Mr. Evans II- Chris Evans AU
Teacher!Chris Evans x Student!Reader
Warnings: SMUT. Angst. Infidelity. Forbidden love.
Disclaimers: I donât condone relationships of this kind, this is for entertainment purposes only.
âOh for fuckâs sake.â Your hands tremble as you stare down at the small card in your hands.Â
Your presence is kindly requested at the wedding of Y/f/n Y/f/l/n and Kennedy Capuano
You inhale sharply, putting it aside with shaky fingers, unable to look at the tacky floral design of the shiny exterior any longer.Â
âYour presence is kindly requested at the wedding of Y/f/n-â you cut yourself off with a roughish, humorless scoff-laugh, barely able to keep a lid on your anger.Â
âIs he fucking serious right now?â Despite your greatest efforts, your voice trembles with raw outrage and you run your fingers through your hair, licking your lips frustratingly.Â
A habit you wished youâd never picked up from your time with him because it reminded you of him every goddamn time you did it and the thing was, you did it anytime you were upset. And thinking of him every time you were upsetâŚit wasnât helpful.Â
âThis is bullshit,â you huff under your breath, screwing your eyes shut and pinching the bridge of your nose to keep the onslaught of tears currently prickling the backs of your eyes. âFucking bullshit.â
You didnât know what hurt more, the fact that your own goddamn father didnât have the basic human decency to give this to you himself or the fact that he was getting married at all.Â
Everything about it was wrong. The fact that you didnât even know he had met someone new, most of all. Was a phone call that fucking hard?Â
Granted, the last time you had talked things didnât end too well.Â
Heâd been endlessly complaining about you leaving and how you were âabandoning himâ. When youâd used that (completely rational) âIâm eighteen now and can do as I pleaseâ card with him, heâd screamed even louder. So you started screaming back and his screams only got louder from there, so yours did too until eventually, you were just screaming so loud, it blocked out any rationale in your argument.Â
You just said fuck it, picked up your stuff, your momâs journal and left because you were so fucking done honestly.Â
You thought youâd be free of everything in that little town if you just picked up and moved.Â
But here it was. Here it was.Â
This fucking card. This fucking invitation to a wedding you shouldâve been a part of from the very fucking beginning but werenât. As to whose fault that was? Honestly, you gave up trying to figure that out the moment you stepped foot outside of your town. It wasnât your responsibility to decipher the complex depths of your relationship with your father anymore. And of course, you tried avoiding thinking about him as much as possible.
It was time to look forward, not back. Looking back meant letting yourself sink and you sure as hell were not a goddamn sinker.Â
Because when you sunk, your instinct was to claw your way to the surface as hard as you could. You clawed and clawed, hoping you could eventually feel the warmth of the sun on your skin again.Â
Hoping, clawing, hoping, clawingâŚit was a vicious cycle but the truth was, the water was too much, too strong, too overwhelming, too consumingâ itâd swallow you whole inevitably. So no matter how hard you fought, clawed, hoped⌠itâd gobble you into its dark abyss.Â
Eventually, youâd tire out. your muscles would ache with the weight of your hope resting so heavily on your shoulders and youâd give out. The water was infinitely insistent though, it never ceased to tug and each time, itâd get stronger and stronger.Â
You decided to stay away from the water altogether. No sense in getting close to something so dangerous. The last time you dipped your toes inâŚlook what it got you.
But nowâŚthe water was beckoning, calling you its depths.Â
Margo twirls the card in her fingers, humming pensively. âAnd youâre not even a little tempted to go?â
âNope,â your matter-of-fact response is muffled through your mouthful of cereal, as you perch another sock-clad foot on the stool youâre seated on.
Margo, looks at you, deadpanning. âY/n, heâs your dad,â she starts and you already know where this is going.Â
You quickly swallow your mouthful of cereal, shaking your head. âDoesnât mean I have to go to his wedding with whatâs-her-face.â
âKennedy,â she corrects.
You roll your eyes. âWhatever. Point is, I could care less about his stupid wedding and Kennedy and I sure as hell have no burning desire to go back to that stupid little town.â
âWhy?â she blurts suddenly.Â
You look up at her incredulously. âWhat do you mean why?âÂ
She raises a brow. âNo seriously. Why? You keep saying itâs because it didnât let you reach your full potential but why do I get the feeling thereâs more to it than just that?â she peers carefully at your face.
