Idea Blog, No Upload Schedule, Mostly Life Series/MCYT, Word Vomiting
Author Pronouns and Name: She/her is fine but prefer they/them/xey/xem/fae/faer/it and prefer alternating, for purposes of this blog author will use the name Onyx
Hello! This is my first tumblr blog that I am currently calling Too Many Ideas Too Little Time! This is where you can get ideas for fics or animatics or other fan works for any fandoms I'm in, for free!
This is run by @peskybirdonyx, my main account! We have fun over there.
"There are good ideas, bad ideas and whatever this is."
Important Info:
Comments will likely be turned off for this blog for safety reasons.
Any fan works created using an idea from this blog do not need to be credited to this blog. It is appreciated but not required.
So that we can see what is created, we ask that you post any fan works created using ideas from this blog under the hashtag, and maybe submit it if you want! The hashtag is: #2mi2lilt
Current main fandoms(very subject to change):
Percy Jackson
In Stars And Time
Life Series/MCYT*
*as of posting this, most if not all of my ideas will be for MCYT and specifically the Life Series or Hermitcraft. I may not post any ISAT ideas, and I am very unlikely to post Percy Jackson ideas, but I am still a fan, so I thought I'd include it
"The captain lives by the sword. And the captain loves by the sword." The betrayal at the end, Martyn's craziness, ahh!
"Always the last and never the least." Scott's loyalty holding him back!
"Always surpassed and never decreased." Scott, a previous winner, being surpassed by Martyn.
"Always the past controls your mind." THE WATCHERS USING REN'S MEMORY TO CONTROL AND MANIPULATE MARTYN INTO BETRAYING SCOTT!!
"And when he dies by the sword. He'll reward you for your obedience. For your countenance has woven in at every turn." Scott's 'obedience' was 'rewarded' with betrayal and loss by Martyn in the final fight, and yet Scott is still loyal, still 'obedient.' "My own Mean Gill, and I wouldn't have it any other way..."
"Even as the back, even as the back. Of the hand still burns. From the last airstrike." The 'burning hand' is the lava, the 'last airstrike' is the final hit and the look of betrayal and acceptance.
Here's some Jimmy angst on this lovely afternoon while I'm crying over the newest Castoff page(Star I love you but HOW FUCKING DARE /aff) so I need to make more characters suffer.
There's blood in the water, there's blood in the water. The quiet are restless, the silent are still." Jimmy's first two 3rd Life deaths.
"I'm nobody's daughter, I'm nobody's daughter." Jimmy with Scott, poppies
"My enemies crow," The meeting between Flower Husbands and Dogwarts.
""We're alone with the kill."" Jimmy being shot and killed in the Bunker in 3rd Life.
"If mercy's abound, I'll be safe, I'll be sound." Jimmy with the Southlanders, feeling safe in the Southlands.
"And the devil won't know of the love, I just couldn't let go." Maybe make Jimmy's first death to Lizzie him not fighting back until it's too late because she's his Seabling and he trusted her?
"I won't pretend, my season won't end." Jimmy's last death.
"But I pray, when it's done, when it's through, I'll have something left for you." Martyn talking to the Jimmy scarecrow with Jimmy's spirit lingering, maybe?
"The noble are weary, the noble are weary." Jimmy and Tango both searching for their soulmates.
"This cradle still burns, like a hole in my chest." First death(Tango getting exploded by a creeper) and meeting at spawn.
"Can anyone hear me? Can anyone hear me?" Jimmy's second death to Etho while screaming up on the tower in the Red Velvet Keep.
"The crooked are smiling. They know me the best." Jimmy's last death to the enderman, or 'the crooked' in this case.
"If mercy's abound, I'll be safe, I'll be sound." Jimmy feeling safe with the bad boys.
"And the devil won't know of the love, I just couldn't let go." Jimmy protecting Grian during the AFK session.
"I won't pretend, my season won't end." Jimmy's final death.
"But I pray, when it's done, when it's through, I'll have something left for you." Grian and Joel at Jimmy's grave.
"If mercy's abound, I'll be safe, I'll be sound." Jimmy in Secret Life with Martyn in their base.
"And the devil won't know of the love, I just couldn't let go." Jimmy and Martyn being the Task Force together, Jimmy looks at Martyn fondly, Martyn returns the look but has a momentary flashback to the scarecrow Jimmy in Last Life.
"I won't pretend, my season won't end." Jimmy cheering about Lizzie's death only to immediately die himself.
"But I pray, when it's done, when it's through, I'll have something left for you." Jimmy pleading with the Watchers, who are looking down on him with disgust. He's praying that they still keep him, still find value in him even without the Canary Curse.
Whew! That's all, sorry for not posting for a while.
Anyways, angsty Life Series Grian animatic idea to yet another Crane Wives song, let's go!
So, I'm thinking Down The River by the Crane Wives but it's Grian hallucinating what the other Lifers think about him continuing the games.
