TWENTY AND ONWARD

CHRONICLES OF A WOMAN'S BATTLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[manicsilverware]

Dysphoric mania is being actually so pissed at every person and even cars that simply crosses your path because they are in the motherfucking way and they are bothering and TARGETING you

[thebipolarguy01-deactivated2022]

Bipolar Thoughts

Me: I need to go to bed, have to work tomorrow.

My manic brain: *singing lyrics of a song, painting the kitchen and binge eating chocolate* “You what mate?”

Me: Comon. I have to work tomorrow.

My manic brain: You have to work for 40 years. So whats the point if you miss a day?

Me: Well.. you’ve got a point there. 

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome]

Bipolar, anxiety and depression: Hey, wouldn’t it be neat if-

Me: new meds who dis

[alone-in-wonderland-deactivated]

You know what the worst part is?

Having to fake that you have a stomach bug/food poisoning/flu when calling in sick to school or work because saying you were up all night being a delusional, paranoid, crying mess on the bedroom floor wouldn’t be taken seriously.

[20andonward]

THIS. Luckily I’m able to now explain that I need a mental health day, rather than make up lies and excuses.

[20andonward]

New med combo version 500.

Saw a new psychiatrist today. She’s keeping me on Lamictal but adding on Vraylar, which is a new anti psychotic. Not sure how I feel about trying a med released as recently as this but hey, I’m out of options at the moment. Fingers crossed. In other news, my psychologist says he doesn’t think I’m bipolar. My new psychiatrist says I fit the bill, even if I’m not a textbook example. I honestly don’t really care, I just want normalcy. More later. Maybe.

[preservable]

my secret talent is getting tired without doing anything

[elmosw0rld-deactivated20200122]

Can i…umm…have some emotional stability pls?

[juansendizon]

Ask yourself this question: if you weren’t anxious, what would you? And then don’t wait. Don’t even think. Just go do it.

Juansen Dizon (via juansendizon)

I wish.

[bpdwhite-blog]

me: *doesn’t show symptoms for a while*

me: am i cured or did i just fake the whole thing

[20andonward]

Accurate.

[nicolethedopefiendqueen]

I just want to go, go somewhere, anywhere that is not here. I want to feel all that I am not feeling and not feel all that I am.

excerpt from my journal, undated. (via nicolethedopefiendqueen)

[monotonebaccon]

Hopefully sitting in the shower and crying will make me feel better.

- Me, knowing full well that it won’t

[anxietyproblem]

This blog is Dedicated to anyone suffering from Anxiety! Please Follow Us if You Can Relate: ANXIETYPROBLEMS

[20andonward]

When you’re headed down the rabbit hole, haven’t slept for well weeks and you’re not taking your meds.

[20andonward]

I know when people drink too much they tend to do it to numb themselves.

But I’ve noticed I drink to feel free, to feel and think and be SOMETHING more than the mundane.

[20andonward]

Psychiatrist raised the dosage on my meds.

I’ve been insanely nauseous all day which made me think I might be pregnant. Took a test, it was negative but I just threw up twice in an hour. Wanted to get so much more done today but it’s 7pm and I’m curled up in bed. Fucking medication. No wonder I’m not always compliant.

[20andonward]

My dog has learned to sit on my chest during panic attacks.

She’s 14 pounds and will just lay on my chest when I’m about to have a panic attack. 9 times out of 10 she manages to stop them. I’ve never had a method that works to ward them off except for her. 

This little dog has not only saved my life but she protects me whenever she can. When your life is consumed by mental illness, you have to appreciate those things that help you not only survive but thrive.