You never could keep anything from her.
Looking down, you pretend to be interested in your fuzzy Christmas-themed socks because you canât face her right now, petrified that sheâs going to pry the truth out of you. That sheâll eventually know the real reason you left.Â
So you do what you do best; you deflect. âI was just tired of it. Tired of all the superficial gossip and small-minded people that lived there, you know?â you shrug, looking at her with a small smirk. âAnd youâre going to tell me you donât agree?â
She sighs, trying (and failing) to conceal a small grin tugging at her lips. âNo, Iâm not. But- I mean câmon, Y/n! You seriously donât want to see your dad get married?â
You think about it, your resolve faltering in the slightest because despite wanting to be selfish like heâs been, despite wanting so badly to be able to say âI donât careâ with all certainty, you canât. You fucking canât, because just the thought of your dad possibly being happyâit warmed your heart.Â
Because maybe heâs finally found someone that could fill that hole your motherâs death left. And you hated that.
âN-not really,â you hesitate only a little bit, but she notices. Of course she does. Sharp-eyed Margo, always on the hunt for the smallest tell-tale.
Snorting lightly, she takes a sip of her steaming mug of coffee. âYeah? Well doesnât sound like it, baby girl.âÂ
You look at her. âMargo,â you warn in a snarl.Â
âY/n,â she titters, smiling sweetly.Â
You huff, as of to say âyouâre impossibleâ before wordlessly taking another spoonful of cereal into your mouth.
Her face flattens out into a serious expression, lips pursing in understanding. âI know you left that stupid little town to leave behind your past, but itâs about time someone told you that thatâs pretty much impossible to do.â She waves her finger in your face jokingly. âItâll always come back~â she sing-songs.
The weight of the truth in her words hit you like a ton of bricks. Still, you swallow harshly and try really hard to keep your composure with a raised brow because you knew she was right and it irked more than you were willing to admit.Â
You walk over to the kitchen sink, throwing your empty bowl inside to wash later. Just as you go to pull back, Margo ceases your wrist.Â
Your eyes jump to hers instantly, brows furrowed. Her face is pulled into a tight expression; concern.Â
âIâm worried about you, b. Ever since you left youâve been weird. I just want to make sure youâre okay.â
You stare into her earnestly worried chocolate orbs for a second before breaking down. With a reassuring smile, you pat her arm.Â
âHey,â you mumble softly. âDonât worry about me. Iâll figure it out eventually.â You donât try to act like youâre okay, because you know she can see right through you and it would only hurt her more to see that you werenât willing to admit even just that.
She looks at you for a second longer, as if debating whether to say anything to you before ultimately deciding not to. She smiles softly. âOkay.â
You hold back the overwhelming urge to let your shoulders sag in relief and go to move away before she stops you again. âAnd Y/n?â
âAt least promise me youâll think about it. I know itâs been hard for you, but coming from someone whoâs seen what grudges can do to a person firsthand, you might want to at least consider it.âÂ
You open your mouth to answer hear but are interrupted by a pair of strong, tanned arms grabbing you from behind and picking you up with ease. He twirls you around, hugging you close to his chest. âI fucking missed you.â
You immediately recognize the smooth, masculine voice and the familiarity of it makes you smile.
You yelp, gripping onto his arms for dear life. âDaniel, for fuckâs sake put me down!âÂ
His arms tighten around you, nearly crushing you to death. âNever!â he declares dramatically.Â
Fits of laughter escape you as he puts you down. You clumsily stumble around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
âWhy are there two of you?â you slur slightly, dizzy from all the spinning.Â
His arms instinctively wrap around your waist as he pecks your nose. âWhy are there three of you?â
You both laugh, and he leans down to whisper. âNot that I mind, truthfully.âÂ
You snort, playfully shoving his face away. âYouâre so stupid.âÂ
He winks, sweeping a long strand of blond hair away from his face. âOnly for you, babe.âÂ
You go to retort something (letâs be truthful; probably as cheesy as him) when Margo interrupts with obnoxious and overly-dramatic gagging sounds.Â
You turn to look at her and she sighs, âyou guys are too cute. Itâs disgusting.âÂ
Daniel smacks your ass as you walk over to her. You yelp, glaring up at him as he winks at Margo smugly.Â
âDonât hate on us just âcause you canât get any, M,â he sing-songs.
