Nevermore, probs

Jamie, 20's, he/him, cis, gay. On a break from student-ing, learning how to boyfriend, and trimming expectation bc it gets me in trouble. A giant mess, formerly hot. Sometimes I write stuff.

[goodgaytiktoks]

[goodgaytiktoks]

[itskyalenotkyletoo]

[itskyalenotkyle]

Lmaoo

[quietstorm-thundathighs]

It's disrespectful

[smirnoffpasta]

This is SPECTACULARLY done

[cinematv]

[thoodleoo]

“why are you like that” well i picked up that big book of illustrated greek myths as a kid and i’ve been this way ever since

[coffeeeenjoyer-deactivated20221]

he really went (｡ŏ_ŏ)

[ascended-fanboy-yuuri]

#ah yes the epic tale of Wei Wuxian and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Loved #i mean yeah he’s grappling with the mortifying ordeal of being known also. but that’s mostly in re the missing core thing #but being loved? by THIS guy?? mister virtue? listen wwx’s self worth issues can be seen from outer space #what the fuck is he supposed to do when confronted by this level of earnest devotion from someone whose attention #he no longer believes himself to deserve? (@howdydowdy)

[2020inhumanform]

Rules: Answer questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better. Thanks for the tag, @massivegothdreamerpanda !

Name: Jeremy/Jamie

Pronouns: He/him

Star Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 5'10 

Time Currently: 3:56 a.m.

Birthday: December 10th

Favorite Bands/Groups: One Direction, Panic! At the Disco, Semisonic, Den-Mate, Plain White T's, Cherry Glazerr, idk my tastes change a lot. 

Favorite Solo Artists: Jesus. Uh… Taylor Swift (don't @ me), Harry Styles (seriously, don't @ me), Hozier, Billie Eilish, Adele, Bruno Mars, Ariana Grande, Frank Ocean, Angel Olsen, Madonna, SO many others, jfc. 

Song stuck in your head: lmaooo!  Boys, by Charli XCX, no joke. (Also add her to the fave solo artists list.)

Last movie you watched: Legally Blond, this afternoon w my partner, but it was w zoning-out pick bc we were both tired, so imma add Three Days of the Condor, bc I saw it for the first time recently and was fucking blown away. 

Last show you binged: The Untamed. Taking my previously-referenced partner through it and he loves (obviously). We've been doing 1-3 a day. We're on Episode 38. 😎

When you created your blog: A few weeks ago lolol. But I had one for a couple of years that I deleted for safety reasons last April, and it's fucking staggering how different it feels after spending so much time on twitter for the last few months. Plus I think social media has changed a lot with the pandemic. A lot of my friends and old followers are almost exclusively on Insta or Snap now, which are apps I'm just never gonna be into. 

Last thing you googled: Fuck. Um. I'm gonna skip this one. (But it was for science, promise.)

Why I chose my URL: Just my morbid sense of humor. I'm still having some trouble looking in the mirror and joking helps me feel brave I guess.

Do you get asks: Not like I used to, or like I did when I attempted having a curiouscat blog. The ones I do get are from my friends, and they're ones my friends know for sure I'm not going to answer lolol. 

How many people are you following: 94 rn.

How many followers do you have: Just 42 so far. 

Average hours of sleep: Around six. I can't sleep too long bc I'm prone to bgl drops and waking up with one sucks. I take a midday nap to compensate if I can. 

Instruments: None really. I played the flute for two years in middle school (*insert obvious gay joke here*) and can tap out a couple of pieces on the piano, but don't play either instrument well. 

Currently wearing: Black sweats, a gray T-Shirt, and an ankle boot (they took off my cast early, yay!!!).

Dream Job: Novelist. 

Dream Trip: Exploring the UK, or a Mediterranean cruise. 

Favorite food: Damn, idk. All of them? I'm big into Mexican food bc I can adapt so many recipes for my diet--and bc I'm from California, probably. But I had a chicken pho soup today I almost cried over, it was so good. (Did I mention? I also got my wires removed early! I've got bands now. They still suck and I can't yet really eat the kinds of solids you have to chew but OH MY GOD the improvement! And I can really kiss Gabe now!!!! ...well, kiss him better. lolol)

Top three fictional universes you'd like to live in: Is it fucked up if I say Harry Potter? (😩 Predicated on the Death of the Author ofc.) And maybe More's Utopia, or Narnia. Oh, can I live in The Untamed universe? Because there, frfr.

Consider yourself tagged if you want to do this! 

[regularlesbian]

[regularlesbian]

this is like scrooge seeing his own grave in a christmas carol

[sage-hendricks]

Love reblogging a picture of Tumblr’s grave on Tumblr

[capitalism-is-a-disease]

[doctorwhomens]

[pocketkris]

finally

[p0tato-kn1shes]

[queer-lemons]

Tumblr is like if someone was buried alive in their grave but they didn’t bother to try to dig out but instead just shit all over the inside of the coffin and laid there until their oxygen ran out.

[oakenroots]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you CAN and SHOULD terminate a doctor patient relationship at any time if you are dissatisfied with their service or uncomfortable in anyway.

