The beginning of the end of a new beginning
I am at a mind block / boggle / explosion / melt-down. I am nearing the end of my 5th semester in the graphic design program. 3 more semesters! Can I do it?
I have been back and forth, do I try to finish in 3 semesters along with the 3 jobs, a mortgage, a car payment, tuition, maybe some food here and there, etc? :oP
I worked really hard to get this far. Especially in the first 4 semesters because we weren't really in the graphic design program until we submitted our portfolio for review in our 4th semester. You get 1 of 3 answers after they review it.
Yes! You are in! (yay! sigh of relief. I can sleep now. whew!)
No, this isn't the program for you. (Go to jail, no get-out-of-jail-free card. Go to advertising or fine arts or something off the wall like botany.)
Mmmaybe, re-do your work through our summer portfolio development class and resubmit it before fall semester starts. (You run the 50/50 risk of getting a Yes or a No. Do I spend the money for summer school to still get the chance of getting rejected?)
Anyway, I worked my ass off! I didn't want to pay for 2 years of school and get the latter 2 answers. I would be sizzling like an egg on the sidewalk on an insanely hot Oklahoma afternoon!
Why? Not only because it is not a "yes", but because I CHOSE to go back to school. I already have a degree in Zoology. Didn't do anything with it, became very miserable at work and went through my quarter life crisis. I was trying really hard to be a single-working-woman: got myself a house, a car, and was working a decent job in a non-zoology related field. It was upsetting that I had a job that honestly didn't require a college degree. I probably made a dollar or 2 more because of it, but damn...when I saw my first W-2, I was heartbroken and could have cried for days if I dwelled on it. I made next to crap money for my honest hard work that was always under appreciated or often praised in a patronizing fashion.
It took one situation at that job for me to flip the switch. This 60-something-year-old woman was making 2-3x the money I was and didn't even know how to use the multi-line phone! She didn't even know how to answer it! Excuse my valley girl moment, but O-M-G! No more details, but I was obviously mad! or maybe my boss was mad for paying her that much. I don't know and i don't care.
While going through a quarter-life-crisis, a person reflects on their life.
How did I get into this auto-pilot mode of life?
You begin to dig into your mind and unveil the dreams and hopes you had. Under all the responsibilities and social stigmas of what and where you should be, your happiness gets buried.
I realized that I was doing what I thought everyone wanted me to do. I went back to the days right before I declared my major my first time going into college. I was torn between graphic design and the medical field. I thought I wanted to help people and be a doctor. I learned that I don't want to be a doctor after working for many other doctors, and became stuck at my monotonous job.
On April 1st, 2011 (no joke), I applied for graphic design at the University of Central Oklahoma. It was the scariest but best thing I've ever done. After much research, it was THE place to go for a graphic design education in Oklahoma. It is a smaller university, but they are the only NASAD (National Association of Schools of Art & Design) accredited design program in Oklahoma. So, now I am helping people create better design....rather than prescribing them nothing for their pink eye.
The best part of this journey is the feeling that I am where I am supposed to be because it is where I feel at home and not where I think I should be because of other people or society. The next best thing is that the people around me support me in my new direction in life. They were actually surprised I didn't go this way in the first place. It's never too late. I'm happy I made this decision.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
