my transition

the epic journey of a big ol qu**r catapiller trying to transform into gay ass butterfly

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

February 21st 2019

I don’t normally do “Throwback Thursday” but this one happens to line up with the day before my being on T for 6 months. I know I haven’t experienced a HUGE amount of physical changes, but in the past 6 months I feel like I’ve changed astronomically. I’ve gained a level of confidence that I’ve never had before, I’m starting to feel comfortable in my own skin, and I’m starting to be able to see a future as myself. Thank you so much to everyone who’s been supportive of me, and helped me further along on my journey.

[densedream]

Me trying on 50+ outfits that almost make me look cis even tho my face and voice are sooo not

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

12 days short of 6 months on T. I’m so close, and I feel like I’ve come so far physically. I’m closer to looking like my true self than I was 6 months ago, or even 3 months ago. I’m excited to see how much closer I’ll look to my true self 6 more months from now.

[crossdreamers]

Transgender male boxer Patricio Manuel makes history with a win in his pro debut

An emotional six-year journey proved worth every step for Patricio Manuel on Saturday when he climbed into the ring at the Fantasy Springs Resort Casino in Indio to become the first transgender pro male boxer in U.S. history.

The Los Angeles Times report:

Manuel says the biggest daily reminder that he has finally taken control of his life comes when he looks in the mirror each morning. For years he saw an uncertain woman looking back at him. Now the reflection is of a confident young man, the Adam’s apple and scruffy facial hair evidence that while Manuel’s journey is not complete, it’s now headed in the right direction.

Photo:   Wally Skalij/Los Angeles Times

[man101]

Voice Deepening Stretches

Lean your head back until you feel a light stretch in your neck tendons.

Hold for fifteen seconds.

Lightly hum, and gradually bring it down lower as you go.

Center your head.

Now lean your head to the left until you feel a light stretch.

Hold for fifteen seconds.

Center your head.

Repeat this process leaning your head to the right.

Lower your head down and put your hands behind your head.

Try to push your head against your hands upwards, while providing resistance from your hands.

[mxbitters]

This is great but I feel like you could hurt your vocal cords if you do this all the time. This seems like only a temporary fix.

[trans-advice]

Listen to your body. If you’re in pain, stop & rest

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

Sometimes I still like wearing lingerie because I feel like I look nice in it.

[call-me-nathan]

My friends: How come you’re wearing a short sleeve shirt? It’s freaking cold, dude?

Me: *probably wearing two other shirts underneath to hide my chest*

Me: Idk it’s just not cold

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

This is me regularly even when I’m binding

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

November 20th 2018

Day 90: Tonight was my first meeting. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, walking through the door. Last week I only made it to the lot. I cried for about 20 minutes and went home. Today I made it inside. Right as I was about to leave, four people noticed me. They all smiled, greeted me and welcomed me. One guy showed me where the food and drink was and offered me a Chip.

Ive never felt so welcomed anywhere, in my life.

[lgbt-aesthetics]

Intersex Space Phone background Background ~Requested by Anonymous~

[egregious-bitch]

I’m just really bad at staying sober. Yet another thing I fail at religiously. Maybe I should join AA, an actual support system might be the kick in the ass I need…

[egregious-bitch]

So today as a manager at a glasses store…

Okay so this fuckwad comes in and is yelling and swearing at Lynn (2 foot tall sweet ol lady weighs like 4 lbs) and I have to physically insert myself between them so he wouldn’t have the opportunity to get violent at her. Like actually.

So I’m trying to calm this wad of smegma down, and at this point, I’m looking at my DM in the office like “pls help” and this bitch rolls her eyes and closes the door. So I’m on the fuck my own, and eventually calm his ass down. All he fuckin wants is a pair of glasses and I’m like fine fuck it.

So it takes AN HOUR for him to select the perfect pair, and he’s prattling in this whole goddamn time about his fuckin alcoholicness, the fact that he was ARRESTED FOR MANSLAUGHTER, and his prostate cancer. Because I TOTALLY give a shit about ya damn ass cancer. And at one point, he laid a hand on my chest and said something like “thanks for your help” but keep in mind, I am trans, and I’m not binding today. I have a pair of double Ds just staring at bitches in the face it is obvious I have breasts. His hand was fully on titty. Nip nip and all. He moved his hand and moved on before I could react.

So thank goodness, we’re rid of this almighty fucknut right? WRONG BITCH. He comes back in two hours to pick up his glasses, and is talking about being an alcoholic again.

He said something to the effect of “you look like you’re early 20s, you’re a heavy drinker right?” And I was like “nope I don’t drink anymore, it’s not for me.” this ABSOLUTE CHODE spent the next 20 minutes telling me about all these rehab facilities I should go to to get clean, all these non-prescription drugs I should take to “take the edge off” without drinking. He finally leaves. Dobby is free.

Then this taint lookin mother fucker comes back in, waits his turn THEN GIVES ME HIS FULL NAME AND NUMBER AND SAYS I SHOULD GIVE HIM A CALL SOMETIME.

[egregious-bitch]

Guess it’s time to break that sobriety streak 🙃

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

November 1st 2018

Officially 2 weeks sober. I’ve now been ridiculed twice for being sober, bc drinking “isn’t a big deal” and all I’ve got to show for getting clean is nothing.

[egregious-bitch]

Sobriety is hard

The one reason I wish I was in AA is just so I could get the sobriety chips. I feel so fuckin accomplished hitting a milestone, it’s officially been two weeks (I know there’s not a two week chip) but I have nothing to show for it other than feeling ashamed that I’ve managed to be an alcoholic by age 22. Makes me feel pretty shite 😔

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

I’m feeling myself rn, so I’m making a lil dump of my favorite few recent pics. And yes, I am wearing the same cut off sweatshirt in two of them, I look good in that shit 👀

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

24 Hours Clean

I’m officially 24 hours clean. The shakes have all but stopped, and the shivers are happening in bursts rather than consistently. My body feels fucking wrecked.

But I did it. This is the first night in almost seven months that I’ve gone without drinking. I feel ashamed at feeling proud of myself.

[egregious-bitch]

I don’t quite look like a guy, but when I dress femme I don’t look quite right. I’m in a terrible limbo of masc and femme and all I want is to look like myself…

[a-trans-mans-trans-jam]

10/15/2018

Day 54: a reblog from my main blog. I’m sad changes aren’t happening as quickly as I’d hoped. On the plus side, I’m gaining more body hair, my voice is noticeably lower (not a lot but multiple people seperately have commented), and my clit is noticeably bigger as well. I’ve also lost some weight, but it’s so little of everything that it feels like nothing big.