Underage Thinking

HELLO I'M ABRAM AND I LIKE PIZZA AND LOOKING FANCY. 

[abram-saunders]

@abeybaby: LETS GATHER AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND SING OUR CAMP FIRE SONG OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G

@abeybaby: expect to hear that all night

[theryanprescott]

“Fuck 9 PM. I think an anti-curfew party is definitely in order. Who’s in?”

[abram-saunders]

"I AGREE. But as long as everybody's making good decisions at that party and not being a whole bunch of hooligans. But I really would like to have a party with a big old snack table with all the snacks you can possibly think of in the whole wide world because I'm really hungry."

[trentoncoyne]

“Can you believe there isn’t a boxing club here? What the hell am I supposed to do outside of school? I’ve never been into anything else.”

[abram-saunders]

"MAYBE WE CAN MAKE ONE. Or you can join the football team with me and Ryker! OR YOU CAN JOIN THE HOCKEY TEAM. THERE'S SO MANY POSSIBILITIES TRENTON I DON'T THINK YOU'RE OPENING YOURSELF UP TO THEM. I also think we need an official cooking club because right now I just follow Lizzie around a lot and I don't want her to get sick of cooking for me because then there's no one else who is as good at cooking as her but if somebody else does make me food I can balance it out with her amazing food and as you can see, it would all just work out much better for me."

[soarezra]

“Do y-you …” Ezra trailed off, rubbing the back of neck uneasily. “Do you have any more? I was finishing my Physics II l-lab report and missed dinner. I could repay you. I’m not sure how, but I could.”

[abram-saunders]

"OF COURSE I DO. I actually ended up making a whole other one last night just because Lizzie wanted to try some but she eats like a little baby bird, so you can definitely have the rest. I don't usually share food, but this is something that's so good I just really don't think I can keep it from the rest of the world because that would just be too mean of me and I'm not a mean person. BUT HOW DID YOU MISS DINNER? I've never missed a meal in my whole entire life, so I think you need to make sure that doesn't happen again because that can't be good for you."

[ohavalon-blog]

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, y’know? It was a mistake.”

[abram-saunders]

"It was a mistake but what if it's one that HAUNTS ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Like I know it was very generous of me to give my last cake pop to my sister but at the same time, I kind of need cake pops to function, and WHAT IF LIZZIE GETS TIRED OF MAKING THEM FOR ME. The only other person who can make them as good as her is my Mom. The coffee shop on campus has them, but they're not the same. They're the ones made in a machine and you can tell because they're not as good ans they don't have frosting in the middle. It's preposterous. That's not how cake pops work and now I just really want a good, old fashioned cake pop but I gave my last one to April."

[gabrielhoward-deactivated201706]

“You know, I totally agree with you. It’s downright unacceptable. I’m actually upset that I had to witness it as it happens. Like, I was walking behind him and his girlfriend while they were arguing and he just flipped and threw the box of pizza he was holding right into the trash bin next to him. I knew it has pizza inside because he was holding it the way we would when we just recently bought a pizza — with care and up and even on the sides so the pizza inside wouldn’t slide to one side of the box. And I’ve never done that before, as well! I definitely will never do that even when I’m upset but rather, would just eat a bunch of it instead. So much pizza wasted, really.”

[abram-saunders]

"I would be too. I don't think I could have kept myself from interfering because WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE IS THAT THAT YOU'RE GOING TO THROW A PERFECTLY GOOD PIZZA AWAY. I have had to deal with plenty of break ups in my time and I have never punished a poor pizza for it. The girl probably had a good reason for fighting with him because if somebody did that in front of me I would feel so entirely disrespected I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I feel like we should hold some type of ralley for pizza safety just so we will know this type of crime will never ever happen again."

[wtglizzie]

OH GOSH, WHAT AN HONOR, I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN LIVE UP TO THE EXPECTATIONS. WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT WILL IT BE? DO YOU HAVE A CLEVER NAME PICKED OUT? Oh gosh- Well, if you want to make another one, I’m definitely not about to turn down eating it. Midnight pizza is a little better than day pizza, I think. Oh gosh, and she’s so nice, I can’t believe all the stuff she sends you. I bet she just has this big plan where she’s going to train everyone to be able to cook all of your favorite things so you’ll never be without her cooking! Thank you, oh gosh. That’s fine with me! She might have to put up with my girly posts, though, and I don’t know if she’ll like that.

