Kaffa

Something is wrong here ~{READ PINNED}~ 20yrs (he/they/neos)

[1oose-grasp]

Info Pin

This is kind of like a journal account to keep track of what’s going on in my head.

Basically, I have no idea what’s going on but putting my ideas down will be better than nothing.

I welcome people to relate and share their experiences in the notes :D

General Info

I change my name often so just call me by whatever is below the pfp at the moment.

I typically use (they/them) pronouns but theyll be added to the bio if they’re different.

I will take advice and suggestions in the notes if anyone has them. Just don’t be super invasive.

Before You Follow

I will be talking about derealization, dissociation, self harm, suicide, eating disorders, rape, pedophilia, fake claiming, discourse, obsessions, drugs, mental hospitals, therapy, psychiatry, mental illness, and many more.

I won’t step around topics and if I do, there’ll be super uncomfortable.

I will express my interests on here too so it won’t be all gloom. Im obsessed with certain animes so they will be on here time to time.

Boundaries

I don’t mind people giving me advice and suggestions. I don’t mind people relating or sharing their experiences. I’d like to relate to people if I can. Do not go diagnosing me with anything based on my posts.

Don’t invalidate experiences and be an ass. We all got issues and if this account bugs you, just block it and move on.

Tags:

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Love having dreams of ultimate demise fresh in morning

Cause what do you mean I got shot in my dream and now I’m shaking

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When I can’t find the words and I just start making sounds and yelling noises

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I fear I’m unlovable

I want to be loved so bad but i fear there’s no one in the world who can love me for me

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I want to say I’m autistic but I also don’t like claiming something that’s only suspected by medical professionals

So I’ll just suffer until I get a psychiatrist

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Shitty convention

Wish I could rewind time and never go

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I want to hook up just to get it over with but I’m also scared of people

I’m just horny sometimes idk

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I don’t get it. You’re complaining that I’m not backing off when I am. I told you to tell me when to back off more and you havent. Yet you’re complaining that I’m not.

How am I supposed to know where the line is if you don’t draw it?

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Whatever I’m horny posting on this account

I don’t care

It’s my diary for screaming into the void

Sometimes I think that getting railed would do me some good

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I wanna be slutty in a maid dress

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I’m actually socially inept

I have to study social behavior like it’s a fucking novella.

Everyone is like “why do we need tone tags?” ME

for people like me who can’t read

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Maybe I need to cancel out of life

Maybe my grievances are too much for him

March has been a rough month and maybe he’s just tired of all the negatives

I let him know that if it was too much he can tell me to stfu but maybe he hasn’t cause he’s nervous

He’s also getting more online friends. He’s just better at socializing than I am. I can barely socialize with my coworkers and he got mad at me for suggesting a job for him because he wants a job

I really don’t get it

I’m super lost as far as any of this go. Maybe I need more friends or maybe something is genuinely off. Who knows.

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I think my friend is gonna go back to his old friend and leave me behind

I don’t think it’s right for him but it’s not my circus

He knows how bad they can be but I guess it was nice being close to someone again while it lasted

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Do I need to dress cooler to make friends

Do I need to act cooler

Do I need to talk cooler

I’m a nerd with anxiety and depression and getting an autism test. I can’t do half these things

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How do you get more friends

I interact with people and I’m usually too awkward or those people don’t share my interests and then we don’t get along

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Literally contemplating sleeping in the airport and catching a bus to the service just so i can avoid everyone

I don’t want to be near anyone

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I wish I could admit I don’t remember

Feels like looking through some mist when I try to point out something

I feel like I’m looking at snapshots of vague moments that I have to piece together