Taste the World of Salt

I came out to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

[gremlininho]

[sycamorality]

i think you should post about rain world again you're boring as fuck dude

?????

[sycamorality]

i named the wolf your ask

[sycamorality]

[plumbewb]

hear me out…

[punkrock-bottom]

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

[lazydelusions]

[peachdoxie]

[kingscrown666]

I mean? Yeah? Gantu is obviously conventionally attractive

Deep voice, big muscles, Tall

Like. What am i missing here?

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

honey he has a fish for a head

[kingscrown666]

So what, all of a sudden mermaids aren't hot?

[1five1two]

[decadent-hag]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[torstherapy]

[chirasul]

we got a full redbox and now we're playing go fish with the redbox movies

[chirasul]

I would never pay money for a redbox. if you ask politely and are very very persistent (i.e. annoying) they will let you take it away

here's my dad and i taking it away

a redbox makes a wonderful addition to your patio

[fishmech]

for those wondering why they're free to take now, it's because the company that made those "chicken soup for the soul" books bought them a few years ago and then completely collapsed so bad they couldn't afford to dispose of or even take the blu rays and dvds out of their kiosks all over.

so any of them is free game because they're all located on other business' property and they usually don't want to have to pay to get rid of them either. so asking the store manager usually gets you the ok to pull it out and keep it.

[chirasul]

there was a period of time right after their bankruptcy where you could put in any debit or credit card and it would spit out movies without charging you. you could even put in like an expired or deactivated card, or a visa gift card with a $0 balance, didnt matter, they'd just start spitting discs out. a lotta people raided redboxes for movies for a couple months, with some people doing what me and my brother and my dad did here, taking the whole box and signs and marquees as well. because managers sure as hell don't want a big abandoned piece of trash on their sidewalk disappointing customers. BUT they're also often too cheap to pay someone to remove it. so they just sit there.

luckily there are no shortage of freaks like us who will just take them away on our own volition. we did it all "by the book", too: we set up cones and caution tape, disconnected electricity properly, used an angle grinder to grind down the bolts in the concrete so nobody would trip on them, then cleaned everything up afterward and sealed off the electrical panel so the store would know everything is safe and tidy. though they were hesitant when we were first contacting them, they were honestly very relieved and grateful when we finally took it away, especially once they saw that we "knew what we were doing" (we don't) and look like we've "done this before" (we haven't).

the fun part: the reason why this redbox, in particular, was completely full and unraided is because the computer hardware inside had failed some months before the bankruptcy, and a failing company sure as hell wasn't gonna send a tech out to our podunk dipshit city to fix it, so it was impossible to rent movies or take any discs out. plus, for who knows how long, people were returning old redbox discs to this machine and not taking any out, leading to a much higher variety of movies than your average redbox.

there is a thriving community of redbox hackers and modders out there, as well, creating open-source software for repurposing the machines and not letting their very interesting and robust disc-management hardware go to waste. this one belongs to my brother (who was very annoying persistent and did all the legwork of contacting managers and securing permission) who is a programmer by trade and will be hacking it into a family-access movie library, with whatever discs we want. i mean the machine is completely weatherproof and has a built-in AC unit, it would be such a waste to not try to turn it into something cool.

if we get another one, i'm gonna try to mod it into some sort of art or zine vending machine. the disc boxes are just the right size for small print art or stickers. would make a great "little free library" too.

remember: the rules are made up. act like you belong there and you can get away with anything. this applies to your own life

[electricpurrs]

[t00thpasteface]

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

[pangur-and-grim]

what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas

[pangur-and-grim]

there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much

[pangur-and-grim]

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[serenity-bitty]

reminds me of

the shellfish allergy NO NO FUCKING S HRIMP OR HE D IE post

[p1netre3s]

reminded me of this

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

Starting a collection

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[home-and-having-tea]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

BJ has a very clear understanding of Objectives unfortunately he lacks that level of comprehension when it comes to tactics methods procedures etc. Thus: his Behaviors.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

[chemicalcain]

this is the single best description i have ever heard for a cat

[ariadne-mouse]

he is Calculating

[kineticpenguin]

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

[kineticpenguin]

I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.

"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."

[kineticpenguin]

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

[onion-souls]

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

[phaeton-flier]

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

[haydenthewitch]

my favorite thing about the "guy fieari doesn't swallow" controversy is that in every video i've seen on it there's someone in the comments going "actualy we were featured in diners drive in and dive episode 342 and he came to our restaurant and he definitely ate our food on and off camera like he cleared the plate and he's a really chill dude actualy" and it's like. does guy fieari know that he has a loyal army across America defending him AS WE SPEAK against the stupidest conspiracy theory i've ever heard of

[foodnetwork-fandom]

guy fieri doesn’t what now?

[linolinoing]

guys pls don't die from the heat i love playing tumblr with you

[plaguedocboi]

I miss my leeches for all the normal pet reasons but I also miss being able to use them as a one-hit death blow to end stupid conversations. Whenever I defend the ecological importance of parasites someone will inevitably crawl up and go “well I bet you wouldn’t feel that way if you had them” and oooooo boy let me tell you. It was so fun to hit back with “I DO” and then whip out my phone and show them 30 pictures of my fucking Worms

[tobi-the-minnow]

What were your leeches named?? Please i need to know please please tell me about your leeches oh my god

[plaguedocboi]

Wormitha, Burrito, Chungus, Chocolate Chip and Squish Baby. I collectively called them The Squish Squad