accountability bitch

I have executive dysfunction! hard to do things, so- the void shall be my accountability partner. basically, i will do the same thing every day. or forget about this. either one.

[accountabilitybitch]

About this Sideblog!

Hello! Intro post that is totally not a procrastination!

My name is L, I use They/Them pronouns, and I have adhd and Executive dysfunction.

I figured I would get organized, so this is my side blog for things like rants, discussion of study tactics, accountability posts (such as one from my main I will reblog onto here) and other things like check ins or tricks that have helped or hindered me in my mission to function.

(is this so that the people that followed my main for the adhd have somewhere that isn't taken over by the hyperfixations? yes. This is a more serious place I promise I won't talk in depth about my fanfics here XD)

my main is @that-tall-queer-bassist , but be aware the block men have a chokehold on me and by brain is rotting with fic ideas and canon plot information.

If you'd like to ask me anything, be it about experiences or a method you want to try/know more about, my ask box is open!!

Remember to take care of yourself, and to prioritize your health.

(i will be blocking anyone who is openly bigoted, cruel, or asks insensitive questions trying to get a reaction. Kindness is a choice, however respect will be given until proven that it is not reciprocated.)

[howtomusicmajor]

How to Handle Having TOO MUCH To Do

So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!

Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.

Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.

Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks

Your priority goes like this:

5 minutes due YESTERDAY

5 minutes due TOMORROW

Half-hour due YESTERDAY

Half-hour due TOMORROW

Hours due YESTERDAY

Hours due TOMORROW

5 minutes due LATER

Half-hour due LATER

Hours due LATER

DAYS due YESTERDAY

DAYS due TOMORROW

DAYS due LATER

At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.

Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.

So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.

You’ve got this. Get a drink and start - we can do our stuff together!

[allydsgn]

WOAH THIS SOUNDS HELPFUL. I’M GOING TO TRY THIS IMMEDIATELY. Also, I made a chart for myself, but if anyone else wants it for reference (or if this is wrong and I misread you can tell me) here it is:

[twiceroyaldove]

This is wonderful and I ended up tweaking it to make another version that works for me as a task organizer for work projects. So it’s less geared toward “oh no I have ten things that all need to get done RIGHT NOW” and more toward “okay I have 25 things in my inbox and I just don’t know where to start” (aka ADHD brain)

The numbers aren’t in a super logical/elegant order because I tried it out for a couple days and moved the numbers around until they matched my actual priorities. (It’s not 100% perfect of course, but that’s fine because it’s just supposed to give me a recommendation so I can skip past the task paralysis! If I want to go out of order I can do that.)

Then I built myself a whole excel workbook with formulas to do all of the thinking and sorting for me, and then of course I went down a whole big rabbit hole of extra features and automatic sorting and it was at this point that I thought I should share it with more people so the ridiculous amount of time I spent on it would be a little more justified

So here’s a link to a google drive folder if anyone wants to try this out! The basics work okay in google sheets but some features only really work in excel.

There are 2 excel files in the folder, one based on the original 12-level priority chart and one for the 16-level chart that I’m using. Each one has three sheets: “Task List” is the screenshot above with all the bells and whistles, “Simple Task List” hides some of the unnecessary columns so that it’s less overwhelming, and “Priority” is where you can define your different priority levels. You can edit any of the numbers in that sheet to whatever works for you, all of the formulas should still work!

If you have any questions about how to edit this to work best for you, or you accidentally broke a formula or something, feel free to DM me :) I hope this is helpful for some people!! It’s been really helpful for me.

(I’ll probably also make a new post that’ll show up in adhd tags etc)

[magz]

ID.

Image 1. 3 by 5 grid template version for the Task categorization, described by OP. Rows: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow. Columns: 5 minutes, 30 minutes, Hours, Days.

Image 2. A different 4 by 4 grid template with more task categorization. Rows: Overdue, Today/Tomorrow, 5 work days, Later. Columns: Within 15 minutes, 45 minutes, 90 minutes, Longer.

Image 3. Screenshot of a decorated Google Sheet, for task categorization and priority - inspired by the post.

End ID.

[kerink]

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

[themythicalcodfish]

OP this is EXCELLENT

[whatbigotspost]

Now THAT’S a self care resource! If you’ve gotten distracted by capitalism’s appropriation of “self-care” and watering the meaning down to nothing this is a super helpful guide to cut through the bullshit.

