My main issue with The Other Bennet Sister (both as a book and series) is that it operates on the premise that Mary actually understands and is upset that she is not as brilliant as her sisters, when Pride and Prejudice tells us explicitly that hearing herself described as 'the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood' at the Meryton assembly is enough for her to have enjoyed a 'pleasant' evening.
I understand that Mary is somewhat of a blank slate (given how little she is in the original novel) and thus that ability to be able to project onto her would be appealing for an author because she is the most infrequently mentioned Bennet sister. But equally, she is seldom in the story because she is not particularly relevant to the plot; it's not an oversight on Austen's part. Her character is clearly defined and we have a good sense of who Mary is (selfish and sanctimonious, rather than neglected and overlooked) even if there are not entire chapters dedicated to her.
Mary Bennet is not heroine material and that is perfectly okay.
Mary is also, by the standards of the day, constantly putting herself forward in a way which was interpreted as a moral failing.
There's a reason we have so many scenes of Austen heroines and other respectable ladies demurring when first asked to play on the piano until the host/hostess insists some more. It isn't modesty, it's morality, and it's why Mary not waiting to be asked to play and not being aware of when she's performed an excessive amount is judged so harshly.
I don't personally agree with a lot of regency lady behavioural standards, but to contemporary readers Mary is attention seeking and vain, not demonstrating any modesty or that demure behaviour which spoke of a woman having good principles. In that way she's way more like Kitty and Lydia then modern audiences can easily see, though their exhibiting takes very different avenues. But it was still an indicator of improper principles.
It's why she's included in the 'that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by [your mother], by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father' (ch35) line that Darcy writes to Elizabeth. She isn't just awkward, unlikeable, or not well rounded - she was often completely lacking propriety. Elizabeth names this judgement on her family a 'mortifying, yet merited reproach ... The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial' (ch36). She doesn't make an excuse for Mary, but includes her equally in the condemnation against the behaviour of Mrs Bennet, Kitty, and Lydia.
Here's the definition of the word propriety, as I believe Austen used it in this context, from the Oxford English Dictionary: 'Conformity to accepted standards of behaviour or morals, esp. with regard to good manners or polite usage; seemliness, decorousness, decency; (observance of) convention.' That is what contemporary audiences, and the sensible characters within Pride and Prejudice itself, thought Mary was lacking. She has a problem with morals, good manners, and decorum. Not awkwardness or being unlikeable, nor shyness or trouble socialising (and in fact, I'd argue that Mary's behaviour is the opposite of shy). Though she's such a minor character it isn't as important a change, many modern interpretations of Mary are very similar to the 'Darcy isn't a snob, he's just socially awkward!' thinking which ignores the book canon.
I'm also a proponent of the idea that, where Kitty and Lydia demonstrate the flaws of seeking experiences and no reflection, Mary demonstrates the flaws of seeking only reflections and disdaining a lot of real world experiences. A situation rectified somewhat at the ending of the book, as with her sisters gone, 'Mary was obliged to mix more with the world, but she could still moralize over every morning visit' (ch61). Hopefully this situation also made her more self-aware, and less inclined to put herself forward indelicately when she didn't feel the need to compete for recognition.
It's so understandable that modern readers project social awkwardness and shy bookish-ness onto Mary, because social standards of behaviour have altered so much in 200+ years and she's a minor character, but Austen did actually write her as confident and forward to the point of vanity and disregarding morals. I have yet to see any novel that focuses on Mary recognise that, and work within that framework for her character arc. And, because it's missed, so too is the nuance of why she's disparaged by the narrator and not praised or particularly liked by Elizabeth and Jane.
This has a flow-on effect of authors needing to find some justification for why Mary is so overlooked, which, since they don't recognise Mary's own flaws, generally means they need to invent or exaggerate flaws in other characters. Which is why you get characters suddenly focusing on likeability, or looks, or social prowess, to a degree that they never did in canon, if at all. I enjoy reimaginings, but you have to be really careful and knowledgeable when making beloved characters shallower or meaner in a way they weren't in canon in order to white-wash a minor character for it to work well, and I'm not convinced they've done that in this instance.
