Do Not Go Far From Me @5starnaptaker - Tumblr Blog

When is it sexist? - A Handy Chart

My favorite moment when playing FFXIV for the first time was seeing the men in the same ridiculous subligars as the women.

perquisitemagnate

In order:

World of Warcraft

Dark Souls

Final Fantasy XIV

azothelement-deactivated2019010

Seriously, Dark Souls is so good about this, I accidentally became female and didn’t even know about it until I was changing my gear.

dracophile

Sorry, that last bit is funny to me because I’m just imagining this knight changing and looking at a pair of breasts like “…Those are new.”

snapfoo

THE LAST COMMENT KILLED ME

pcare-o-dactyl

justanotherdmdammit

kandimouse

to those of you who are moving here from tiktok, from someone whos used both tiktok and tumbr for years...

1. DO NOT censor your posts

dont censor sex, abuse, suicide, dont censor it. we dont have censors like tiktok does, you wont be banned for talking about these things and tagging them properly helps people avoid them (also, we dont have shadowbanning here)

2. we dont really have an algorithm

you follow who you follow, and you see posts from who you follow or what you search. the 'for you page' is basically useless here. this also brings me to my next two points

3. dont crosstag

we get it, on tiktok you have to crosstag for reach, but thats not really a thing here. just tag your posts properly (also posters often leave more info about the post in the tags!! and when you reblog stuff you can leave your own notes in the tags, kind of like the old "repost comments" on tiktok)

4. dont expect to go viral/be famous

"viral" isnt really a thing on here (at least not for the average blogger). your posts will probably get 2-10 likes and you wont get nearly as many followers than on tiktok. thats just how tumblr is

5. blocking is your best friend

tiktok is VERY discussion based, and while tumblr is much more discussion based than other social medias, its still not a good place for ragebait/discourse. dont interact, itll make your experience worse in the end, just block and move on

6. you cant go into someone elses house and start rearranging their furniture

this is tumblr, not tiktok. dont diss old tumblr users for how they use the site or try to change them, thats like going into someone elses house and trying to rearrange their furniture. we've been here longer and we're familiar with the site and its culture, either find your niche, adapt, or find a different app

goingknowherewastaken

Another important point

You need to actually reblog posts for this site to work as it should.

Liking posts only saves them in a spot that no one checks except for the user who liked them. Most people have their liked posts hidden.

Also, this site has a spam bot problem. One way we weed those out is to check the blog to see if it's actually being used to post legitimate content. If there is absolutely nothing on your blog you're getting blocked and some users may just straight up report you as spam as a precaution.

Not to mention that the posts you reblog will only be seen by you and whoever follows you. Tagging it "fyp" does absolutely nothing.

5starnaptaker

*inhales cigarette* I’m back in the fucking building again. Anyone IRL from the old days who sees this that isn’t Bexs, fuck you I hate you, yall were shit to me. I’ve blocked most of you chuckle fucks but the few I haven’t, you are also included. But I need somewhere to be gay and deranged so here we are

lectern-fullcauldron

ok so since it's just occurred to me that the fandom is constantly growing and changing and learning, there's some bits of hermit backstory that I know that others might not. hermitfacts coming up:

the server was built as an equal mix of builders and redstoners (and then Joe Hills was added as a WILDCARD to shake things up)

season two only happened because Joe Hills ran a coup

tango is the father of the iron farm, before 1.14 made iron farms easy, your best bet was to ask tango. tango also modded villagers before the villager update

etho invented the etho hopper clock, revolutionised the minecraft let's play, and inspired a lot of the server to play/film

impulse is the guy behind the item sorter, and he is a master of villager manipulation, with his villager breeder being in massive use

bdubs' brother, pungence, joined hermitcraft before he did and played for season one

iskall is behind the vault hunters mod and it's really cool and you should check it out

the way cub built concorp inspired Mojang to update the way villagers work

doc is friends with the Mojang game Devs (even if they took his arm)

Hypno runs the hermitcraft website, even when he's not active on the server

Welsknight came in to defend the others in a rap battle when he was away from the server

Stress runs a fitness channel alongside her Minecraft channel and being a parent

Joe hills used to have a webcomic and do drawing streams - he saw twitch be born, and will likely see twitch die

Scar got his start in call of duty

Joe Hills thought hermitcraft was a scam when he was invited

add your own!

shanastoryteller

when I was very young my mother told me "they're going to try and teach you that we came from monkeys but that's not true and you shouldn't listen to them because we were made from god" and she was my mom and I was like 7, so I pretty much just went "okay, noted, anyway"

anyway like 2 years later evolution comes up in class and one of my classmates goes "is this the we evolved from monkeys thing?"

and I'm on Red Alert. this is what my mom told me about!

the teacher replies, "well, we share a common ancestor, but we didn't evolve directly from apes. if you go back way before apes or people existed, you'll find a different third thing we both came from. we know this because of things like fossils"

and I was like whoo! dodged a bullet there, good thing my 4th grade science class isn't trying to teach us we came from monkeys and instead figured stuff out using fossils and taught us that instead :)

Instructions Unclear, Ended Up Believing In Evolution Anyway

gay-irl

wizardpotions

theres no way im letting you losers enjoy your antisemitism simulator.