[disabled-dragoon]

[ID: Two sheets of a white worksheet with black writing. The worksheet is title "Self-Care Assessment". There are eight sections to the worksheet and 5-15 statements in each section. There is space at the beginning of each statement to write a number. A key at the top of the worksheet explains what each number means. /end]

[Text ID:

Sheet 1:

Title: Self-Care Assessment

The following worksheet for assessing self-care is not exhaustive, merely suggestive. Feel free to add areas of self-care that are relevant for you and rate yourself on how often and how well you are taking care of yourself these days. When your are finished, look for patterns in your responses. Are you more active in some areas of self-care? Do you tend to ignore others? Are there items on the list that hadn't even occurred to you? Listen to your internal responses and dialogue about self-care, and take note of anything you would like to prioritize moving forward.

In a box: Rate the following areas according to how well you think you are doing....

3 = I do this well (e.g. frequently) 2 = I do this OK (e.g. occasionally) 1 =I barely or rarely do this 0 = I never do this ? =This never occurred to me /box ends

Physical Self-Care

__ Eat regularly (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) __ Get regular medical care for prevention __ Get medical care when needed __ Take time off when sick __ Wear clothes I like __ Do some fun physical activity __ Think positive thoughts about my body

__ Exercise __ Eat healthily __ Get massages __Take Vacations __ Get enough sleep __ Do some fun artistic activity __ (Other) ______________________________

Psychological Self-Care

__ Take day trips or mini-vacations __ Have my own personal psychotherapy __ Make time away from technology/internet __ Read something unrelated to work __ Notice my thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and feelings __ Engage my intelligence in a new way or area __ Do something at which I am not expert

__ Make time for self-reflection __ Write in a journal __ Attend to minimizing life stress __ Be curious __ Say no to extra responsibilities __ Be okay leaving work at work __ (Other) _______________________________

Emotional Self-Care

__ Spend time with people whose company I enjoy __ Stay in contact with important people in my life __ Re-read favourite books, re-view favourite movies __ Identify and seek out comforting activities/places __ Express my outrage in social action or discussion

__ Love yourself __ Allow myself to cry __ Give myself affirmation/praise __ Find things that make me laugh __ (Other) _______________________________

Sheet 2:

Spiritual Self-Care

__ Make time for reflection __ Find a spiritual connection or community __ Be aware of non-material aspects of life __ Try at times not to be in charge or the expert __ Identify what is meaningful to me __ Seek out reenergizing or nourishing experiences __ Contribute to causes in which I believe __ Read or listen to something inspirational

__ Spend time in nature __ Be open to inspiration __ Cherish my optimism and hope __ Be open to knowing __ Meditate __ Find time for prayer or praise __ Have experiences of awe __ (Other) ________________________________

Relationship Self-Care

__ Schedule regular dates with my partner __ Call, check on, or see my relatives __ Share a fear, hope, or secret with someone I trust __ Stay in contact with faraway friends __ Make time for personal correspondence __ Allow others to do things for me

__ Make time to be with friends __ Ask for help when I need it __ Communicate with my family __ Enlarge my social circle __ Spend time with animals __ (Other) ________________________________

Workplace or Professional Self-Care

__ Take time to chat with coworkers __ Identify projects/tasks that are exciting __ Balance my load so that nothing is "way too much" __ Arrange work space to be comfortable __ Get regular supervision or consultation __ Negotiate/advocate for my needs

__ Make quiet time to work __ Take a break during the day __ Set limits with my boss/peers __ Have a peer support group __ Identify rewarding tasks __ (Other) _________________________________

Overall Balance

__ Strive for balance within my work-life and work day __ Strie for balance among my family, friends, and relationships __ Strive for balance between play and rest __ Strive for balance between work/service and personal time __ Strive for balance in looking forward and acknowledging the moment

Areas of Self-Care that are Relevant to You

__ (Other) _________________________________ __ (Other) _________________________________ __ (Other) _________________________________

Adapted from the Saakvitne, Pearlman, & Staff of TSI/CAAP (1996). Transforming the Pain: A Workbook of Vicarious Traumatization. Norton. Adapted by Lisa D. Butler, PhD. /end]

[accountabilitybitch]

haven't used this blog in a hot minute, but i think i need to rn

SO

I have 2 (two) tasks of the unpleasant variety to do tonight. Once i'm done, I shall reward myself by being indulgent in something (dunno what yet)

I am giving myself... 45 minutes to finish the first, and an additional hour to do the second because it takes longer.