Here's who would sing each verse lyric:
I've been wishing that you'd prove me wrong (Scott)
That you'd come clean and rue the damage done (Etho)
Restore my faith in you (Lizzie)
But you've got no reason to (Ren)
'Cause ain't it easier to just move on? (Martyn)
One door closing means another one (BigB)
Opens unto (Skizz)
Some unsuspecting fool (Jimmy)
I've been hearing that you're leaving town (Mumbo)
The dust never settles when you're around (Tango)
Too many people with (Gem)
Your name on top of their lists (Joel)
Now, tell me, when you start again (Impulse)
Where will you house your skeletons? (Cleo)
Or will they stay behind? (Bdubs)
Your settlement in kind (Pearl)
I feel like Scar has to be the one who does the "you were never the one to suffer" and the rest of every chorus goes chronologically through the winners
So, Over and Over by Rio Romeo, with Grian's widow curse(I personally call it the cardinal curse, but widows curse will be used here bc most people use it. as for why I call it the cardinal curse... well, I suppose someone will have to ask me why)
"Over and over. I fuck myself over. And under and under. I do it again." Grian continuing the games despite the suffering it causes him and others(In my au he was forced to do so. What au? IG you'll have to ask(please do please i need an excuse to yap about my main LS au pls pls pls))
"Morning and evening. I felt I was grieving. Until I said fuck you. And never again." Grian refusing to team with Scar again after the end of 3rd Life?? Doomed yaoi desert duo my beloved
Like, the line "Daytime or night time I feel Iâm on my time. But my time is fickle. Just like a friend." is so widow's curse coded. "BECAUSE THEY ALL DIED BEFORE HIM!!" I scream as they drag me into a padded room /hj
"And with my departure. From the pain I harbor. I feel I am sinking. And sailing to swim." Grian killing himself at the end of 3rd Life to start the next game, mayhaps?
Go forth, Grian stans. I know who you are, I see the repeated names in the likes and activity. Y'all ain't subtle, I know which tags you stalk /vpos /aff
Omg ty so much for asking. You donât know what demon you've just unleashed.
Also, if you're asking why I call the widow's curse the cardinal curse, that is a reblog I did responding to someone else asking about it, although it is also touched on here! If this isnât the question, could you maybe be a little more specific?
Anyways, au time! Warning, very very long post.
Main Background/Story:
Grian created the games to have fun with other Hermits(and a few Empires people), originally away from the Watchers influence, as the one place he could fully escape any trace of having to be Xelqua(his Watcher name, basically another entire personality developed to survive the Watchers and their abuse). But, unfortunately, 3rd Life spawned more negative emotions than he expected. Negative emotions that the Watchers detected and could feed on. The Watchers started controlling the game at the end of 3rd Life, forcing Grian to kill Scar, and have continued to control parts of the games ever since, for their own amusement and to torment Grian. Grian cannot end the games until he figures out how to remove the Watchers from the Code, because trying to terminate something controlled and favored by the Watchers could put every Lifer in danger. Because Grian doesn't want the other Lifers, his friends, to suffer, after every game, their memories are wiped in the Code. But the Watchers decide to make the winners remember their winning season, just to make it more entertaining. Can the winners piece together what these memories are, or will they go mad trying? Will non winners shun the winners, thinking them to be mad? Will Grian be able to end the games? Who knows! Welcome back to yet another season! â´áˇ áâˇáˇ áęâ´á||á â´á⸠̣ áľââăŞâŁ
Notes/Other Info:
Grian had to have an escape from Hermitcraft because he felt Xelqua slipping out more and more in his day to day life:
Xelqua is his Watcher title. It is also the personality he had created to survive the Watcherâs torment, a mindless, violent doll a few shades off from the real Grian, that acted as judge, jury, and executioner. It was a shield, armor, protecting Grian from the horrors he couldnât bear on his own. Every time he had blacked out during punishments, every time he had zoned out while being trained to dispatch any inconveniences with a well placed dagger and the job was miraculously finished when his mind caught up, it wasn't luck. It was Xelqua.
One of the reasons Grian had to leave is because Xisuma's natural presence and aura as a voidwalker and ex-Watcher jumpstarts a kind of primal fear in Grian that triggers Xelqua more often. Grian knows this fear is unnatural, Xisuma has always been kind and helpful to him, almost like a father, but trauma responses don't care about logic.
Xisuma was very understanding and helped Grian a little with weaving the Code for the new Server, although Grian requested that Xisuma not help for too long, because while Codeweaving, Xisumaâs intimidating presence strengthens, causing Xelqua to fight harder to come out, assuming danger.
Because Grian isn't as experienced or skilled at Codeweaving as Xisuma, the Code for the Server isn't as powerful, which is why the Watchers can find it and corrupt it.
All of Grianâs worst luck in the series(Desert Duo tragedy, given two lives in LL, his pairing in DL(Desert Duo tragedy continued), Widow Curse(i like calling it the Cardinal Curse since cardinals represent the spirit of a loved one after death and the Widow Curse is about how in most series Grian outlives the vast majority of his allies and is often the cause of most of their permadeaths, plus it matches with Jimmy's Canary Curse, and Grianâs main color is red), etc) is a punishment from the Watchers for trying to create a game without them, and because they simply find much entertainment in his suffering.
After 3rd Life, Grian distances himself from Scar, fearing that he'll hurt the other again:
Scar, not remembering past seasons, doesn't understand why Grian is so cold to him, but it hurts. It hurts so much. And the Watchers hold off on feeding on all of Scar's loneliness, saving some to carry over seasons to amplify more emotions for them to devour later.
Grian, however, sees his actions as protecting Scar. It's all in the name of protection, and he'll do unspeakable things to keep his friends safe, no matter the cost, no matter how much it pained him(little bit I wrote for this âWhenever Grian looked at the face of Scar Goodtimes, all he saw was that beautiful profile, bruised and bloodied, marred and scratched apart by his talons. Whenever he felt Scar's hand, his pulse, he remembered that very same pulse seasons ago, fading, as he held Scar's broken form against his chest. Whenever he heard the othersâ laughter, he heard his apologies, his sobs, and worst of all, that warped, broken, choked chuckle he let out as he faded. Whenever he looked into the warmth of Scar's eyes, one second everythingâs fine, and then those once gorgeous greens are dark red, dull and foggy, unseeing, and his skin is grey, and his pulse isn't there, and oh god it's the cacti field again what have you done you have to jump jump jumP JUMP JUMP ALREADY and your foot hovers over the edge and the grief tips you over andâ No. You won't hurt him. Never again. And if that means pushing him away, so be it.â)
The Watchers hate Scott. For a few reasons. For one, Scott disrespecting their game in Last Life by letting the Boogey Curse take him, and Scottâs track record of disrespecting deities(on most SMPs he's in). Itâs also because he's too kind and too skilled/powerful. He does too well and can't control it, he's just a tryhard by accident and has to nerf himself, but he also sticks to his principles. He's kind and trusting, no matter what, and is a martyr at heart, consistently sacrificing himself to help his teammates and nerf himself. Because of this, the Watchers get very few negative emotions from him, and they hate his guts for it.
