Seinfeld is just a series of Am I The Asshole posts & the answer is always yes

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Seinfeld is just a series of Am I The Asshole posts & the answer is always yes
Nicola Coughlan [x]
just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees
@tinyghosthands
listen I don’t “like” things, I either read a book/watch a show and forget 0.2 secs later or change my entire lifestyle based on what it was until I find something new
you don’t get good at doing something by not doing it
you get good at doing something by doing it badly and learning how to do it better
You don’t learn from success, you learn from failure how to achieve success.
you see, the thing is, i hate failure.
in order to find success, you must first submit yourself to the mortifying ordeal of being kinda crap at something
One thing that I’ve been lucky enough to learn through teaching is that sometimes the things you see as your biggest faults aren’t perceived that way by others.
I used to have to climb six flights of stairs every time I wanted to get to my classroom. I was always super ashamed of how I climbed those stairs, because I’m fat and asthmatic and was always struggling on the way up, and going down stairs is one of the few situations where I can’t always fake being somebody with brain-given normal coordination. The weather in Wuhan being what it was, generally speaking I’d make it to my class a sweaty out of breath mess, and I had a certain area of the hallway where I’d hide out for a few minutes so that I could enter the classroom bubbly, fun, and breathing normally. I assumed that I was chronically grossing out anybody who ran into me during my daily trek up the stairs, but one day one of the administrators at the school pulled me aside and told me that one of my students had written this essay for a competition about how she’d always watch through the window while I was climbing the stairs, because it made her feel that I loved her and her classmates, and that’s why I was her favorite teacher.
Another time, I accidentally knocked over the expensive classroom computer while I was teaching, and killed it dead. The kids were pretty freaked out about it and I was certain that I’d made the ultimate mistake from which I could never come back from. I assumed that even if I wasn’t fired, the kids would never respect me again. A janitor came into the classroom and looked at it, and started yelling at the kids and totally blaming them. I told her I had knocked it over, and said I’d talk to the principal and find a way to pay for it. The school didn’t let me pay for the computer in the end, and it was taken care of, but for years every time I thought in it I’d be tied in knots. Then, several years later after that group of students had graduated, a bunch of them came back to visit me. One showed me a copy of an article in their school newspaper. Another former student (who wasn’t able to visit) had written an article about how that moment had taught him that it was important to admit to his mistakes, and that at the time he’d been impressed because he’d assumed that all foreigners didn’t respect China and that they’d never apologize for destroying Chinese property, and in fact the incident had taught him that he needed to get to know foreigners before he judged them.
Anyway, my point is that if you assume that people are always focused your worst aspects, you’re probably wrong. Even if you’re struggling, others around you might be seeing something positive.
What they say: I’m fine
What they mean: Sky High is unironically the best super hero movie in existence, and it’s a tragedy that they scrapped the idea of turning it into a film series exploring each of the main characters and their lives growing up, learning to harness their powers to their full potential. Can you imagine that? The Sky High Cinematic Universe? Marvel and DC WHOMST???
you can be upset about it but for the love of god keep your thoughts to yourself
I want a home mostly just to welcome people into it. There will be bowls of candy for guests, and the cookie jar is full. I’ll always say “I was just about to make a coffee/tea/cocoa, would you like one?” when somebody walks in. There’s lemonade and iced tea made fresh on hot days. Once it hits That Hour and they start saying they really should be going, I’ll remind them that the futon is always open, and I’m making cinnamon rolls tomorrow. There’s champagne and sparkling juice hidden on a high shelf just in case somebody announces their engagement or their pregnancy or their new job while they’re here. There is an extra chair in the living room, at the table, and on the deck, and it’s for you. I want to be able to say “if you’re ever in trouble, come to me.”
If you heard of writer's block, get ready for reader's block. You want to read. You have time. You know what to read; how have a pile of books ready to be read. You cannot sit still and focus enough to do so or you can't even open the book.
i would love to see modern british people try and build stonehenge today. they couldn’t. whatever it took for them to build something like stonehenge has been completely lost over time
Not lost over time. Lost to Christian forces eradicating traditional saxon culture.
well if you’re gonna be serious on my funny post i have to inform you that stonehenge was built 3600 years before the Saxons first set foot in england
This vibe is like some tried to correct a clown mid show and they pulled off their wig, mask, and funny clothes to reveal an anthropology professor
Urban Weed Awards Crown Unwanted Plants with Superlatives
Say it with me folks:
“Eat the rich” means 1%ers and billionaires
middle class is closer to poverty than being a multimillionaire
“The rich” does NOT include children of billionaires (come on we’re at least slightly better than the plagues of Egypt)
Upper middle class children SHOULD NOT feel guilt over having money
Being aware of privilege and using your privilege to help others IS NOT a guilt trip
Constantly feeling guilty helps no one
Billionaires, however, should feel guilty over hoarding wealth.
Upper middle class is NOT rich
Black Lives Matter
Trans rights are human rights
My uncle was one of the top surgeons in the country. He was upper middle class definitely. When he got cancer, his insurance didn’t cover all the treatments he would need and after 5 years he drained his savings on cancer treatments (while still working most of that time) and eventually died because he couldn’t afford the expensive treatments that might have saved him.
If you are upper middle class and you get sick, it will likely bankrupt your family. It’s fucked.
For all of the idiots in the notes ^
Honest to god - even if you make 6 figures a year? you're closer to poverty than true wealth. Check your shit and remember who your real allies and enemies are guys.
A 6 figure income is a lot right? That’s say: 223,000 dollars a year Which is 112 dollars an hour. Most people would consider that upper middle class. That’s enough money to have a nice house, go on fun vacations. That’s slight more than the average doctor makes.
223,000 dollars is what Jeff Bezo makes in a minute
the well-off and the rich are not the same.
this crossover was one of the most hyped things of my childhood
Representation matters.
Happy Star Trek Day!
I was at DragonCon one year when Avery Brooks was on a panel, and a Black dude stood up and talked about how the year DS9 came on, he became the sole custodial guardian of his small son, and he was *terrified* and felt helpless, because he hadn’t really had a father himself, and he didn’t really know any Black fathers he particularly wanted to emulate, and no Black single fathers at all. He talked about how every week he’d put his kid to bed and sit down and watch Deep Space Nine, and think to himself, “Okay, this, I want us to be this kind of father and son,” and how, silly as it might sound, the idea that Ben could be there for Jake, all the time, successfully, and earn his admiration and trust, was the only source he really had of inspiration, the only voice that was telling him he could handle this job.
I swear to fuck there was a whole auditorium of people in tears by the time he was done, including both him and Brooks. It was one of the most beautiful moments I ever saw about the sometimes bloodless-sounding term “representation,” and about fandom in general, and I will never forget it.
representation fucking matters
Some of you never memorized “Fire and Ice” by Robert Frost so you could recite it with Kristen Stewart in Eclipse and it shows
no need to be so loud
STRANGER THINGS (2016-PRESENT)