I will try to check in when i've Finished The Things

[accountabilitybitch]

first task completed!

other news (unsure if good or bad, so just news xD) i have realized the second task can be broken up into two, less threatening pieces, so i'm going to do the bigger one tonight, and the smaller one tomorrow.

[accountabilitybitch]

DONE

[accountabilitybitch]

haven't used this blog in a hot minute, but i think i need to rn

SO

I have 2 (two) tasks of the unpleasant variety to do tonight. Once i'm done, I shall reward myself by being indulgent in something (dunno what yet)

I am giving myself... 45 minutes to finish the first, and an additional hour to do the second because it takes longer.

I will try to check in when i've Finished The Things

[accountabilitybitch]

first task completed!

other news (unsure if good or bad, so just news xD) i have realized the second task can be broken up into two, less threatening pieces, so i'm going to do the bigger one tonight, and the smaller one tomorrow.

[accountabilitybitch]

haven't used this blog in a hot minute, but i think i need to rn

SO

I have 2 (two) tasks of the unpleasant variety to do tonight. Once i'm done, I shall reward myself by being indulgent in something (dunno what yet)

I am giving myself... 45 minutes to finish the first, and an additional hour to do the second because it takes longer.

I will try to check in when i've Finished The Things

[ace-and-ranty]

I gotta say, one of the greatest achievements of my 20s was that I learned (mostly) to differentiate between:

"I truly do not want to go" and

"I'm just feeling the Demand Avoidance, and I will like it once I get there."

[ace-and-ranty]

Well, goodness, this one resonated much more than I was expecting. I mean, I get it. My mind was also blown wide open when I found out "demand avoidance" was a thing that existed, and that I'm not the only weirdo in the world who suddenly wishes it wasn't her birthday after anxiously waiting for her birthday for days.

Loads of people in the tags are asking how I do it? I feel this won't be groundbreaking advice, but here is what I have learned:

Previous experience. Really no way around it. Now that I hit thirty, I feel like I have done enough things to know, intellectually, from experience, what will feel nice if I overcome the avoidance, and what won't. For example, every time I go to the beach, I wake up early and would rather eat a tire than get off the bed. But I remember that every time I got up and went to the beach, I was glad I did it. So I just get up, feeling like shit, and get ready, feeling like shit, and I get to the beach and magic!! I feel great, I love the beach!! Sometimes you just gotta do it scared feeling kinda like shit.

Am I avoiding the thing or getting to the thing? I have a lot of demand avoidance around just, y'know, getting up, getting ready and going out the door. Universal human experience. If I notice that doing the actual thing (Swim in the pool!) sounds nice, but I'm avoiding having to rally myself to go do that (Fetch swimsuit! Sunscreen! Towel!), then I know it's demand avoidance and I should just fucking go.

Is the thing making me feel excited at all or just anxious? I have had previous occasions when I did the opposite; I convinced myself it was just demand avoidance when I really just. Hated the thing. And wanted to stop. If you feel a mix of excitement and dread, or excitement and anxiety, that might be demand avoidance. But if thinking of doing the thing just makes you feel actively anxious, then yeah. You don't want to do the thing.

Do the thing a little bit. Used often with dishes. I've seen this advice float around Tumblr a lot and it's correct. Commit to doing just a bit of the thing; a little bit of the thing; the smallest bit of the thing you can do. Getting started will make it clear right away if you don't want to do it (and in that case, you have permission to stop), or if you just having trouble getting started.

[arcnoise]

some time ago i introduced the phrase "food pact" to my friends as a shorthand for "i'll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food" and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo

[arcnoise]

the best part of this is when you ask "who wants to do a shower pact" and you get a half dozen friends all rolling up saying "the pact is sealed". faustian behavior

[accountabilitybitch]

How to feel like a person again

listen to a new song

eat or drink something that you don't like, and revel in the feeling

read something new

watch a video essay on a topic you haven't thought about before

do one small hygiene thing to make yourself feel just a bit better

change your sheets

rearrange something like a bookshelf, or a playlist

be creative - write, paint, draw, sculpt, knit, pick your poison

stretch, take your time doing it

fill a page with doodles or words, whichever you prefer

lay on the floor for a few minutes

dance, however it feels right

read poetry, and let it resonate within yourself

open a window

sit in a bathtub or shower

try to find a pattern in nature (shapes in the cloud, symmetry of leaves, etc..)

