you want to run.

sideblog. things I think to myself.. you are more than your abuse. repeat repeat repeat. asks and submissions welcome.. (ask to tag)

[abusedsuggestions]

hi all! i havent been around for quite some time, but i wanted to let you all know that im still kickin. a lot has happened, i left my 5 year relationship to be with someone else, quit my job, and moved from my hometown in pennsylvania to virginia. i am so much happier now. i feel new. i let go of a lot, emotionally. i realized i used my previous relationship to cope, and while i did love him, i felt stuck. i felt like i was just staying around and taking the next steps because i had to. but i let go of that, and im a lot happier now.

[abusedsuggestions]

on tonight’s episode of i’m a bad fucking person:

why the fuck do i first accidentally lead people on, and then after i realizing i’m doing it, continue to purposefully lead people on!!!!!!!!!

[abusedsuggestions]

it’s been so long.

it’s been years.

i can’t stop thinking about those things.

[abusedsuggestions]

about to make. Bad Decisions™️

[abusedsuggestions]

you’re allowed to be angry at your abuser.

you’re allowed to be fucking furious with them.

you don’t have to forgive your abuser.

[abusedsuggestions]

i don’t want to post about this anywhere else because real people i know follow me everywhere else but i wanted to talk about it so it’s going here.

it’s just like. i’m crying over lore olympus!!!

lore olympus: this chapter contains themes of sexual assault and may be upsetting to some readers

my dumb fucjing ass, for some reason: reads it’s anyway

[abusedsuggestions]

you don’t have to forgive your abuser.

[abusedsuggestions]

i’m in this really weird spot where i was forced to grow up super quickly, to take care of my siblings, so i know how to cook and take care of babies and toddlers and children. i know how to wash clothes and wash dishes and i know what to do when a child gets a cold.

but at the same time i like. don’t know how to do other important adult things? i don’t know how to make a doctors appointment. i don’t know how to get health insurance. i can’t drive.

just. feels bad.

[yekkes]

Eldest sisters r the most oppressed

[celestialinent]

hey yall dumb fucks reblogging this and yapping about how, ur life is actually super hard as a younger sibling…

the ‘eldest sisters are oppressed’ thing is based on the fact that the oldest girls in many families are, a lot of the time, drafted into watching her younger siblings to the point that shes more of a young third parent than a kid anymore. shes expected to be incredibly responsible while her younger siblings get to make mistakes. she get to do more housework than her father because apparently men shouldn’t have to watch laundry.

op is obviously referring to the ways in which older sisters ( nope not brothers) are forced into maternal roles by both society and their parents for a number of reasons, not limited to society’s insistence that they must learn to become mothers early. theres also the fact that many families both need and cant afford childcare. this idea that an oldest sister is free childcare is bullshit.

[kceyagi-deactivated20190519]

There’s a book called “The Eldest Daughter Effect” that goes into detail about this. And it applies to the oldest daughter so even if the oldest child is a boy and the second child is a daughter, she is the one who ends up getting all that extra pressure and responsibilities for younger siblings. 

[abusedsuggestions]

the first thing you should do when a child is crying because they got hurt is scream at them, most definitely 🙄

[abusedsuggestions]

i’m ready to leave this place but i’m stuck, stuck, stuck

[parentless-suggestions]

“wow you’re so mature for your age!!?!?!?!!?!!?!?!!!!”

thanks, i raised me myself

[chryselephantinechaos]

Also see: “aren’t you too old now to be acting like this??!?!?!??!?!?!????”

i never had a real childhood

[zisa-deactivated20240301]

This is usually referred to as parentification.

Parentification is the process of role reversal whereby a child is obliged to act as parent to their own parent.

My therapist just explained this to me a few weeks ago and it has done wonders for better understanding my childhood (and aspects of it that I didn’t even realize had left me traumatized well into my 20′s.)

[parentless-suggestions]

thanks for the explanation im so glad to know there’s a word for it!! 💜

[abusedsuggestions]

i hope your holidays don’t hurt.

i hope you don’t hurt.

[abusedsuggestions]

My abuser got in touch this morning through my parents and I feel like I'm being constantly watched by them. Nowhere is safe to vent. I feel like I can't breathe.

you can always talk to me if you need to. i completely understand how hard it is to see/hear from your abuser again. it’s so awful and i’m so sorry you had to go through that. use your emotions to make yourself powerful. never back down.

[abusedsuggestions]

taking care of myself is so exhausting.

[abusedsuggestions]

Meaningless

you are not important.

you're body has no meaning.

it is merely a canvas.

your memories,

your childhood,

a secret;

you were cold.

it was your fault.

you were destined to be defaced.

you are to be blamed.

deserving.

deserving.

you were deserving of everything you got.

please stop.

you continue.

there are many things you could do that might help you.

hiding under your bed works.

learning to sleep.

pretending.

writing.

writing.

writing.

pretending.

you are cold.

be quiet.

you are worthless.

be quiet.

(a.m.s)

[abusedsuggestions]

hey uh.. haven't touched this blog in awhile. i'm sorry about that.

i've been doing okay. i've been doing things that make me happy. my partner and i just bought a car, so that's really good for when we wanna get away from everything.

but i still want out of this house.

it seems no matter how well i'm doing i could always be doing better. and i want to strive for that.

i guess i'm pushing myself a little harder, which i guess could be good for me. i've started trying to work out. it's hard.

but i'm doing things i like, and things that i'm good at, and it makes me feel good.

but god do i wish i was better. at everything.

and i wish everyone else here is having a better time than me, always, and i wish good days on all of you. i love you guys.