[abram-saunders]

I THINK YOU CAN YOU BEAT MY EXPECTATIONS EVERY DAY WE HAVE CLASS. See, what I was thinking, is we take the idea of Abrizzieland AND TURN IT INTO A RESTAURANT FRANCHISE. I do, I'm actually going to make two more because Ryker wants a breakfast pizza made out of breakfast food. Midnight pizza is my first favorite kind of pizza! I think she's just bored with both me and April gone and so she has to figure out something to do all day and it's sending us stuff which I appreciate very very much. That's true, she has a lot of time on her hands so she could be concocting this whole elaborate scheme I never even knew about! Well she is a girl I'm pretty sure so I bet she'll enjoy them!

[rykercoyne-blog]

Why don’t you just order one for the morning? Or you could make a breakfast pizza with like a giant pancake and some bacon as the crust- that sounds really fucking good, actually, make it now. I bet you could find someone. SPEAKING OF THAT I THINK I SAW A PIZZA BOX MOVE EARLIER BUT I JUST PRETENDED I DIDN’T SEE ANYTHING AND WENT TO TRAINING SO I DON’T KNOW IF WE SHOULD CLEAN UP OR CALL FOR HELP FIRST OR WHAT, IT’S YOUR DECISION. That’s because he fucking hates me, Abey. That’s okay, though. But I’m honestly a little offended you gave him my name.

[abram-saunders]

Because I don't think there's many places out here that are going to stuff my crust with chicken tenders and love. RYKIE POO THAT IS THE BEST IDEA YOU'VE HAD ALL DAY. I'M GONNA DO THAT. Like usually if I want to have pizza for breakfast I just make a pizza on a bagel BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EVEN BETTER IDEA SO I'M GONNA DO THAT. Oh jeez louise. DO YOU THINK WE HAVE A PET? WHAT KIND OF PET IS IT? MAYBE ITS A RABBIT RYKER, LIZZIE HAS BEEN WANTING A BUNNY I COULD CAPTURE IT FOR HER. Well that just seems silly to me because you're the most lovable person in the whole wide world. I can't help it, you guys just look a like to me for some reason.

[wtglizzie]

YOU’RE GETTING MORE AND MORE BRILLIANT EVERY DAY I’M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO KEEP UP. Oh my gosh, that sounds so good, though! I’d be proud. NO, NO, YOU’RE FINE, OH GOSH. YOU DON’T NEED TO STAY UP TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE. Ooh, I don’t know if you’d want to show the cooking teacher, though. Because then she might share it with the whole class and then everyone might change it and it just won’t be the same! On the other hand, she might be a really great baker and we dont’ even know what we’re missing out on. I can try and make them for you, though! I mean, outside of cheer and class I really don’t have much to do, Abram. Plus I’ve been doing all the generic recipes for a couple of years now, I think need to live a little on the wild side.

[abram-saunders]

I THINK YOU WILL BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALL THE CAKE BAKING SKILLS THAT I DON'T AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITH OUT YOU. YOU CAN CO-OWN MY RESTAURANT. But I was just telling Ryker we need another one because I want to have some for leftovers tomorrow morning for breakfast because having pizza for breakfast is my second favorite meal to have pizza for. EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. But I think she just wants her recipes to be shared, which is generous of her but they could be ruined that way and I don't want to risk that. I don't mind if she gives them to you though because you're an expert just like her and you can execute the recipe just how it needs to be. THEN I'LL MAKE SURE TO GIVE THEM TO YOU. I think you need to be friends on pinterest and send each other recipes I'm gonna make that happen.

[gabrielhoward-deactivated201706]

“I can’t believe someone would throw a box full of pizza just because they’re pissed. Like, dude, you can’t just do that to pizza! I’m honestly disgusted.”

[abram-saunders]

"WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? THIS PERSON NEEDS TO BE PUT TO A STOP BEFORE MORE PERFECTLY GOOD, WHOLESOME, DELICIOUS PIZZA IS WASTED BECAUSE THAT IS ABSOLUTELY PREPOSTEROUS. I say we never let them have pizza privileges again because obviously they don't deserve it. I have never thrown away a piece of pizza in my life even if I accidentally burnt it."

[rykercoyne-blog]

I’m fucking paying for it, man. My stomach is literally so full if I move I’ll disintegrate into a thousand fucking pieces. If I die tonight don’t tell my mom; even if I’m dead, I don’t want her here.

[abram-saunders]

I think I'm gonna make another one because we didn't have any leftovers and I don't like not having leftovers because wHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? Well what if I told you you weren't allowed to disintegrate into a thousand pieces because I would miss you. YOU'RE MY ROOMMATE RYKIE POO I DON'T WANT A NEW ONE NOBODY ELSE PUTS UP WITH MY SCREAMING AND MY MESS AND MY FOOD EXPERIMENTS AND MY TALKING ABOUT LIZZIE NONSTOP AND MY HOCKEY EQUIPMENT BEING EVERYWHERE AND ALL MY OTHER SHENANGIANS THAT I DO ON A DAILY BASIS YOU'RE A KEEPER. I could always get Trent because he looks just like you but I feel like he gets a little offended whenever I call him Ryker even though I can't imagine why.