I'm going to update this as I discover more, but doing just three of these has made me feel better.

I love you <3

[paradoxlemonade]

ADHD PRO TIP: if your space continually ends up cluttered, then your stuff is probably too difficult to put away or includes too many steps.

Let me explain.

Our brains can only handle so many steps in a task before the "eh, I'll do it later" instinct kicks in. When this happens, we set the object down on the nearest flat surface and let it pile up. Once it's down, it becomes scenery and we stop worrying about it (...until the clutter becomes stressful).

I have art supplies under my bed that can only be accessed by taking everything else out from under there first. Once I've done that and used my item, I never want to put it back because it's an entire ordeal. "I'll do it later." Yeah no the fuck I won't.

The solution was one of these bad boys:

Wheels so it can be moved around, clear so I can see what's in it, and separate drawers so I can store multiple types of objects separately. It's much easier to toss something back in the drawer than rearrange the underside of my bed for the fifth time.

Another example is laundry. It's practically a universal experience that ADHD people will move the laundry basket around our room instead of actually putting the clothes away. I do it frequently. While I can't eliminate that entirely, I can mitigate it for one simple reason: I hang up my shirts. Why have I been folding my shirts to put them in the basket, only to unfold them to hang them up? It's way more effective to just bring a bunch of hangers to the laundry room with me and go straight from dryer to hanger to closet.

The less steps a cleaning task has, the more likely we are to get it done.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

[accountabilitybitch]

trying a new Study Technique

The theory behind this: dopamine mining (aka, switching between easy to complete and engaging fulfilling tasks (i think?) to make it easier to get progress done in a difficult to start/stay with/finish area)

Tools:

Timer (deadline and initiator)

three google docs open on mostly black tab list/section on computer

music through noise muffling headphones

body doubling (sitting in a crowded space (im stealing their motivation for myself /j)

accountability

End time (2 pm, one hour from now)

Switching between one (of two options) doc of fun writing and one doc with my essay, with a switch off every 10 minutes

Both are writing, to keep the groove.

[accountabilitybitch]

Trying to reason with myself like my adhd is a stubborn toddler.

“All you have to do is write one essay paragraph, and then you can write one fic paragraph. Okay? Sound fair?”

Ill let you guess how well thats going *rolls eyes*

[accountabilitybitch]

Assignment Time/effort baseline

Do I have enough time to finish that essay if it's due tomorrow? How long will it take to read the assigned chapter? I didn't know! Now I do :) [Disclaimer: this is my average, and can and will vary. It may look very different from your own and that's okay.]

Assigned reading (short studies/articles/papers): 5-10 minutes

- +5 minutes per reading if notes/questions on topic is required.

Assigned Short Story: 15 minutes

- 2 breaks for processing/notes.

Assigned Chapter Reading: 1 hour for full length chapters

- 4 breaks for processing/notes, and to relieve headache.

Short Essay (1 page/200-500 words): 15-25 minutes

- 10 minutes for bulk of writing, 5 for editing, additional 10 minutes if a quotation is required.

Full Length Essay (3-6 pages or 1-2k words) : 90-120 minutes

- without research, 60 minutes for rough draft, 20 minutes for content editing, 5 minutes for structure editing, +10 minutes per quotation, ???? for citations. I have yet to figure that shit out. idk man.

- +30 minutes for basic/supplied research (book report, essay on class topic, etc..) +60-90 minutes of research for individual research/outsourced topics

Short Presentation (3-5 minutes long): 60 minutes

- 30 minutes for research, 10 minutes for notes/cue cards/structuring presentation, 20 minutes for practice.

Presentations on Chapters/Big Topics (5-15 minutes long): 135-195 minutes

- 60-120 minutes for research/note compiling, 10 minutes for presentation structuring, 20 minutes for notes to turn in, 45 minutes for practice.

[accountabilitybitch]

Work sprint(s)

I just need to rush the rough drafts and get the bulk of it done so i have time for editing and printing tomorrow. Yes, this is a list of all the steps. Hush.

