i have the honor to be your obedient servant

jess. formerly extantecstasy. 28. white queer/bisexual person. agender (she/her or they/them) and feminist. like being friends with an evil snail. sometimes I like to like things. sometimes I like to dislike things. right now I like: hamilton, raven cycle, parks and rec, brooklyn nine nine, check please, steven universe, pacific rim, all queer ladies ever, vidya games, and other stuff I guess.

[hotseok]

i’ve reached the point in life where i’m literally in tears of this this is the funniest fucking thing——

[valtsv]

sometimes i stop and seriously think about all the history that has happened right where i’m standing and lose my mind just a little bit

[valtsv]

cashier: that’ll be $7.99

me, thinking about the fact that dinosaurs bigger than houses used to walk the earth:

[marianhalcombes]

George Elgar Hicks, On the Seashore (1879) | Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights (1847) 

society6 | literature + art | sappho + art 

[marauders4evr]

I don’t ship Drarry but with that being said, I will accept no other Drarry prompt than them stubbornly competing to outdo the other for the sheer drama.

It starts off when they’re still enemies in the Goblet of Fire. Draco makes a taunt about who Harry’s going to ask to the Yule Ball and how they must be from the worst of the worst lot and Harry rolls his eyes and says, “Well, fitting you say that, Malfoy, because I was going to ask you.” A perfect zing, Harry. 10/10.

But now the ball’s in Draco’s court and obviously he’s not going to pass up on the chance to humiliate the scarhead so he takes the most logical route of humiliation and calls out his bluff: “Fine, Potter, I reckon we’re going.”

But do you think Harry James Potter is just going to back down? That stubborn teenager is going to stare Draco down and say, “Reckon we are.”

Ron’s confused and Hermione’s confused and literally the entire castle is confused but Harry’s satisfied because he called out a bluffer’s counterbluff with a bluff of his own. And they just keep it up.

“I suppose you don’t even know how to dance, Potter?”

The furious teenager who spent years having to watch soapbox dramas with Mrs. Figg just glares at him in his stupid dress robes. “I know some things.”

“Prove it.”

“Fine.”

It’s like that for days until Draco makes the ultimate power move by inviting Harry to the Malfoy’s Annual New Years Eve Ball, taking out a Daily Prophet ad no less, because oh, oh, he’s got Potter now. He’ll never accept and he’ll be humiliated in front of the entire wizarding world. And do you think Harry’s just going to go down without a fight? God, no, he’s going to win whatever the hell this is because he’s Harry Potter, Draco better be worried, oh boy.

They’re still going at it six months later.

“Err—Malfoy?” Crabbe says. “Potter just sent you a dozen roses?”

“That son of a bitch! Send a box of chocolates. That’ll show him.”

“Um, Draco—?”

“I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE, PARKINSON!”

[wheeloffortune-design]

i couldn’t resist :P

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

… Well okay I guess I ship Drarry now

[assassinregrets]

@amoktimes

[melbrooks]

[nunyabizni]

I just died, this killed me

[lucifermorningnova-deactivated2]

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this

[tour-of-torterra]

My english teacher played the whole song in class once. I think he was trying to describe postmodernism. 

[redcabooze-moved-deactivated202]

when i was "7" i was in a hospital for a few months for a secret reason. my aunt brought me a snake to make me feel better, i tried to eat it but my mother slapped it out of my hand and it got away. we never found it. his name was slippy.

this ask has so many questions around it. why did you try to eat the snake? why was the hospital visit secret? was it secret to you as well? why are their quotation marks around the number 7?? as if you weren’t actually seven?? this is so upsetting. thank you.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[shrimppunk-deactivated20170902]

he went NUSTS

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

you could give me the most-well-thought out, clever, and complex joke ever written and i still wouldnt find it as funny as this post, which is funny to me for no fucking reason at all

[lycanthropoops]

Bitopia, 5E00-0079-88B6

after so many hours, bitopia is finally complete!  ❤ ❤ ❤

[c3rvida3]

A kid at work has decided that they don’t want to play with the kitchen set, and don’t want to play Barbies, but would instead rather take the them-sized stove and the Barbie-sized stove and pretend that they’re mommy and baby stoves.

The baby stove is currently at stove school, which is for stoves.

[c3rvida3]

The mommy stove is at work, and apparently makes soup for a living, which I know because this kid is has been chanting, “I MAKE SOUP AND I DO IT ALL DAY / EVERY SINGLE SOUP SECOND, EVERY SINGLE SOUP WAY,” louder and louder and higher and higher to the point where it’s now either being sung by the world’s loudest mouse or the world’s most out-of-breath six-year-old.

[thecottonproject]

(•̀o•́)ง

[charliebowater]

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

A little doodle for one the most beautiful lines from any poem, The Old Astronomer. Available on S6 for those who asked :)

[desertislandcomics]

Postcard from the edge (actual postcard sent by Jon-Michael Frank)

[serotnin]

[billandtedsexcellentgaymarriage]

[billandtedsexcellentgaymarriage]

throwback to when my family left me alone the day after i got my wisdom teeth removed and all i did was play super mario 3D world

[posting-disliker]

im goknba

[adothamman]

smiles for days

[whysosirris]