Margo rolls her eyes, picking her keys off the kitchen counter. âI will have you know I get plenty, Addington,â she emphasizes the last name, smirking.Â
Margo had picked the nickname the moment she laid eyes on Daniel, a reference to the move Surfer, Dude with Matthew McConaughey.
Because Daniel was, in all respects of life, a typical surfer dude.Â
You couldnât help but snort, using your hand to hide it (very poorly, by the way).Â
Daniel turns to you, horrified. âHey! Arenât you supposed to be on my side, babe?â
You shrug at him, barely holding back a grin.Â
Margo shakes her head at you two, a small smile tugging at her lips. âK, well Iâm out bitches. See yaâ tomorrow.â She walks out of the apartment, closing the door behind her.Â
âGod, I hope not,â Daniel whispers under his breath.Â
You immediately smack him on the arm, glaring daggers into him. âDaniel!â
He grunts, rubbing at the sore spot on his arm furiously. âOw! What the hell, babe!? I was kidding!â
You smile with sickly sweetness, gripping his jaw in your hands firmly. âI sure hope so, because that girl is my best friend and I owe her a whole lot. I better not hear you talking about her like that again.âÂ
He rolls his eyes playfully, wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you closer to him. âI fucking love when you get all bossy, you know that? Youâre so hot.âÂ
You canât help it when a devious smirk slips out. âIs that so?â You whisper, leaning to barely kiss him. Teasing, as youâd come to find out later, was something you enjoyed far too much. It was especially so with Daniel.Â
His eyes grow dark and half-hooded with desire and you can already feel his hard-on pressing against your lower half. Â
âIt is,â he rasps, hands gently kneading at your hips.Â
You moan lowly, leaning in to kiss him, slow and heavy. He kissed back immediately, hands wrapping around your ass to lift you up. You wrap your legs around him to steady yourself, hands gripping his strong tan shoulders.Â
His hands find their way under your tank top and his fingers lightly trail over your stomach. You shiver under his watchful gaze, trying to get lost in his touch as it sneaks closer and closer to your breast.
âYouâre so fucking beautiful,â he breathes huskily against you, kissing your chin, then your jaw before trailing down to your neck where he kisses you roughly.Â
You try to make your body feel intoxicated with the mere brush of the pads of his fingers, rough from polishing boards all day, from being in salt water for too long. You try to get dizzy with the mere scent of his hair, which lightly smelt of saltwater and sweet shampoo, you try to get your heart to race with every caress of his hands on you, with every kiss he softly planted on your skin, but-
âStop,â you rasp breathlessly, shoving him away.
He doesnât stop though, only continues to kiss your neck. âWhy? You smell so fucking good, all I wanna do-â
âDaniel, stop. Seriously.â You shove him again, a little harder this time.
This time he stops, thank God. But heâs clearly pissed.Â
âWhy?â he insists, this time with more conviction than before.
You purse your lips, rubbing your arm nervously. âIâm just not ready yet,â you mumble sheepishly, feeling kind of bad about leaving him high and dry when he was so clearly, umâŚexcited.
Scoffing, he shakes his head. âThen when will you be ready, huh!? Weâve been together for a whole year now, for chrissake! You always do this to me, dammit. You always tease me and-â
âI know!â you yell. âFuck, I know, Daniel okay? I donât do it on fucking purpose, though. And Iâm not going to give up my virginity if Iâm not completely sure itâs what I want!â
He laughs humorlessly, stepping away from you as if youâve burnt him. âAre you sure itâs not on purpose?â
Your anger sizzles low in your stomach and you raise your brow challengingly at him. âThe hell is that supposed to mean?â
He purses his lips and shakes his head. âNothing. You know what? Forget it, Y/n.âÂ
You reach out for him, guilt squeezing at your heart. âDan-â you mumble softly.