I stopped seeing an allergist who said “Get rid of the cats and put that dog outside” as response to a description of my allergies, without ever giving me an allergy test.

(My next allergist actually did his due diligence and discovered that half the reason I couldn’t breathe was because I had allergic scar tissue in my sinuses).

I stopped seeing a gastroenterologist when he didn’t make an effort to learn my name, familiarize himself with the treatments I had tried that did not work, or read the list of known medicine allergies attached to my chart.

(He asked me when my last colonoscopy was LESS THAN 48HRS AFTER HE PERFORMED IT and re-prescribed me a medication that had hospitalized me)

I stopped seeing a certain psychologist because, despite my complaints about the damage that it was doing to my stomach lining, he wasn’t willing to switch my meds in favor of something less destructive.

(My next psychiatrist agreed to see me WEEKLY while she weaned me off the meds he had put me on, and spent months checking in with me and tweaking my medications until we found a medication that helped my depression sufficiently without killing my stomach.)

Don’t pay to see doctors who refuse to run tests!

Don’t pay to see doctors whose bedside manner makes you uncomfortable.

Don’t pay to see doctors who ignore your complaints about medications.

Don’t pay to see bad doctors!

[maggieblueberry]

man sometimes i forget that some people aren’t even a little bit queer.

[funny-tik-toks]

[cool-beans-central]

Trying to keep up with this made me feel like English wasn’t my native language

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

English isn’t my native language and this felt like I was having a stroke

[cherryysundae]

making gifs is a whole experience because you notice EVERYTHING and right now im having a crisis over wei wuxian smiling once he notices lan wangji is smirking 

wwx is like “did he just move away from me 😔🥺" and then he notices lwj smirking im literally so sick

[2020inhumanform]

Things I can't do with my jaw wired:

Eat solid foods.

Brush the inside of my teeth (or tongue).

Talk with any sort of clarity.

Forget to take these stupid wire shears anywhere in case I feel the sudden need to throw up (looking more like every day I have to force down baby food or broth or smoothies or mrps).

Eat solid foods.

Not resent anyone who gets to eat solid foods.

Kiss my partner properly.

Have sex with him the way I want.

Kiss my partner properly.

Have lots of sex with him the way I want.

Things I can do with my jaw wired shut:

Shove down all of my nerves regarding my doctor appointment in a few hours, and bitch about my wired jaw on tumblr.

[memesandlaughs]

[owl-librarian]

#you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek

[deadmomjokes]

Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again.

Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

[meow-moment]

This is better than any horror story and it’s all fucking real apparently

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

my college is purposefully labyrinthic because they were built so students could use them as a way to escape the military

so not only they’re full of twists, turns and dead ends - the maps on the corridors are mirrored at best, plain wrong at worst 

not only that but the walls are - also purposefully - thick enough that they block any sort of phone signal whatsoever. more than once I caught myself looking out the balcony to the sweet outside, after walking in circles for what felt like days, seeking an exit. 

of course, you CANNOT ever find your damn classroom. not unless you flock together with other students, strength in numbers, oddly protected by being in a group. otherwise? don’t even try.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times a professor emailed us the room number and I spent fifteen minutes walking circles on the buildings, then shrugged it off and went to have a chat with the resident flock of pigeons

coo, they say, and coo, I say back. 

all the walls look the same. if you take a wrong turn you find rusty metal gates  untouched for ages, strange grafittis, paitings of animals you cannot name, the smell of formoldehyde and sounds unrecognizable yet threatening. 

your upperclassmen will tell you, with deep rings under their eyes, to “not drink from the water fountains under no circumstances” 

at some point I’m pretty sure I ran across a very artistically rendered family tree of spongebob and the smurfette

it spanned three generations

and after two years getting intimate with that building, one day a freshman stopped me to ask about a classroom and that was when I realized - I realized I never did learn how to navigate the place

no. instead I walked the kid all the way to the entrance, and then I let muscle memory guide me to where the lab was. no hesitating - should I stop to think about it, I would never find the way forward, and never find the way back. 

labs can only ever be reached through the chasing of a memory of being there once, and the pursuit of that particular faint smell of rat. you don’t know the building, not really - you can only ever get you to point B if you start at point A, nowhere else. the building grants you the mercy of a single safe path.

and though I have long since moved elsewhere, sometimes, at night, when things are dark and worry gnaws at me, when I feel threatened, I think about that place. 

I think about wing K, room seven, where the organs are kept, and I know that should I ever need to, I could delve into those halls to never, ever be found. most times, being lost is scary. but there’s a longing there. a longing to walk into those walls and just… disappear

(safe and at home)

(and become another haunting of those walls)

i don’t know the buildings at all

but I think maybe, just maybe, they might know me

[carolinskyy]

Oh hey I found the horror story I asked for

[carolinskyy]

Hey past me what the fuck did you just read

[promisetoloveyouforevermore]

this goes so hard

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

i love it thanks

[punk-jaskier]

I can’t stop thinking about how “ABBA but shredding” is apparently just Queen, which is the best news ever tbh.

[catasters]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]