God’s Most Pathetic Vampire

I just got here and I don’t know what I’m doing.

[lizardsfromspace]

Out of control Edwardian youths refuse to clap at production of Peter Pan, force distraught J.M Barrie to pull out rarely seen "Tinkerbell Fucking Dies" ending

[gardengnosticator]

harrow choking back tears: you could never understand my burden! i am the sum weight of 200 innocent lives!

ianthe: oh come on harry don’t be silly. it’s 201 now anyway.

[mjrtaurus]

I love how the Elder Scrolls series had a race of hive-minded steampunk elves that were so aggressively anti-theistic that they built a synthetic god to act as an existential negative integer to all creation just to test the hypothesis that it could be cancelled out. But upon powering this synthetic god on, the inherent illogic and irrationality of apotheosis spread through the hive-mind like an atomic blast wave, and these elves who based their entire worldview in logic and rationality could no longer justify their own existence, and so they cancelled themselves out of the universal equation, in part proving their hypothesis in the process.

[57checkeredcrows]

I know there’s a word for people who want to fuck objects but what if I want to be the object getting fucked.

[fanonical]

i am genuinely so curious as to what went into the skyrim design choice that, when enemies are low health, they beg for their lives…but if you leave them, they just get straight back up again and start killing you

[57checkeredcrows]

Oh to be a giant robot and have a little mechanic butch do maintenance on you. Like god yes girl, please fix whatever’s wrong with me.

[theeelfinnstolemypeanits]

[koepek]

new job

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Low-key hilarious how 95% of Dragonborn end up with a Hoard. Absolutely peak intersection of narrative and game design. You consume ONE dragon soul and next thing you know you’ve got 175 wheels of cheese. You learn like 3 whole words in Draconic and you’ve got poor Lydia pack-muling candelabras across the fjords. I personally mostly Hoarded precious metals and gems, but I’ve seen people who Hoarded books and pelts and, like…there is No mechanical reward for this. Players just love to Hoard shit in that game. Absolute Dragon behavior.

[rabbitkinglune777]

900 COMBAT GRL-EVIL

[rabbitkinglune777]

trans girls deserve to kick Nazi ass

[zhakaron]

I lied: I know everything about this

[alm-of-lexia]

i dont even want TES 6 anymore. its going to be a generational disappointment that will cost at least 50 dollars, wont be available in physical disk form and be one billion terabytes for the privilege of a fishing minigame that doesnt work and ten fewer skills than skyrim offered us.

[poorlythoughtoutdescisions]

only learning how to cook so she can murder someone via soup is such an insane choice I love harrow

[sleepdeprivedmint]

Medical officer on a mechsplo ship: “Honestly? I have no clue how the hell this happened. I mean really, how did it even get lead poisoning?”

The handler’s suspiciously drool covered firearm:

[cyberglittter]

anai akuei

[headspace-hotel]

I’ve been reading about werewolves on Wikipedia and I just have to say. “Werewolves are warriors that descend into hell to fight demons” kicks unbelievable amounts of ass as a concept

[rabbitkinglune777]

cooking (ft Hitomi being badass)

[rabbitkinglune777]

shes so cool