YOU A-OKAY GIRLY??

[im-on-crack-send-help]

TOTALLY IM USED TO IT

[fangirlghost-19]

Please raise your iron level ml

[sushi1056]

eat a stapler

[the-real-gmail]

I'm sorry but I keep on reading miss anaemic as miss America and it confuses the shit out of me every time

[someones-here-for-sure]

this is actually my favorite one of these I’ve seen so far

[19ratzinatrenchcoat]

Real boys dont eat CAUSE THEYRE ABOVE THAT, DAMNIT

[19ratzinatrenchcoat]

I used to read percy jackson fics a lot, and there was a certain kind i was obsessed with. It was the chaos army fics. And i really wanna start reading them again, but sadly, no one does it better than wattpad, and i dont wanna go back there