asking "wait so what do you think I'm saying" mid-disagreement will replenish years of your life actually
PLEASE do this ohmygod. it's saved so many days of the silent treatment for me on both ends. yes there is the chance that the person is immature as fuck, and refuses to believe you when you explain what you're actually trying to say, but most of the time just hearing that explanation from both parties will make things instantly calm down.
Yes!! You can also say "okay hang on...this is what I'm hearing...is that what you mean?" from the other end. Especially if the message you're hearing is hurtful and coming from a person who generally does not try to hurt you. Words have so many connotations, and everyone brings their own perspective and baggage to conversations. Checking in that you're sending the message you mean or receiving the message they mean can stop so many fights before they even start.
My chaotic streak is that i realize fast when the ppl im talking with thought im saying something else but instead of confirming i press on to see how long for them to notice