Because Secret Life was the only season where we don't see the winner die, the reason for this is that the Watchers, now having perfectly cultivated and groomed Scar into a villain, don't want to lose this version of him:
Scar is losing his mind completely. At first, he didnât even know he won, but after everything went down, he went back to the Secret Keeper to press the succeed button one final time. Except, âone final timeâ became two, then three, then four and five and six and suddenly he was slumped over the button, slamming it repeatedly with weak, trembling hands, desperation consuming him, hundreds of scrolls littered around him, all with the same sentiment, the same tired goal he had long since achieved. âWin Secret Lifeâ was no longer encouragement, no longer a goal, not even a demand. It was nothing but a cruel mockery of his predicament, a reminder of how wholly stuck and alone he was, at the mercy of the Watchers and their sick whims.
He'd turned to desperate measures more times than he'd care to admit. More than anything, his biggest fear was being all alone. He needed people, and needed people to see him, want him, need him in return. And hadn't all of this taken that and shattered it, forcing him to be a sick villain, a warped caricature of the man everyone knew? But, even now, he'd rather be hated and scorned than nothing at all. Because, as much as it hurts to be something, for Scar, it was always, always worse to be nothing. Just like how he was to Grian. Don't think about it. Scar would much rather die, rather have his skin torn from his flesh and his body eviscerated into a sea of crumbling nothingness, rather be trapped in another of these disgusting âdeath gamesâ, than to be this sickeningly alone. And he tried. Void, did he try. He had jumped off cliffs, bashed his head into hard stone until he was bloody and concussed, tried to strangle himself with those stupid scrolls lying useless in the dirt. But the Watchers wouldn't let him die.
Weeks in, he was slumped against the button, limply pressing it with barely remaining strength while considering if he could die by eating the damned scrolls, his vision foggy and his thoughts manic and loopy, when Grian was finally able to get into the Code and free him.
However, because Scar won that season, he remembers it all. The crippling loneliness, the desperation, the hallucinating. the Voices, the attempts. They had both been changed by it.
Now that Scar was a âwinnerâ, Grian could talk to him about the basics of the situation. Now, Scar understands why G is pushing him away, at least a little, but it still hurts more than words could ever express, especially after Secret Life.
Scar doesn't really recover from Secret Life. Because, well, who would recover from such a fate? Scar's mostly lost his whimsy and joy for life. He keeps up his former cheery persona just barely, but Grian can see right through it, and it wouldn't take much effort for someone less enlightened to do so as well, especially another winner. Scar's also now terrified to be alone again in any capacity, but Grian also still cannot bring himself to team with him, so Grian works a little admin stuff behind the scenes to counter the Watchers subtly by heightening Scar's chances to encounter and team with people that can match his former energy and maybe bring some of it back. This is helped by the fact that Scar desperately wants that joy and innocence back and is thus already more likely to want to team with those people(this idea mainly comes from his silly teaming with Jimmy and Lizzie in Wild Life, being the Bamboozlers. I'll figure out how Cottagecore in Past Life fits into this later)
Grian doesn't want to have unique winners every season. He doesnât want more people to suffer the curse of knowledge, of being a winner:
He hopes someone responsible, like Scott or maybe Martyn(although he didn't like Martyn's first win, because he could sense Watcher corruption inside of it, but now Martyn has firmly rebelled against the Watchers, he trusts him enough now), or, much better yet, himself, because a winner having two seasons is less devastating than having to rope new people in, see their shock and horror when they know just how stuck they all are, and the depths of all that they canât know. Sometimes they cry, sometimes theyâre stoic. Sometimes they're angry at him, sometimes angry at themselves, sometimes angrier at the Watchers, sometimes at the situation as a whole. Sometimes they feel bad for him. It's the same either way. Grian hates that expression more than anything, most of all hates that it's his fault.
Grian doesn't get his wish until Simple Life, though, and never in a longer game until Past Life. In total, he's only had three repeat winners, and two were in short games, although he has also won once himself, removing Third Life from the equation. So he's had to introduce six people to the repetitiveness, the loneliness of the games. He tries not to think about it.
Each player's response varied. Scott was stoic but very understanding of the whole situation, and pledged to help Grian as much as possible to figure this out and fix it(always so kind. So helpful. Not like Grian deserved it). Pearl⌠she didn't take it very well. She cried. She screamed. She was furious, at him, at Scott for knowing(it didn't help with their existing tension about the season), at everyone, really. It took a little while for her to think rationally, but she relented after a few days. Martyn, once freed from the Watcher influence from the end of Limited Life, was similar to Scott in his response, although much more dramatic with denouncing the Watchers and offering his assistance, in such a quintessentially Martyn-esque way that Grian appreciated. He needed that normalcy. Scar⌠Scar was complicated. His season was rough, and the season end was so prolonged and awful that it took a major toll on his mental state. As good of an actor as Scar was, Grian could tell. By the time Grian had gotten to him through the Code, there wasn't much left to save of the once whimsical, chaotic man he had loved so much. Scar seemed to understand why Grian had avoided him once he explained the situation at surface level(with Scott there to calm his nerves, because, as ashamed as he was to admit it, he was still terrified of being alone with Scar), explaining that Scar's experience was the fifth, and the Grianâs avoidance of Scar was not his fault and was a result of a similarly horrible experience in the first season. Scar seemed to understand, but was still hurt, which Grian understood. And Grian wouldnât dare to even request Scar's help, not when Scar was still barely hanging on to his sanity. (It didn't matter if Grianâs sanity had far beyond wavered, too. It didn't matter that Grian was crumbling, too. It's fine. He's fine. He's fineâŚ) Joel was a perfect mixture of indifference and anger. Not angry at Grian, though, for some reason. Grian didn't get why. Joel was angry at the situation, at the Watchers, and a little at himself. Cleo was furious at the Watchers and the situation, letting out a steady stream of explicits that made Grian borderline terrified and uncomfortable when he explained the Watchers role. She also seemed to feel a little bad for him, which he didnât understand. She didn't show if that observation was correct, however. Cleo wasn't one for softness or sugarcoating. She was blunt and honest, and he liked that about her.