I know I've been very harsh on Mary's character here, so I should add the disclaimer that I actually adore Mary, as I do Kitty and Lydia (yes, even Lydia). They're teenagers whose education (and emotional well being, in the case of at least Mary and Kitty) has been neglected and thrown out into society at a young age to figure it out for themselves, so I'm not at all surprised they've misstepped and gone too far in seeking external validation. Mary sure as hell didn't get enough of it growing up. But Mary isn't judged by the world because she doesn't fit the pretty, sociable, likeable mold her other sisters do, she's judged because of her own actions and the values that demonstrates to respectable society.
I just wish that more works focusing on the younger Bennet sisters recognised the actual (contemporary) errors of their behaviour in a sympathetic way and worked to show how they might improve as they grow, rather than excusing all or most of it and saying that it's everyone else who is acting wrong.
%100, weird how this misinterpretation is so commonβ¦Mary is not shy, sheβs actually very thick-skinned, to the extent she completely fails to notice the unreasonable amount of time sheβs been demanding attention at the piano. She likes to show off: βsuch an opportunity of exhibiting was delightful to herβ - she continues into another song after only βthe hint of a hope she might be asked againβ despite the fact she is just not good at it. I donβt think itβs just regency decorum that makes this problematic either - their society was certainly less comfortable with young people who didnβt possess much talent demanding attention and applause than ours is - but I think that type of insistent misplaced self-confidence is always quite irritatingβ¦. Also, by rewriting Mary as shy and upset by her conception of her own inferiority (basically Fanny Price) you put this weird lens on the other characters treatment of her and (as Jane would say) βmake everyone acting unnaturally and wrong!βπ. Yeah, if she was a sensitive Fanny maybe they should have treated her with extreme sensitivity , but itβs a fictional fact that she *isnβt β¦ sheβs more like Mr Collins, self-satisfied and oblivious to her own failings . Her problem is her lack of sensitivity , not crippling shyness or low self esteem .
It may be that Iβm blind, but I really love the perspective in TOBS. I wouldnβt say the series portrays Mary as a shy, bookish girl who keeps to herself. Instead, it seems to highlight her flawβthat she can be quite stubborn. I think this is especially visible in her interactions with the children: when she first becomes a governess, she is rather strict, teaches only her favorite subjects, doesnβt ask the children for their opinions, and doesnβt try to build any kind of bond with them.
As viewers, we can assume this comes from the fact that she is in a new situation, and that her mother had a very fixed idea of who she wasβan idea Mary herself came to believe. I see her flaw as a kind of wall she built, mainly because it was easier not to feel anything at all than to feel constantly.
She reminds me of myselfβI can be a bit of a know-it-all and quite stubborn. Like her, I often feel it would be easier to be more like a robot than a human. Maybe Iβm projecting my own perspective onto her.
This reliance on knowledge as a shield seems very visible in the series, and I think Mary didnβt change because she became braver or more honestβshe always wasβbut because she began to notice that she doesnβt have to see something bad in everyone, and that emotions arenβt something you should want to get rid of.
Her relationships with Caroline and Elizabeth show me that she finally started to see themβand herselfβdifferently. Her care for the children, and the understanding that everyone has different passions that should be nurturedβlike a love for poetry, or asking the children to write their own poemβare also very telling. Poetry truly opened her heart; it became a catalyst that allowed Mary to see more of the world, and it shook her.
And she didnβt change all at once. I remember the scene where she said quite firmly that props are something people use as a shortcutβshe meant comforting the youngest daughter of her relatives after the poem about the frogβbut at the same time, she made the older daughter hide her own prop, and Mary didnβt even notice, because she was still a work in progress.
So yes, I think TOBS portrayed Mary wellβit showed her world, her perspective, and the fact that she is an unreliable narrator. How many times do things happen in the series that she doesnβt notice, or doesnβt even look at? Honestly, I was surprised that she eventually realized that Tom might have feelings for her.