#hogwarts #hogwarts legacy #hogwartslegacy #harry potter #harrypotter #harrypotterhogwartslegacy #slytherin #Gryfindor #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #jk rowling #hogwarts video game

gay-irl

wizardpotions

theres no way im letting you losers enjoy your antisemitism simulator.

afloweroutofstone

Taliban’s media division is now paying Twitter for verification

mini-wrants

Praying for this outcome, @senatortedcruz.

psych-is-the-name

just asked a family member who's an attorney. this isnt just "doing business" with the taliban, since they paid Elon $8 he's now guilty of accepting funding from a recognized terrorist organization.

this is one of the most illegal acts recognized in the US

bemusedlybespectacled

I have zero idea if this is accurate legal information or not because it’s not my area of law (the only law I'm sure of is that you can’t give money to terrorist orgs, I don’t know about accepting it) but I am reblogging this because it is, if true, insanely funny. My instinct is to say that the US government isn’t going to prosecute Elon fucking Musk over $8 in Taliban money, but like... likes to charge, reblogs to cast.

biglawbear

I did brief work in sanctions law. You can't accept terrorist money either. He could totally be prosecuted. I desperately hope he is cuz that would be so fucking funny. Please, Attorney General Merrick Garland, if you're reading this,

meladoodle

my friend angella was doing a comedy gig, and as soon as she came out a guy shouted ‘can i give you my number?’ and all the crowd groaned cause it was so inappropriate but angella was like ‘yeah sure’. the guy started shouting out his number and she started entering it into her phone. the whole crowd was like woaaah. she got the whole number and then dialled it and it rang. everyone lost their shit. finally the guy answered and angella just said “hello? shut the fuck up” and it was the most incredible thing i’ve ever seen

alex-plante

So some of these details are probably wrong, it happened a long time ago so I don’t remember the specifics leading up, but it was incredible. A friend of mine who does stand up was doing his bit at open mic one night, and a guy was heckling him. Just being a total asshole, and then his phone rang and he started talking loudly on his phone about how he’s at open mic and this guy isn’t funny, etc. Now the weird thing about hecklers is that they just want to be a part of something most of the time, so my friend said, “hey man, what’s your name? Can I see your phone for a second?”

The guy actually handed over his phone, and my friend hung up, and scrolled through his contact list until he found the person he was looking for. He hit dial, and starts.

“Hello? Is this [Name’s] mom? Great! It’s very nice to talk to you. I’m a comedian in the middle of my standup routine, and your son is being very rude, [lists off some of the things her son said]…. hold on, can I get you to repeat that?”

He takes the phone away, puts it in speakerphone and holds it up to the mic.

“I said, I’m sorry my son is being such an asshole.”

Everyone lost it. Fuckin’ destroyed by his own mother. My friend said it was one of his proudest moments ever.

thegildedcentury

Please stop following my blog, sexy ladies. I understand that you are all extremely horny, but even if I wasn’t already very busy, I couldn’t possibly give all of you the attention you deserve, and your energies are better spent elsewhere. I wish all of you luck in satisfying your rapacious sexual appetites.

nancywheeeler

i love that specific ao3 phenomenon where you get a sudden influx of kudos on a work and it’s clear someone shared your fic but you have no idea who they are or where they shared it. it’s like being a dickensian orphan receiving money from a mysterious benefactor.

powerfulkicks

yeah we put your boyfr- oh she transitioned? good for her! so anyway we put your girlfriend in the fucking slop sorry

chamacafeahorrible

getting into the shower: evil evil evil

being in the shower: there is no past and there is no future, there is just the here and now, i am alone but i am not lonely, i am calm and one with the universe, existence is sublime

getting out of the shower: evil evil evil (wet version)

aangarchy

I love how Zuko's perception of the gaang must have done a complete 360 after joining them like

Zuko, before joining: this is a group of extremely skilled benders, i must be prepared for any possible situation when i run into them

Zuko, right after joining: wait a minute these aren't trained warriors they're bunch of goofy kids that have somehow survived without adult supervision all this time, i shouldn't have been so worried

Zuko, seeing Katara bloodbend: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what-

rorytelling

A Statistics teacher in Gotham makes a graph comparing times when Bruce Wayne goes on long vacations with times Batman gets beaten up really badly by villains to illustrate to his class how correlation does not equal causation.

kira-sucks-lawlipops

Imagine Dick Greyson as a uni student in that lecture, loosing his goddamn mind.

theyellowbrickroad

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

astriiformes

My sister was telling me that she and her girlfriend went on a ghost tour for their anniversary, and at one point the tour guide mentioned there was a spooky haunted doll down inside a vent but phone flashlights usually weren't powerful enough to see it, so my sister whipped out the industrial-strength flashlight she carries in her purse at all times and the guide exclaimed "Oh! We should have lesbians on every tour!"