Iâd kind of like to toy with the idea of Scott being a sort of confidant to Grian, the only person he fully trusts with information about the games. Obviously, Grian wonât let himself be vulnerable with anyone, and this includes Scott, but Scott can usually coax at least a little out of our favorite permanent-state-of-panic-attack- ADHD avian.
Oh god. Okay. It's done. I basically copied my entire notes doc for this lol. Sorry for the long read, I really like to yap.
If this au sparks any ideas for anyone, please please please feel free to use it for any fanworks! Just tag me or send it to me or something please, I beg.
If you want more of my angst ramblings, they're on the main blog, and under #2mi2lilt, and if you happen to be an animator or fic writer in need of ideas, steal em! That's the point! Just post it under the tag i mentioned above.
Thank you! I actually just deleted the previous reblog since I meant to send it under Too Many Ideas Too Little Time, lol. Sorry, new Tumblr user problems!
Okay, I adore using song lyrics to title fics, so here's some random Crane Wives lyrics to use to title fics.
I wasn't born a safe ship, someone wore me down -Safe Ship, Harbored
Oh my savage empire, how lucky we are/Never to be moved by the words of a liar -Ribs
The dark doesn't frighten me, I chose to close my eyes -Ribs
Try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to hold you -Never Lover An Anchor
I gave you everything I had/And now I want it back -Strangler Fig
I will poison all your happy thoughts/I will love you like the ashes in my cigarette box -Tongues & Teeth
I'm just a ten cent copy/Of people far more advanced than me -Empty Page
I'm nothing if not obedient/You have my word -Empty Page
I am a light that's burning out -Empty Page
You'll do it better, show me how -Empty Page
I am a petty thing on a high, high horse -High Horse
I have gasoline in my veins/I am always burning, burning, burning -The Wolf
Can it be, can it be easy for once?/'Cause I'm no good at being kind to myself/Or anyone -The Wolf
Come my dear and drink while the water's still cold/I am naught but a scar upon your breastbone -October
Like a mad dog after a rabbit/I keep running, running, running/I don't feel like it gets me anywhere, anywhere -Mad Dog
There's black hole in the living room floor/I keep trying to ignore/But it's growing -Black Hole Fantasy
If love is just a chemical reaction/Is there a pill to take?/Something to quell this ache? -Black Hole Fantasy
Even in my fantasy I can't commit to believing/That I'll get what I want/I'm afraid of what I want -Black Hole Fantasy
And on the other side is another life/A version of me with a spark in her eyes that I don't have/And now she's laughing/And it's killing me that I cannot see what's making her laugh -Black Hole Fantasy
I've gotten good at living on someone else's page -Metaphor
Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me -Metaphor
And all these words are sweet and meaningless/You can't trust a single thing I say -Metaphor
I'm not the person that I thought I was -Scars
All the love, all the kindness, all your best laid plans/Couldn't stop me from becoming the way that I am -Scars
Was I born with a hole in my heart?/A fatal fault at the start? -Scars
Tell me it's inevitable that I'd end up with scars -Scars
Oh, I'm burning like a tire fire and I don't know why -Scars
Nothing could have been done, is that right? -Scars
I'm afraid of what I'll find in the rubble when it's done/I didn't wanna hurt anyone -Higher Ground
What's the worst thing that could happen?/What's the worst thing you can imagine? -Predator
This world is a nasty place/I'm afraid to get comfortable -Predator
Unavoidable disaster/Serial overreactor/My head is a nasty place/I'm afraid to get comfortable -Predator
Oh the path of least resistance/Foolish misinterpretation -Predator
I swear that I loved you/I swear, I swear -Little Soldiers
I won't move but I can't stay here/So what the hell am I supposed to do? -Easier
And if I were someplace else/And if I were someone else/And if I were not myself/Would this be easier? -Easier
I am a pretty young thing/I am consumed with selfish wanting/Carelessly broke you down/But I ain't done -I Ain't Done
You put me in the ground/But I ain't done -I Ain't Done
Paid my sins in blood/But I ain't done -I Ain't Done
But if I made my bed/Did I make the demons in it? -Hollow Moon
There's more to life than suffering -Arcturus Beaming
Nothing will change until I change -Arcturus Beaming
The heat can make you lose your head/Your sense of direction -Steady, Steady
How long is forever? -Steady, Steady
This ring around my finger is like a chain around my throat -Steady, Steady
I will add more later! Bye, Tumblr. :)
Also, yes I know I put like half of some songs, it's not my fault they have such good lyrics!
Here I Am by the Crane Wives with Scar in Last Life, Double Life, and Secret Life! First verse/chorus is Last Life, second verse/chorus is Double Life, and the end is Secret Life, with periodic Third Life flashbacks!
The following includes sketches of dubious quality of my vision for the animatic. Please do not mind my bad art, bad photos, or even worse handwriting.
Might add more photos when I finish, but this is just everything for the first two verses and choruses(LL and DL) and for the beginning of the end(SL)
Adding another page! Sorry about the awful photography and bad art, I'm not great at drawing the winners. Why do I fall in love with characters I can't draw??