Research

key concepts considered/thoughts on it- for presentation part

write up

edit write up

edit for structure/format

print article

print essay

staple and put in folder

practice the presentation bit

turn in stapled essay.

present.

reward myself somehow

[accountabilitybitch]

01/29/23

Homework goals:

Read chapter on Maine from Nickel and Dimed

write reaction/review. MLA format, 1 page.

re-read short story.

write review/reaction. 200 word min.

psychology presentation research (type tomorrow)

[mothric]

executive dysfunction is telling yourself for two and a half hours that you need to shower bc you smell like your workplace and you absolutely Cannot do Anything Else until you shower, doing Any Other Thing before showering is illegal!!! but you still haven’t for some reason??? you’ve just been sitting on your bed in a towel scrolling tumblr for 2+ hours thinking “I need to shower right now immediately” and growing increasingly frustrated that you are still not clean and you haven’t eaten or done your laundry either

[mothric]

ok actually no I’m reblogging this because a) I am clean now (and I smell amazing, thank you), and b) I had a heckin Realize and I wanted to share it with y’all in the hopes it’ll help someone else with a brain like mine.

I figured something out about myself a long time ago– it’s only just now occurred to me that I was in fact solving a problem caused by executive dysfunction, and I haven’t been implementing this solution lately because my brain went “that’s a relatively new term to me and therefore a Different problem that requires a Different solution”. thanks a lot, brain.

anyway, long long ago, before I knew these fancy schmancy Official words, the problem, as I phrased it to myself, was such: 

sometimes I get Stuck. I was doing something, or on my way to doing something, and then… I just. got stuck.

“Stuck” looks like refreshing my feed or dashboard repeatedly. or it looks like staring at a spot on the wall. or chewing my fingernails. or picking at a stubborn sticker. all the while, my brain drifts through various unrelated topics I wouldn’t be able to recall if asked. sometimes I can get Stuck for hours before realizing I am Stuck. sometimes I get so Stuck that I go to bed that way (feeling especially bad for being unproductive) and I have to just reset everything by sleeping.

one day I asked myself, “why is this happening? why am I stuck, right now, at this moment in time?” the answer, as it turns out, was pretty simple: I was trying to make a decision, and I got distracted. I haven’t moved forward because I haven’t answered that one question or made up my mind.

let me rephrase this in terms of executive dysfunction: many people have expressed that it feels like knowing you need to do a thing but not feeling “ready” to do it. many with ADHD may also be familiar with the feeling of needing things to be “just so” before you embark on a task- you need your setup to look a certain way, or you need to set a timer, or have the right music playing, etc.

when I get Stuck it’s often because I got lost somewhere in that setting-up process, and my brain took the opportunity to nyoom off into Distraction Town.

getting myself Unstuck is solved, 95% of the time, by tracing my steps back to the original decision I was trying to make- often something small and inane- and then troubleshooting from there. (out loud! verbal processing is totally punk.) 

“what was I trying to do?” 

“was I trying to decide between two things?” 

(the answer’s usually yes.) 

“what were they?” 

“okay, let’s decide. 

“okay, that’s settled. let’s move on.”

and then I am free as a bird to nyoom in the direction of The Thing I Wanted To Do All Along, in the amazingly disorganized, scattered, yet rapid-fire way that I do many things.

so!!! in the case of my first post, where I hadn’t showered for 2 hours? turns out I had been trying to decide what music to listen to in the shower. (another hack: my chances of getting Stuck while showering decrease by 75% if I have music playing to help me keep track of time.) I couldn’t immediately make up my mind, got lost in thought, got distracted, and drifted. once I stopped and asked- “why am I stuck?”-  then I remembered- “oh yeah! I wanted to listen to music”-  and then decided- “I want to listen to Daft Punk’s Discovery album”- I was finally heckin able to shower. and also eat, and also throw my clothes in the dryer.

and may I add I only zoned out once, during the slow part of “One More Time.” :P

I’m not saying this is a foolproof method. sometimes I don’t have a reason for being stuck, and that’s okay! I’m also not saying this is how every adhd brain works. it’s just how my brain works, and I’m sure there’s at least a few who can relate. for those few, I hope this helps!!

[mothric]

a lot of people are reblogging the original post without the update and leaving frustrated comments and that makes me sad! if I can find ways to hack my brain than so can you! executive dysfunction is a real and frustrating challenge, but don’t buy the lie that there’s no way to work with it or around it!!!

[sometimesyouhavetobebrave]

!!!!