Vampire Unicorn

Throw kindness around like it's confetti!

[moniquill]

[minecraftfaggot]

i've seen people point out how funny it is that wake up dead man has a character played by jeremy renner, while jeremy renner as an actor canonically exists in the universe. but what about noah seagan, who's in every movie? the guy who plays trooper wagner/derol/the devil bar guy? does blanc ever notice than in every single one of his cases there's just That One Guy who looks strangely identical to That Other Guy every time

[dragongirlteeth]

I am shocked at how many people don't have an actively hostile relationship with advertising

[dragongirlteeth]

I am skipping your ads as fast as I can. I'm skipping past your sponsor read. I'm muting the tv. I'm muting the tab. If they get too annoying I will simply stop trying to watch.

If advertisers can use every manipulative trick in the book to get me to buy their product, I am fully within my rights to do everything I can on my end to make their job impossible

[bonehilda-deactivated20250504]

show me another character as comforting as benoit blanc, you simply can't

[iamasaddie-deactivated20251105]

Pedro Pascal, the softie that you are 😭🥹

[nando161mando]

[lavarend]

I thought the oar was his thumb, and thought he was just turned around like “ get a load of this guy?”

[enidsinclair]

#the cutest red-nosed reindeer

[nicostiel]

Glass Onion + Text Posts (part 1)

[erosia-rhodes]

Actual Google results for “World’s Greatest Detective”:

[littleboynamedplatypus]

[inzaghisgirlfriend]

I'm sure it was confusing to have the overtly anti-right wing song off the anti-right wing album altered to target maga. I cannot imagine how shocking it was to find out that the avowedly socialist and openly bisexual punk rock kid who's written songs about distrusting the government since he was four, is an anti-fascist.

[memeuplift]

[bestoftweets]

[profeminist]

[dkpsyhog]

Homophobes: *try to destroy rainbow statue*

Gays: “fine then we’ll make it an actual damn rainbow”

Reblog to put indestructible rainbows everywhere and kill a homophobe

[geeoharee]

Reblogging for the straights wailing in the comments that we shouldn’t generalise

Get executed by the state for a few decades and then we’ll talk about equality

[y5d8z6vz7a-deactivated20180404]

i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

[brodiebutt]

[katherinearandez]

[wsswatson]

[katherinearandez]

I am obligated to reblog this again, because it is now Superwholock, and therefore perfection.

[fatefulfindings]

people need to remember that every tumblr post in 2012 was like this

[penroseparticle]

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

[meduseld]

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

[burntcopper]

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

[bedlamsbard]

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

[marzipanandminutiae]

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

[iguana-sneeze]

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

[ceescedasticity]

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

[copperbadge]

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

[blondegingersaxon]

This post keeps getting better

[kaimaciel]

European problems include:

- Missing a turn and now you need to cross the border;

- Towns built 500 to 800 years ago with really small roads where cars can barely fit;

- That road/parking lot/etc they were building is gonna take twice the time to finish because they found Roman ruins AGAIN!

[abz-j-harding]

European problems extended: 

 WW2 bombs.

[loverofmythology]

I love this post but also hate it because people never acknowledge the structures of native and indigenous people in America and Canada. We literally have pyramids here in Illinois that are thousands of years old.

There is stuff here from the Aztecs, but since it wasn’t made by settlers people think that America is only as old as when Europeans came over.

The population that got wiped out and displaced by Europeans is still here and needs to be acknowledged. America and Canada aren’t “young” and have more history than most ppl acknowledge.

[rivertalesien]

RT only for the last post. 

[meow-moment]

*says a fact in a conversation and a wikipedia citation appears next to my head*

[lazygravez]

*clicks the citation*

[meow-moment]

*text pops up saying “this is not true. He saw this in a youtube video once in 2014 and took it as fact”. the words “youtube video” are underlined and in blue”

[official-lucifers-child]

*clicks on the link*

[arsonistblue]

[garlic-but-gay]

Bitches out here roleplaying internet trolling

[quaiids]