Anyways, the way I wrote "I Come From A Long Line" is important because it's like one of those acrostic poems. It uses the I, the M in Come, the M in From, the A, the N in Long, and the E in Line, spelling IMMANE. This works out perfectly, because immane can, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, mean huge or monstrous in character.
I also did not have room to draw it here, but I love the idea of the spirit of past winners turning into blessings for the new winner. So, in this case, Limited Life Martyn's spirit becomes Scar's sword, Double Life Pearl's spirit becomes the flowers on Scar's cloak, Last Life Scott's spirit becomes a crown of laurels upon Scar's head, and 3rd Life Grian...his spirit becomes Scar's heart, his courage, his loyalty. That's what allows him to win.
Yes, this is also an excuse for symbolism and even more Desert Duo angst. No, I'm not sorry about it. You signed up for this by clicking on this post. You saw the tags.(maybe) You made your bed, dear reader. Lie in it.
And, before you do, maybe drop a like or reblog..?(#shameful plug)
Final two pages! The sketch(yes it's just a sketch) is finally done! Someone else please do something with it, I really don't have time. Anyways, explanation!
"Of people who believe in things like": Silhouettes of the Winners inside their respective symbols(Grian: the Sun, Scott: a Star, Pearl: the Moon, Martyn: an hourglass(I couldn't remember his symbol. I thought it was Mars, but I didn't know how to represent that, so alas), and Scar: the Earth)
"Flowers that grow": A sunflower flourishing in the cracks between stones
"In the cracks": A silhouette of Scar in front of the Secret Keeper pressing the succeed button, viewed from far away
"In the street": Closer up of Scar hesitating over the button, on the button is a sign that says "Succeed" in galactic.
"HERE I AM": Side profile of a silhouette of Scar pressing the button, all inside an image of the earth.
"HERE I AM": A silhouette of Scar curled up in front of the Secret Keeper breaking down, surrounded by a mess of scrolls. The text across the curve of the Secret Keeper reads "here I am" in galactic, and the left button reads "succeed" in galactic, and the right button reads "fail" in galactic. Reasoning: In my AU, the Watchers like the villain they've turned Scar into, and trap him in Secret Life. Once Scar presses the button, the "Win Secret Life" scroll dissolves in his hands and a new one forms. He tries again, and again, to no avail. He eventually begins throwing the scrolls behind him in frustration as he spams the button, but pressing succeed without a scroll in his hand makes it glitch and give him a new scroll without removing the last one. So, as he does this, slumped over the button, presses slowly getting slower and less frantic as he falls into despondency and madness, scrolls pile up around him. He eventually begins trying to kill himself in various ways, banging his head into the stone pedestals, throwing himself off the cliff, stabbing himself with his own sword, trying to hang himself with the scrolls, but the Watchers wouldn't let him die. He was at the point of considering eating the stupid scrolls when Grian finally managed to save him.
Whew! Long post. Have fun with that, Tumblr! And sorry about the infrequent posting, ADHD is a pain in the ass.
I'm so sorry I haven't posted in days, ADHD is a pain in the ass. Anyways, short post, I just think Empty Page by the Crane Wives works well with Pearl. I see Pearl as this always changing, always learning person who is always just below mastery at everything, because it fits her IRL, but I see her as being upset about this, because she is always just slightly below best at everything and is nothing unique, nothing of her own. She sees herself as spare parts, good enough at everything but never excellent at anything. So, do with that what you will!
Sorry I barely posted today, I was very busy and didnât have many ideas, lol. Here's one more for today, though. I posted this in the Life Series community too!
I just had a really angsty idea. What if the Life Series ended after Secret Life?
Wait, let me cook.
Scar got stuck in the Secret Life world in most aus, right? How about instead of being freed eventually(my main au) or being stuck forever and replaced by a copy(in many aus, including Martyn's iirc), he was just there. Grian had shut down the other player's Codes temporarily while working with Xisuma to try and free Scar, and any games from after Secret Life(ie Real Life, Wild Life, Simple Life, Nice Life, and Past Life) are just hallucinations of Scar's as he's driven mad by the torment. Because, with how I characterize Scar, his biggest fear is being alone. He's social and extroverted to a fault, he'd rather be hated than alone. For him, as much as it can hurt to be something, it is always, always worse to be nothing. So he hallucinates these new games, with his friends back. This is also why he doesn't win any of them, because he never wants to be a winner again. It's also why Joel, Martyn and Scott were winning, because he didn't really like them in SL. I'm usually a firm hater of the "it was all a dream" trope, but it could be really interesting here?
Have fun with this for all your GTWScar angst fic needs, lol. Night night, Tumblr! Or, evening for me, but evening evening doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?
Here I Am by the Crane Wives with Scar in Last Life, Double Life, and Secret Life! First verse/chorus is Last Life, second verse/chorus is Double Life, and the end is Secret Life, with periodic Third Life flashbacks!
The following includes sketches of dubious quality of my vision for the animatic. Please do not mind my bad art, bad photos, or even worse handwriting.
Might add more photos when I finish, but this is just everything for the first two verses and choruses(LL and DL) and for the beginning of the end(SL)
Thank you? Glad you liked it?? Should i send professional help??? I am very confused.
Also, not me immediately searching all over ao3 for the fic in the first two images(the "Mild Dirty Jokes" tag followed by "(Thanks Scott)" was too intriguing) lol.
Oh, also also, you may have seen, I reblogged this idea with a new page I drew, so if you want that... well, you know where to go. #shameless plug
Hello, Tumblr! Good morning! Posting a little later than usual, but alas. I suppose the honeymoon phase of having a new blog is ending.
But today, I have an idea for a fan favorite. You know her, you love her. Pearl! Pearlo, PearliePop, Pearlie, PearlescentMoon, etc.
