hi. helo. greetings

hi :] [unlabelled, they/them, minor]

[dailycatsblog]

[catchymemes]

[charl0ttan]

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

[hppjmxrgosg]

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

[goslinggf]

i love you rice with some bullshit

[prettymachine]

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

[what-even-is-thiss]

On the local news today they said that they caught a guy who was attacking people with a sword.

Bad for the people who were injured obviously but how often do you see sword crime these days?

[i-suggest-larp]

Do you want to see more sword crime? 👀

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’m amazed by sword crime in the same way I am by a volcanic explosion or a massive storm. Obviously I don’t want this to happen but I can still be in awe of it.

[what-even-is-thiss]

It’s so annoying when I say I have an irrational fear or a phobia and people try to logic me out of it. I just told you that it’s irrational.

[danielwaldorf]

since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo

[aaudreychu]

"Whoa, you finally got one!!" 🛸🛸

[redstonedust]

by default i dont understand people with boobs who argue against freeing the nipple and think top nudity is shameful. but ESPECIALLY i dont understand it when you live somewhere where temperatures can exceed like 80F. youre telling me you havent ever wished it was socially acceptable to walk downtown with your tits out when its hot outside. youre just okay with having to wear shirts in all weather and this doesnt bother you. i simply do not believe you............

[ilythedude]

THE WAY THEY RAN IS SO FUNNY TO ME

[imjunebitch]

when we "lose" a cis butch woman because he becomes a trans man or masc you should actually say such things as yay, yippee, or hooray.

[gecolozard]

[malwareproductions]

hey. you have to love your trans brothers of color okay. and your trans sisters of color. and your nonbinary siblings of color. you have to okay. its simply non-optional

[kairithemang0-fm]

Reblog if you're transmasc, support trans men, or want a chocolate chip cookie

[intlbipolar]

[drtanner]

This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update:

[intlbipolar]

[drtanner]

This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update: