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jude | she/her | vent blog | csa victim

[weltenwellen]

Rainer Maria Rilke, Journal of My Other Self

[888angelic]

hellooo! it’s been a bit! hope you’re all well :) using this account less has been a great choice for me and is actually making me feel better in a major way. i don’t regret the time i spent on this account (if it wasn’t for this community i still wouldn’t even know what happened to me was csa) but i really doubt it’ll ever be healthy for me to be on here. once again, if you’re interested in staying in touch and want to follow my personal blog please pm me! we don’t need to be mutuals or have talked before or anything, i’m just not posting it here for privacy reasons because i go by a fake name here and my real name on my main. alright that’s it, please have a good day/night and stay safe everyone <3

[888angelic]

hey guys :) sorry i haven’t been on here much as of late. i know it sounds basic and empty but i’m trying to get better lately, which is important for me because i’ve spent a long time letting myself feel sick because it’s all i know and i feel comfortable with it, and despite the fact that i’m trying to make progress, that’s still true. but even if i feel comfortable surrounding myself with things that make me feel worse, i don’t feel happy, and i want to have a good life, and i want to like being alive in general. i don’t think this account is very helpful because it just lets me surround myself with more things that remind me of my mental illnesses, and him, and how terrible i already feel. i’ll probably still be here occasionally but i need to stop being on here so often, basically. if any of you want to stay in contact please feel free to pm me and i’ll send you my personal blog, i would just link it here but i use a fake name here and my other blog has my real name on it. alright, that’s it i think, i love you all and i hope you’re doing well <3

[nxcroflesh]

[podencos]

On Finding the Freedom to Rage Against Our Fathers, Minda Honey

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Mahmoud Darwish, from Almond Blossom & Beyond: Poems; “Happy, I Know Not Why,”

[liz-cat-meow-deactivated2020011]

[112196355]

December 3rd/December 12th

[delusional--angel]

[wishbzne-deactivated20210526]

“I will not slip into the black flood of time. I will save myself.”

— Meena Alexander, from Grandmother’s Letters

[r-siken-deactivated20210531]

wishbone, richard siken

[kafk-a]

autopsy, donte collins

[wishbzne-deactivated20210526]

anne carson, ‘lines’

[ID: “How long will it feel like burning,” end ID]

[dogmotifs]

before this format is completely dead, ever thought the 5 love languages were wack? me too! so i took it upon myself to reinvent that shit. now i proudly present to you the 5 new and improved love languages, take this quiz to find out where u stand.

[woundedseraphim]

i feel like online csa can be difficult to deal with because it can feel like it isnt “really” csa. however, csa that takes place exclusively online is absolutely still considered csa. it also isnt exclusively sending nudes as many things can constitute online csa including

sending pornographic images

talking over text or voice chat about sex

sexual roleplaying

grooming

and any other forms of inappropriate sexual interaction with adults

if you are a victim of csa that took place online your experiences are still bad and valid. if youre upset, hurt, or traumatized by what happened to you then you arent overreacting. online csa does just as much damage as any other forms of it and absolutely can be traumatizing. you deserve help, healing, and support just like any other survivor

[gloseur]

Selections from Jenny Holzer, from ‘Lustmond’ collaboration

[888angelic]

lately, i honestly want to get better so badly, which sounds like kind of an obvious thing, but i’ve spent a long time purposefully triggering myself and wallowing just for the sake of feeling literally anything at all. but i don’t know how to recover at all. i don’t even have a clue. i worry that it’s too late now for me to get out of the hole i’ve spent so long digging myself into.