I'm thinking Eulogy For Nobody by Debbii Dawson for a Scarlet Pearl animatic.
"I live my life in these four walls. Head full of dreams but I'm afraid to tell them all. I climb the staircase. Carry all the dead weight. Just to fall, fall, fall, fall, fall." Pearl alone in the tower with only Tilly, and maybe the part about falling could be Tilly's first death and Pearl's reaction(yes I'm that cruel)
"There is a box I keep it closed. All full of ashes from the letters that I wrote. Maybe tomorrow. The pills I couldn't swallow. They'll seem small, small, small, small, small." Pearl being kicked out of the box, then her house on the bridge being burnt by Cleo, and so on.
"Sometimes I feel like. A raindrop in the ocean. Fell from the sky I. Melted into nothing. Don't know why." Fell from the sky could have the moth(Pearl) being burnt by the light(Scott), because Scott is often characterized as light or as a star, and Pearl is sometimes thought to be a moth hybrid. The light will always burn the moth, but the moth will always keep trying. Poetic, isn't it?(sorry, i just got really cryptic)
"Last night I wrote my own eulogy. Here lies the girl who never let herself be free. Ain't it ironic? The first time I was honest. I was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone." Pearl's unhingedness(unhingitude? Unhingification?) and being betrayed and killed by Scott's final sacrifice.
"I'm not one to wear my heart out on my sleeve. But here I am, will you take all of me? Thought love was for the perfect. That I don't deserve it. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong." Pearl still searching for love in people who can never give enough(ie Scott, Pearl, maybe Cleo, maybe even Grian if we dip into Past Life)
Have fun, Tumblr. Enjoy our favorite PearliePop in immense suffering as i did writing this.
So, Over and Over by Rio Romeo, with Grian's widow curse(I personally call it the cardinal curse, but widows curse will be used here bc most people use it. as for why I call it the cardinal curse... well, I suppose someone will have to ask me why)
"Over and over. I fuck myself over. And under and under. I do it again." Grian continuing the games despite the suffering it causes him and others(In my au he was forced to do so. What au? IG you'll have to ask(please do please i need an excuse to yap about my main LS au pls pls pls))
"Morning and evening. I felt I was grieving. Until I said fuck you. And never again." Grian refusing to team with Scar again after the end of 3rd Life?? Doomed yaoi desert duo my beloved
Like, the line "Daytime or night time I feel Iâm on my time. But my time is fickle. Just like a friend." is so widow's curse coded. "BECAUSE THEY ALL DIED BEFORE HIM!!" I scream as they drag me into a padded room /hj
"And with my departure. From the pain I harbor. I feel I am sinking. And sailing to swim." Grian killing himself at the end of 3rd Life to start the next game, mayhaps?
Go forth, Grian stans. I know who you are, I see the repeated names in the likes and activity. Y'all ain't subtle, I know which tags you stalk /vpos /aff
Omg ty so much for asking. You donât know what demon you've just unleashed.
Also, if you're asking why I call the widow's curse the cardinal curse, that is a reblog I did responding to someone else asking about it, although it is also touched on here! If this isnât the question, could you maybe be a little more specific?
Anyways, au time! Warning, very very long post.
Main Background/Story:
Grian created the games to have fun with other Hermits(and a few Empires people), originally away from the Watchers influence, as the one place he could fully escape any trace of having to be Xelqua(his Watcher name, basically another entire personality developed to survive the Watchers and their abuse). But, unfortunately, 3rd Life spawned more negative emotions than he expected. Negative emotions that the Watchers detected and could feed on. The Watchers started controlling the game at the end of 3rd Life, forcing Grian to kill Scar, and have continued to control parts of the games ever since, for their own amusement and to torment Grian. Grian cannot end the games until he figures out how to remove the Watchers from the Code, because trying to terminate something controlled and favored by the Watchers could put every Lifer in danger. Because Grian doesn't want the other Lifers, his friends, to suffer, after every game, their memories are wiped in the Code. But the Watchers decide to make the winners remember their winning season, just to make it more entertaining. Can the winners piece together what these memories are, or will they go mad trying? Will non winners shun the winners, thinking them to be mad? Will Grian be able to end the games? Who knows! Welcome back to yet another season! â´áˇ áâˇáˇ áęâ´á||á â´á⸠̣ áľââăŞâŁ
Notes/Other Info:
Grian had to have an escape from Hermitcraft because he felt Xelqua slipping out more and more in his day to day life:
Xelqua is his Watcher title. It is also the personality he had created to survive the Watcherâs torment, a mindless, violent doll a few shades off from the real Grian, that acted as judge, jury, and executioner. It was a shield, armor, protecting Grian from the horrors he couldnât bear on his own. Every time he had blacked out during punishments, every time he had zoned out while being trained to dispatch any inconveniences with a well placed dagger and the job was miraculously finished when his mind caught up, it wasn't luck. It was Xelqua.
One of the reasons Grian had to leave is because Xisuma's natural presence and aura as a voidwalker and ex-Watcher jumpstarts a kind of primal fear in Grian that triggers Xelqua more often. Grian knows this fear is unnatural, Xisuma has always been kind and helpful to him, almost like a father, but trauma responses don't care about logic.
Xisuma was very understanding and helped Grian a little with weaving the Code for the new Server, although Grian requested that Xisuma not help for too long, because while Codeweaving, Xisumaâs intimidating presence strengthens, causing Xelqua to fight harder to come out, assuming danger.
Because Grian isn't as experienced or skilled at Codeweaving as Xisuma, the Code for the Server isn't as powerful, which is why the Watchers can find it and corrupt it.