He evades your touch, glaring at you. âI just need some air,â he mumbles, stalking away.Â
He walks straight out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.Â
You jump at the sound, sighing tiredly.Â
You hated to admit it, but he was right. Youâd been together for a little over a year but every time you tried to have sex, you just couldnât go through with it.Â
Something about it just didnât feel right.Â
Daniel was nice enough, tall blonde and hot in that sun-kissed surfer dude kind of way. Plus he was charming and fun.Â
 And yet- funny phrase isnât it? It implies that even though everything about someone may be everything you should want, itâs still not what you want.Â
Heâs virtually perfect and yet, you havenât been able to fall in love with him. Havenât been able to feel what he made you feel. Not even a little bit.Â
Because fuck, thatâs what it all came down to isnât it?Â
Daniel just wasnât him. His touch was nice, but it wasnât his. His personality was warm and friendly, but it wasnât his.
He wasnât Christopher Robert fucking Evans.Â
And you hated yourself for comparing everything Daniel did to him. Detested yourself for thinking that his kiss could never heat your skin the way his did. That his gaze could never have the power over your very being that his did.
You absolutely abhorred yourself for not being able to forget him, not being able to erase his mark on your heart, no matter how hard youâd been fighting against it. How hard you continued to fight against it.
You constantly had to remind yourself that it wasnât okay to keep holding onto the past. Every day, for the last two years, youâve had to remind yourself that you chose this. That even if it was what was supposed to happen, you didnât have a right to want more than you got. That moving on with your life was what was for the best.Â
So then why didnât it feel like it?
You had hope, though. You believed that if you wanted to love Daniel enough, you eventually would. You just needed time.Â
More time and youâd be able to get Chris Evans out of your system. Forever.
You sigh again, deciding you werenât going to think about that anymore. It wasnât going to get you anywhere, anyway.Â
You had no classes today, so you decided to get ahead on your work. Walking over to your couch, you pull out your laptop.
This was Danielâs parentsâ apartment. He was pretty well off as his dad was a software developer for some huge tech company you canât remember the name of and his mother a successful criminal psychiatrist.Â
They got him this apartment a while ago and when youâd started dating, he asked you to move in. Of course, you said no initially, that was insane. You explained this to him, conveying exactly why itâd be a bit too much to move in together after only just getting into a relationship.
But eventually, heâd managed to convince you. I mean, honestly, it wasnât that hard. A huge apartment you didnât have to pay a whole bunch of rent for and also get to share with your hot boyfriend wasnât the worst deal.
You just wish you could love him as much as he loved you. Youâd get there eventually, you had no doubt.
You try to work, you really do, but the words are blurring together, interlocking, becoming knotted with each one you tried to type. It was far too tedious to try to focus now and quite pointless too.
Your mind is so clogged with messy thoughts, you decide itâs better for you to go for a jog, let off some steam and come back with a clearer head to reassess.Â
You change into your jogging clothes- sports shorts, bra, and a sweatshirt. You tie on your running shoes and tie your hair into a high pony, grabbing your bottle of water on your way out.Â
You decide to take on a few laps around your local park, plugging your earbuds in. And because life just hates you like that, of course the first thing that comes up on shuffle is I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.Â
Despite the heaviness the mere initial cords bring to your heart, you donât skip to the next song and the gritty rawness of Jettâs voice more or less setting the tempo of your jog. Your feet hit the pavement beneath your feet in sync with the beat of the song.Â
Something in the lyrics hits a nerve a bit too close to home and you gasp for air, the words puncturing you straight in the heart.Â
âI hate myself for loving you
Canât break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you
Thatâs why I hate myself for loving youâÂ
You run harder, trying to sweat off the heaviness in your chest. Running away from the haunting ache that resonates from deep within you or trying to regain control of yourself, you donât know for sure.Â
You do hardcore sprinting for a few more laps before eventually deciding to slow down to a light jog, rethinking whatâd occurred today as you took a sip of your water bottle.Â
That invitation jolted something in you, a container youâd spent a long time trying to keep a tight lid on, and popped it open, spilling about your goddam guts.
The past was rushing back to haunt you and now the ball was in your court. Were you going to let it in and have it disturb the presentâs peace, or were you going to lock it out and lose the chance at closure?
The real question was; did you even have a choice?
Are you excited? Cause I sure as hell AMMMMMMM
@whereeverythingisbetterâ
An of course my incredible forevers!