[wtglizzie]

Oh my gosh, Abram, when did you become such a good chef? Has your mom been sending you recipes instead of cakes?

[abram-saunders]

I JUST THOUGHT OF IT IN MY SLEEP ELIZABETH. She actually didn't even tell me how to do it or anything but Ryker and I ate the whole thing BUT I CAN ALWAYS MAKE YOU ANOTHER ONE AND WE CAN EAT IT TOGETHER. She has been sending me a few recipes to show to our cooking teacher but I haven't done it yet because I don't know if I want to share her secret recipes with the world even though it would be great because I really do miss a lot of her baking and I need it back in my life but I'm also not sure if anybody else can do it like her.

[aprilsxunders-deactivated201603]

april gave him a momentary false chuckle, egging on the conversation. “ abe, as much as i love to hear your ten hour rants. i’d l o v e to see them written down…almost like— ” she dug through her book bag, lifting a copy of jane eyre in abe’s field of vision. “ charlotte bronte !! i mean, since i totally read the book, and all that shit…i think that you’d really really really enjoy it. it’s very…..w o r d y. would help your future career, even !! ”

[abram-saunders]

Abe grinned when he heard her chuckle. "But see, April, that's my issue because I don't like to sit down and write it because it's so much sitting for such long periods of time and you have to be still and you know how much I don't like doing that so I think if I'm going to become some type of fancy writer then I'm going to just record all my thoughts and then have somebody else write them down for me." He nodded, looking at the book. "I had to read that last year but I just read the foot notes for it because it's a pretty big book so I don't think I'll ever actually be able to read other people's stuff for ideas I'll just have to come up with it all on my own, but I really have a lot of good ideas for stories and stuff and when I have to do like allusions and stuff I can allude to Spongebob like I always do because that really just has every day life lessons in that show. But I think you should be better than me and you should read the actual book and write your essay, because if you refer to the episode of Spongebob where he had to write an essay, he procrastinated so long, his pineapple burned down, and I don't want your pineapple to burn down."

[abram-saunders]

For dinner tonight I made me and Ryker a pizza with chicken tenders stuffed into the crust AND IT WAS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER EATEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE I'M GOING TO OPEN MY OWN RESTAURANT.

[aprilsxunders-deactivated201603]

“ oh !! i tuned out almost all of that to prevent my brain from melting. you sound even m o r e complex than my boring book… ” she snorted, quickly coming to a realization as she attempted to process the remainder of her brother’s rambling.. “—i’ve been great, but you sound even better. you almost sound like some of writers we’ve been studying. in fact…has anyone ever told you that you should be a writer ?? ”

[abram-saunders]

"Well that's probably a good idea because if you're spent all day being a good children and reading your book for your book report then your brain is already probably very very close to melting and I don't want to be the reason that you don't finish because I keep talking to you and distracting you! I'm very good! I don't have any essays due at the moment so that makes my day all the time. I DO? THAT'S CRAZY. I KNEW I SOUNDED SMART BECAUSE I YELL ALL THE TIME BECAUSE THE LOUDER YOU TALK THE SMARTER YOU ARE ACCORDING TO SPONGEBOB BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT MADE ME SOUND LIKE A WRITER. All of my English teachers told me the opposite honestly but if you think I can do it, then I'm going to add it to my list of careers and become a Doctor Professor hockey player writer in space instead of just the usual Doctor Professor hockey player in space.”

[bbyviolet]

“I literally had like twenty pieces of candy today, so I insist, take as many as you want!”

[abram-saunders]

"OOH WHAT KIND OF CANDY IS IT? Do you know how long it's been since I had candy? Do you have any of the Hershey's cookies and cream ones? Because those are the best ones. I tried the Godiva version of it the other day and it didn't even beat the Hershey's cookies and cream one so I was very disappointed but also happy because Godiva is so expensive."

[aprilsxunders-deactivated201603]

“ so,  i’ve got this insanely long book report due in two days, b u t it looks like i’ll be ditching jane eyre for some mary jane. ”

[abram-saunders]

“Is Mary Jane a new author? Because if it's due in two days April then I don't think you should switch this late. Because writing book reports is terrible already so if you're already half way done you should just crank it out the rest of the way even though it's pretty much the worst assignment in the history of the world because you have to sit down forever and ever and just write a bunch of stuff and I have so many thoughts in my head all the time it's hard to type them all out at once and according to every single one of my English teachers I 'ramble'. I don't understand them though. HOW ARE YOU SISTER?”