All of Grianâs worst luck in the series(Desert Duo tragedy, given two lives in LL, his pairing in DL(Desert Duo tragedy continued), Widow Curse(i like calling it the Cardinal Curse since cardinals represent the spirit of a loved one after death and the Widow Curse is about how in most series Grian outlives the vast majority of his allies and is often the cause of most of their permadeaths, plus it matches with Jimmy's Canary Curse, and Grianâs main color is red), etc) is a punishment from the Watchers for trying to create a game without them, and because they simply find much entertainment in his suffering.
After 3rd Life, Grian distances himself from Scar, fearing that he'll hurt the other again:
Scar, not remembering past seasons, doesn't understand why Grian is so cold to him, but it hurts. It hurts so much. And the Watchers hold off on feeding on all of Scar's loneliness, saving some to carry over seasons to amplify more emotions for them to devour later.
Grian, however, sees his actions as protecting Scar. It's all in the name of protection, and he'll do unspeakable things to keep his friends safe, no matter the cost, no matter how much it pained him(little bit I wrote for this âWhenever Grian looked at the face of Scar Goodtimes, all he saw was that beautiful profile, bruised and bloodied, marred and scratched apart by his talons. Whenever he felt Scar's hand, his pulse, he remembered that very same pulse seasons ago, fading, as he held Scar's broken form against his chest. Whenever he heard the othersâ laughter, he heard his apologies, his sobs, and worst of all, that warped, broken, choked chuckle he let out as he faded. Whenever he looked into the warmth of Scar's eyes, one second everythingâs fine, and then those once gorgeous greens are dark red, dull and foggy, unseeing, and his skin is grey, and his pulse isn't there, and oh god it's the cacti field again what have you done you have to jump jump jumP JUMP JUMP ALREADY and your foot hovers over the edge and the grief tips you over andâ No. You won't hurt him. Never again. And if that means pushing him away, so be it.â)
The Watchers hate Scott. For a few reasons. For one, Scott disrespecting their game in Last Life by letting the Boogey Curse take him, and Scottâs track record of disrespecting deities(on most SMPs he's in). Itâs also because he's too kind and too skilled/powerful. He does too well and can't control it, he's just a tryhard by accident and has to nerf himself, but he also sticks to his principles. He's kind and trusting, no matter what, and is a martyr at heart, consistently sacrificing himself to help his teammates and nerf himself. Because of this, the Watchers get very few negative emotions from him, and they hate his guts for it.
Because Secret Life was the only season where we don't see the winner die, the reason for this is that the Watchers, now having perfectly cultivated and groomed Scar into a villain, don't want to lose this version of him:
Scar is losing his mind completely. At first, he didnât even know he won, but after everything went down, he went back to the Secret Keeper to press the succeed button one final time. Except, âone final timeâ became two, then three, then four and five and six and suddenly he was slumped over the button, slamming it repeatedly with weak, trembling hands, desperation consuming him, hundreds of scrolls littered around him, all with the same sentiment, the same tired goal he had long since achieved. âWin Secret Lifeâ was no longer encouragement, no longer a goal, not even a demand. It was nothing but a cruel mockery of his predicament, a reminder of how wholly stuck and alone he was, at the mercy of the Watchers and their sick whims.
He'd turned to desperate measures more times than he'd care to admit. More than anything, his biggest fear was being all alone. He needed people, and needed people to see him, want him, need him in return. And hadn't all of this taken that and shattered it, forcing him to be a sick villain, a warped caricature of the man everyone knew? But, even now, he'd rather be hated and scorned than nothing at all. Because, as much as it hurts to be something, for Scar, it was always, always worse to be nothing. Just like how he was to Grian. Don't think about it. Scar would much rather die, rather have his skin torn from his flesh and his body eviscerated into a sea of crumbling nothingness, rather be trapped in another of these disgusting âdeath gamesâ, than to be this sickeningly alone. And he tried. Void, did he try. He had jumped off cliffs, bashed his head into hard stone until he was bloody and concussed, tried to strangle himself with those stupid scrolls lying useless in the dirt. But the Watchers wouldn't let him die.
Weeks in, he was slumped against the button, limply pressing it with barely remaining strength while considering if he could die by eating the damned scrolls, his vision foggy and his thoughts manic and loopy, when Grian was finally able to get into the Code and free him.
However, because Scar won that season, he remembers it all. The crippling loneliness, the desperation, the hallucinating. the Voices, the attempts. They had both been changed by it.
Now that Scar was a âwinnerâ, Grian could talk to him about the basics of the situation. Now, Scar understands why G is pushing him away, at least a little, but it still hurts more than words could ever express, especially after Secret Life.
Scar doesn't really recover from Secret Life. Because, well, who would recover from such a fate? Scar's mostly lost his whimsy and joy for life. He keeps up his former cheery persona just barely, but Grian can see right through it, and it wouldn't take much effort for someone less enlightened to do so as well, especially another winner. Scar's also now terrified to be alone again in any capacity, but Grian also still cannot bring himself to team with him, so Grian works a little admin stuff behind the scenes to counter the Watchers subtly by heightening Scar's chances to encounter and team with people that can match his former energy and maybe bring some of it back. This is helped by the fact that Scar desperately wants that joy and innocence back and is thus already more likely to want to team with those people(this idea mainly comes from his silly teaming with Jimmy and Lizzie in Wild Life, being the Bamboozlers. I'll figure out how Cottagecore in Past Life fits into this later)
Grian doesn't want to have unique winners every season. He doesnât want more people to suffer the curse of knowledge, of being a winner:
He hopes someone responsible, like Scott or maybe Martyn(although he didn't like Martyn's first win, because he could sense Watcher corruption inside of it, but now Martyn has firmly rebelled against the Watchers, he trusts him enough now), or, much better yet, himself, because a winner having two seasons is less devastating than having to rope new people in, see their shock and horror when they know just how stuck they all are, and the depths of all that they canât know. Sometimes they cry, sometimes theyâre stoic. Sometimes they're angry at him, sometimes angry at themselves, sometimes angrier at the Watchers, sometimes at the situation as a whole. Sometimes they feel bad for him. It's the same either way. Grian hates that expression more than anything, most of all hates that it's his fault.
