[anxietyproblem]

[aaavoidant]

As a non-autistic person who had (and may still have) sm I wish people didn’t automatically associate selective mutism with autism. It’s an anxiety disorder first and foremost. Of course these conditions overlap but sm is not the same as “going nonverbal” (in quotations because I’m not sure if it’s the correct term)

[eerie-eyedd]

[hollanderthoughts]

I want to be heard (doesn’t speak) I want to be understood (doesn’t explain) I want to be seen (acts like if a missing person was right in front of everybody)

[unification]

i know we're not supposed to say this but i literally love being alone and going on the computer

[shushututu]

People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

[aaavoidant]

Me: hangs out with a pair friends for the first time in months and genuinely have great conversation

🧠, for no reason: they hate you they hate you they hate you

[detached0l]

[randomfriendlyloser]

I isolate and disappear daily, responds to people's texts after days, dont even pick up calls, unintentionally ignore people, unintentionally act rude, act fine even though im not, constantly hide my actual thoughts, wait for others to text first, avoid people i care for and then wonder why everyone forgot about me XD

[hymn-of-proof]

an old comic

[felderwin]

Realistically I know “let’s all kill ourselves” is just as bad or maybe worse than “im going to kill myself” but in my head it’s like. ok but im establishing a sense of community and proposing a group activity? like are we really going to get mad about that

[avoidant-dreams]

avpd culture is feeling jealous in social situations where people just express themselves, when you had that abused out of you so you just observe others getting to be themselves whilst your body locks you down mute

[avpd-pain]

[avpd-pain]

[anxietyproblem]

[avpd-pain]

[avpdculture]

Selective Mutism + suspected AvPD culture is never being able to seek help/diagnosis because any sort of intimacy or possible rejection takes away my speaking privileges. And I can't write them down or use AAC because... I don't know. I just can't. It feels exactly the same as trying to speak about them. I feel physically unable to.

I can't speak about them, ok, but why can't I write them down either? Why does interaction with people feel physically painful? Why can't I just ask for help?

~