Sanne

[saltwater-stranded]

seal in a bubble bath

source

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[makingtrouble]

This is getting notes so let me just say

Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝

[importantcatpics]

[chihuahuagirlfriend]

You know her ass saying 3333333333333333333

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[lopkelepke]

[hozierswift]

clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in

[penandinkprincess]

parenting commitment level 3000

[penandinkprincess]

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

[starsarefairylightsfornerds]

[aqueerkettleofish]

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

[kosmogrl]

[bruzum]

[moffpup]

it's keep your wits about you wednesday

[fer1972]

Portrait of a small boy reading by Gluyas Williams

[herpsandbirds]

Cloven-feathered Dove (Drepanoptila holosericea), family Columbidae, endemic to New Caledonia

photograph by Lev Frid

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[dankomaksimovic]

ph. Danko Maksimovic - Wuppertal, Germany (2026)

Film: Kodak Gold 200

[sapropel]

Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️

[sapropel]

HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

[yenthecat]

CRINKLE PAPER MUCH EXCITEMENT

[valtsv]

"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him