part-time grass toucher

just a gal who refuses to admit she's 22 and writes too much poetry and reads too much ff for her own good lol also known as o0DreamsHiraeth0o on ao3!

[4veslil]

if you’re wondering why i haven’t updated:

i’m in a relationship that mirrors what i once wrote about in love stories.

i met a man who fulfils the yearning i depicted for men living on the page.

And no words i write could summarise this feeling.

i am utterly and dangerously in love and i cannot fathom another being in my head unless it’s him.

[4veslil]

‘The Time Traveller’s Guide To Medieval England’ & Memories That Linger

I was thinking of the past today and how the memories of friendships and relationships that ended sour have changed with hindsight.

Then I picked out this book to read on my commute to work and found an old line I’d highlighted.

“It does not make the facts less true to put them in the present tense rather than the past”

And so, my questions were answered in this weird and coincidental way that felt fated.

I could still recall memories with people that broke my heart, but it doesn’t take away from the fact they once made me happy.

I can still hurt from what they did, but those memories ache because I loved them.

That will remain true in past and present tense.

I cherished them because I loved them.

It will hurt to admit but doesn’t make it less of a fact.

[originalaowrytheian]

Should I be concerned that one of the only characters I've never struggled writing dialog for is my villain... 👀

[4veslil]

I vicariously live through my villains… just sayin’

[4veslil]

Of course the temptation to write hits me at work and I don’t finish until 3pm… it’s 8:30am

my WIP deserves more than part time treatment.

[4veslil]

Day 6: Drawing with my own references/photos to learn anatomy!

I’m trying to draw with elements I like from other artists to gather an art style. The eyes I sorta figured out on my own and the noses from this one drawing I saw and then lips from art tutorials I was doing and it sorta stuck :)

[4veslil]

POV: You Update Your Ao3 Fic

*Uploads a chapter after 2 weeks*

Me: Omg someone commented already!

*It’s a bot offering art commissions*

Me:

getting me hopes up for nothing ;-;

[4veslil]

Don’t tell me you understand my pain if you weren’t reading manga or watching anime before The Great Shift (2020)

Since 2014 I was in the trenches defending anime and hiding my love for it like it was state secrets.

#neverforget

[4veslil]

My Kind Of Love | Poem # 2

i forgot my capacity for love

i forgot how full my heart can be

how much i loved learning of others

how i’d mourn when they’d leave

i forgot counting wrinkles on their faces

and crinkles when they smiled

i forgot how many hugs i’d give

to hear their laugh after a while

i forgot how simple it used to be

how i brewed my simple pleasures

i forgot about those who held my heart

and those who are my treasures

i forgot i’m still surrounded by love

even if i rarely receive it in return

i forgot that love doesn’t have conditions

and where there’s love there is hurt

i forgot it can’t always be seen

and some don’t know how to express

i forgot that not all love looks the same

i forgot that love is a sparkling, golden mess

i forgot my capacity for love

how full my heart can be

i forgot pain is not forever

and love always surrounds me

[4veslil]

Sketches of the day where I used references off Pinterest and my own photos. It was sooooo fun!

I know the proportions are off on the next one but that’s the whole point. I drew a sketch without references and her head was so much bigger than her body. Idk but reminded me of mitski when she says ‘tall child’ and imagined a woman’s head on a girl’s body and the neck couldn’t even hold it up.

[4veslil]

I Doubt We Will - Poem #1

This one is a direct transcript of an improvised poem on VN and is a bit close to home so hold my heart with care x

When you want me back,

and I doubt that you will.

But, when you want me back

I will tell you this.

I've forgotten the sound of your voice,

and your eyes when you smiled.

I’d forgotten how your hair curled,

how your hands moved after a while.

I'd forgotten what you said,

the vague memories and words.

Like a canvas repainted over layers of hurt.

And when you come back,

although I doubt you will.

I will sit there and say: ‘well,

it's been more than a minute’.

What were you thinking until now?

Of your life without me in it?

I will sit silent with folded hands,

trying to recall what I saw in this man.

How did I fall in love?

I didn't fall in love with you.

I fell in love with you made me-

what you reminded me I could do.

You brought out a light in me,

reminding me it was mine all along.

So I won’t wince to those tunes,

or think they’re our song.

I'll simply enjoy the bass,

tapping along to the beat.

I'll forget about you and say-

next time that we meet.

‘That I fell in love with me,

with the love you planted, but I grew’.

So when you want me back

I’ll say: ‘now… I don’t want you’.

[tokkibean]

i just thought of inside jokes for my characters and i feel like a god

[4veslil]

genius

[4veslil]

So, you just trace basically.

no, i don’t, that’s boring and a bit sad

and aren’t you brave asking anonymously :)

[akwardsilince]

Person A: "It seems like fate is in our favour. We meet again."

Person B: "Your favour. Fate is fucking me over."

[4veslil]

My OC rn

[4veslil]

Welcome to the Sketchbook of an AuDHD Adult

So I can draw, I just never bothered to actually learn to draw. Now here I am, trying my best.

Manhwa really has me in a chokehold right now so bare with

I LOVE THIS QUICK SKETCH

[4veslil]

I am one paragraph away from finishing a chapter and suddenly my adhd is going brrrrrr

[4veslil]

Pretty proud of this, for the first time I’m proud of something I drew on procreate… what a day haha

[4veslil]

TLBU | Jasper Hale | Update ~ Chapter 19

OMG I’ve nearly finished Chapter 19, we’re on a roll guys, should have the next update done by tomorrow AHHHHHHHH

It’s gonna be a decently sized chapter so a lot of editing but I’m really proud of it and I know you guys will love it 🙂‍↔️

@frogsandhomicidalducks @daze-stole-ur-milk @writhingg @caityrayeraye @decadentenemyblizzard thought you’d want the update :)