Yor and her relationship with femininity (and my relationship with Yor ig)
I’ve been keeping up with SPY x FAMILY for quite a while now. It was easy for me to become a fan. It’s cute, it’s funny, it has some good action, really interesting philosophical themes, and memorable characters. Instantly, Twilight was the best one in my opinion, with Anya coming in as a very close second (she gets bonus points cuz she’s basically me when I was a child), but Yor? She was just… kinda there. I mean, she was nice enough, I didn’t hate her, but I was genuinely confused as to why people like her. Her personality seemed to be ditzy, nice, insecure and embarrassed about everything, with a split personality disorder that makes her sometimes kill people in a sexy way, presumably to add some depth and possibly to make it easier to both infantilize and objectify her at the same time. But even if we ignore the last bit, I have little patience for these kinds of characters. I guess I don’t relate to um… having shame? Or being polite…. Anyway, she was so underdeveloped for so long, and then the cruise arc happened. And I loved it so much, but only because of Anya and Loid's shenanigans. It was so focused on Yor, but I Still. Didn’t. Get it. It was a little disappointing, but yk I usually like male characters more anyway. Mediocre female characters are hardly uncommon in media, unfortunately.
As you may notice, up until now I’ve been using the past tense, indicating that I changed my opinion. And I changed it so much that now, I think, Yor might be my favourite character. I can’t even pinpoint the moment when the switch happened. All I know is that recently, and by recently, I mean almost a year ago, my love for sxf got somewhat renewed or maybe reached a new level, and I’m pretty sure that it’s because I really, really like Yor. So yeah, this was kind of a long introduction to my attempt at verbalizing the thoughts I had about her.
A big part of Yor’s character is her struggle to fit in, especially in her role as a wife and more broadly, as a woman. Obviously, masculinity and femininity are very broad concepts and are viewed in many different ways. But I see her journey as embodying Yin, and Twilight, for that matter, as embodying Yang.
YinYang is a fascinating concept for me, although I’m not an expert in Chinese philosophy, so it’s very possible that I’m not right about this, but… well this is my interpretation.
Yin is the feminine side; it’s a pulling motion, it’s dark and mysterious, it’s rest, it’s renewal, it’s “passive” and indirect, it is wise(!).
I really like how Yor chases normalcy and tries to become more feminine through entirely superficial means like being better at cooking, appearing physically weak, or acting properly in social situations, but all those things have nothing to do with true femininity. For me, true femininity is far more subtle. It’s a kind of power that acts beneath the surface, almost undetectable, but is secretly the most powerful. It creates the space for others to act. It seems passive but is in fact the catalyst of the action. And just like Yor snuck up on me that I didn’t even realize when I started to like her so much, she did and is doing the same thing for her newly forged family, especially Twilight. Him thinking on the bench after getting kicked in the chin that the kind of power she and his mother had is the one that will finish the job… omg so true king. But crucially, her physical strength is one of the ways she makes a safe space for Anya. So I’m not dismissing this aspect! (and neither is Twilight, gosh).
It’s kinda hard to pull up all of the instances she’s embodying Yin, because she’s doing it all the time, and it’s mostly small things like making tea or just being this warm presence. Encouraging Twilight to rest on the riverbank that one time, trying really hard to learn how to cook even though she absolutely sucks, pointing out to Twilight that it’s a good thing the news is peaceful and probably many other times that don’t come to mind right now. She’s just so awesome.
I love it when she suddenly becomes weirdly wise (Yin trait btw) and perceptive (also a Yin trait). She doesn’t analyze like Twilight she acts on intuition (yes, this too is a Yin trait).
Now, I hate bringing men into a discussion about femininity but just like YinYang they are connected and can’t be separated. Actually, they reveal each other.
Anyway, so just like Yor works mostly through physical strength, Twilight works in intelligence, which is s more subtle and hidden type of work. He lies and conceals his identity. I feel like he’s learning to become more of a hero type (he obviously becomes a hero in Anya’s eyes, but like in general ig). Before, he accepted that his work will never get recognized, that he’ll get no medal or honour, but now he has people in his life who appreciate him and even think he’s cool. The scene with the pickpocketer comes to mind. Twilight initially doesn’t think to intervene, but when he sees Yor immediately throw herself into action, he changes his mind and catches the thief. He even enjoys the praise. He’s learning to be more honest, open, direct, maybe? Anyway, it’s a cool parallel to Yor, but I don’t care for it that much because the hero market is oversaturated, but who knows maybe Endo will do something interesting with it.
I also like their character designs reflecting their respective symbols. Yor being the dark one and Twilight the light one. His codename being Twilight when Yin is associated with night, and his organisation being called “Wise” - a Yin trait. Garden existing to make the world a more beautiful place, so it’s about making a space for others… I don’t know, it seems symbolically significant.
I also want to mention that Handler has some Yin energy in my eyes too while being very unlike Yor. Which is great because those characteristics can appear in many forms. Handler is so cool istg.
All in all, I love this so much. It’s such an interesting concept. Far more difficult to write than a simple hero character. It’s so subtle and cool. Dammit.
I should also mention that I’m not saying men are restricted to Yang and women to Yin. These things are relational. The same person can be Yin to one person and Yang to the other. Both are important, and neither is better. They’re just different. One has to push so the other can pull.
So yeah I don’t want to see any disrespect towards Yor. Without her this family would crash and burn.
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