Grian doesn't get his wish until Simple Life, though, and never in a longer game until Past Life. In total, he's only had three repeat winners, and two were in short games, although he has also won once himself, removing Third Life from the equation. So he's had to introduce six people to the repetitiveness, the loneliness of the games. He tries not to think about it.
Each player's response varied. Scott was stoic but very understanding of the whole situation, and pledged to help Grian as much as possible to figure this out and fix it(always so kind. So helpful. Not like Grian deserved it). Pearl⌠she didn't take it very well. She cried. She screamed. She was furious, at him, at Scott for knowing(it didn't help with their existing tension about the season), at everyone, really. It took a little while for her to think rationally, but she relented after a few days. Martyn, once freed from the Watcher influence from the end of Limited Life, was similar to Scott in his response, although much more dramatic with denouncing the Watchers and offering his assistance, in such a quintessentially Martyn-esque way that Grian appreciated. He needed that normalcy. Scar⌠Scar was complicated. His season was rough, and the season end was so prolonged and awful that it took a major toll on his mental state. As good of an actor as Scar was, Grian could tell. By the time Grian had gotten to him through the Code, there wasn't much left to save of the once whimsical, chaotic man he had loved so much. Scar seemed to understand why Grian had avoided him once he explained the situation at surface level(with Scott there to calm his nerves, because, as ashamed as he was to admit it, he was still terrified of being alone with Scar), explaining that Scar's experience was the fifth, and the Grianâs avoidance of Scar was not his fault and was a result of a similarly horrible experience in the first season. Scar seemed to understand, but was still hurt, which Grian understood. And Grian wouldnât dare to even request Scar's help, not when Scar was still barely hanging on to his sanity. (It didn't matter if Grianâs sanity had far beyond wavered, too. It didn't matter that Grian was crumbling, too. It's fine. He's fine. He's fineâŚ) Joel was a perfect mixture of indifference and anger. Not angry at Grian, though, for some reason. Grian didn't get why. Joel was angry at the situation, at the Watchers, and a little at himself. Cleo was furious at the Watchers and the situation, letting out a steady stream of explicits that made Grian borderline terrified and uncomfortable when he explained the Watchers role. She also seemed to feel a little bad for him, which he didnât understand. She didn't show if that observation was correct, however. Cleo wasn't one for softness or sugarcoating. She was blunt and honest, and he liked that about her.
Iâd kind of like to toy with the idea of Scott being a sort of confidant to Grian, the only person he fully trusts with information about the games. Obviously, Grian wonât let himself be vulnerable with anyone, and this includes Scott, but Scott can usually coax at least a little out of our favorite permanent-state-of-panic-attack- ADHD avian.
Oh god. Okay. It's done. I basically copied my entire notes doc for this lol. Sorry for the long read, I really like to yap.
If this au sparks any ideas for anyone, please please please feel free to use it for any fanworks! Just tag me or send it to me or something please, I beg.
Here I Am by the Crane Wives with Scar in Last Life, Double Life, and Secret Life! First verse/chorus is Last Life, second verse/chorus is Double Life, and the end is Secret Life, with periodic Third Life flashbacks!
The following includes sketches of dubious quality of my vision for the animatic. Please do not mind my bad art, bad photos, or even worse handwriting.
Might add more photos when I finish, but this is just everything for the first two verses and choruses(LL and DL) and for the beginning of the end(SL)
Adding another page! Sorry about the awful photography and bad art, I'm not great at drawing the winners. Why do I fall in love with characters I can't draw??
Anyways, the way I wrote "I Come From A Long Line" is important because it's like one of those acrostic poems. It uses the I, the M in Come, the M in From, the A, the N in Long, and the E in Line, spelling IMMANE. This works out perfectly, because immane can, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, mean huge or monstrous in character.
I also did not have room to draw it here, but I love the idea of the spirit of past winners turning into blessings for the new winner. So, in this case, Limited Life Martyn's spirit becomes Scar's sword, Double Life Pearl's spirit becomes the flowers on Scar's cloak, Last Life Scott's spirit becomes a crown of laurels upon Scar's head, and 3rd Life Grian...his spirit becomes Scar's heart, his courage, his loyalty. That's what allows him to win.
Yes, this is also an excuse for symbolism and even more Desert Duo angst. No, I'm not sorry about it. You signed up for this by clicking on this post. You saw the tags.(maybe) You made your bed, dear reader. Lie in it.
And, before you do, maybe drop a like or reblog..?(#shameful plug)
So, I'm thinking that Soldier, Poet, King trend with the Gs. For roles, here are my current thoughts. These can be reshuffled completely if needed.
Cleo is Soldier. She's the fighter, firey and strong, unafraid to say anything, make any threat, to get her way. She's brash, brave, blunt, more prone to violence than the others rather than peaceful settlement, but capable of that too on occasion.
Scott is Poet. Yes, I know people would assume he'd be King, but I think he's Poet, because he's the smooth talker. He's the social one. He makes alliances and sticks to them, he talks and bluffs himself out of many situations and often chooses to flee rather than fight if this doesn't work, unless he is confident he will be able to defeat the danger.
Pearl is King. She won her winning season all on her own, in a position of power and being feared, only to be betrayed by her closest confidants. She was willing to be brash, to use a mix of skills in Double Life especially, and I think she embodies the King role for me.
Have fun with this one! This would be good for a shorter, lower commitment idea, since it's a slightly shorter trend rather than a full song, but still difficult and time consuming(I know firsthand how difficult animating is. Spent months on a project only to hate it, WOOP FUCKING WOOP)
