God, he was such an idiot.
He rolled the windows down a bit to let the cool night air stream in. His bottom lip stung, and even with the window cracked he was still steaming. The car jerked to a stop as he noticed later than he should have that he’d hit a red light. He wasn’t paying enough attention. At least it was late enough there wasn’t much traffic. Where was he going?
He swore after having licked his lips, grimacing at the metallic taste and wiping his lip on his sleeve, only vaguely aware of the shame it was that the stains he was leaving were on such a good shirt. Still not paying enough attention, still stuck on running through what had transpired and every reason he was a careless idiot, he didn’t register which apartment building he had driven to until he was in the lobby. Without letting himself check the time, as if somehow that was going to make him feel better about it, he pulled out his phone. The signal was weak but usable in the elevator so he gave it a shot, pressing the button for the third floor.
No answer. Waiting for one had given him the time to get down the hall to Alan’s apartment. One more try and he would give up. There was an answer on the first ring, most likely he had woken him up the first time just in time to miss the call.
“Hey, it’s uh,” Caller ID was the most common thing in the world there was no need for this, he brought up his arm to look at his watch, seeing the blood stains there instead. “late….I’m sorry, I … I happen to be outside your door”
“What?!” Scrambling on the other end.
“There was a minor altercation at the bar– I was not drinking,” He didn’t want Alan to think he had driven there drunk. Unbeknownst to him on the other side of the line Alan felt a wave of relief, the thought having occurred to him. “I….” Naveen didn’t know why he had come so he had no reason to offer him. “I am sorry to have disturbed y-”
While he was sitting at Alan’s counter he wikihow-ed how to treat a split lip to make sure, but first aid was generally the same for a lot of minor things so Alan had already got him a cool damp cloth and was getting an ice pack ready for once the bleeding stopped. When he had been forced to stop and wait in the elevator he had felt suddenly drained, but now, sitting here in the quiet and watching Alan rummage, it was accentuated. The frustration had dissipated to who knows where, leaving him tired. He lifted the cloth from his lip to check the bleeding, it still stung but he tried not to show it. When he pressed it back to his lip and looked back up Alan was watching him, pushing back his bangs which showed off eyebrows that were pulled up in concern.
“It probably looks worse than it is.”
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”
Naveen laughed a little, thinking he probably deserved it. Alan made a face that had him wonder if he heard that. “I’ll survive,” Nav assured him. It /had/ hurt, but for whatever reason, even after showing up in the middle of the night with a bleeding lip and plenty of reason for Alan to worry, he was more hoping that he wouldn’t worry too much.
He sat with the ice pack pressed against his lip for a while, kind of glad it was his lip so he could pretend he felt less obligated to say something. His chest felt tight. When the silence got unbearable he gave Alan a watered down version of events, throwing in a couple ‘or something’s for good measure. Why was he doing this? Why should he feel so guilty? With the hand not holding the ice pack to his lip he rubbed his eyes.
“In any case, I am declaring this whole night a write off.”
He wouldn’t let himself stay too much later. Alan had suggested he stay the night, and as much as he wanted to immediately lay down, there seeming like a perfect place to do so, he felt bad enough for even being there in the first place. Walking to the door he again apologized for waking Alan and keeping him up, to which he was assured it was no big deal. Still, he hoped Alan didn’t have to wake up early tomorrow. Today. He apologized again.
“And thank you for the ice.”
“It looks better… or at least as 'better’ as a split lip can probably look.”
Even as he said it, Nav noted that he still looked concerned, and he should have cracked a joke about his previously handsome lips. He smiled a little to make up for it, and was pulled into a firm hug which, after a beat, he returned.
“Drive home safe, please.”
Suddenly all he wanted was to press his face into Alan’s shoulder and stay there forever. But instead he agreed to do so, and left.
Except he didn’t quite leave at first. First he sat in his car again feeling as frustrated as he had when he’d driven there. Even just stepping out the apartment door he was hit with the compulsion to turn around. He let out an exasperated and wordless exclamation, meaning to hit his forehead against the top of the wheel and instead banging it on the horn, sounding it. He jumped, glancing up to the approximate place where Al’s windows would be, hoping he didn’t hear, but not sticking around long enough to find out.
The further Naveen got the more he considered turning around and going back to Alan’s apartment, and of course, the less likely it was that he actually would. So he returned home, tossing the few contents of his pockets onto the counter without much thought, and making a beeline for his bed. Inwardly groaning, he collapsed onto it, pressing his face into the sheets. His lip ached a little in protest, and he rolled over. He had felt drained and tired, yes, but now that he had the chance it felt less likely he would sleep. With a sigh he pulled out his phone. He hadn’t noticed it buzz, but it had; A text from Alan.
“Hey just checking in that you’re home now”
There was a dull ache, not in his lip, telling him he should have stayed. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a moment.
He tossed his phone aside with another groan, to where he would pick it up in the morning and get a scolding from Sophie for being such an idiot, and resigned himself to restless frustration until he managed to fall alseep.
