Asexual Inquiries

Ask a Panromantic Asexual Anything!

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[aceasks]

Hi ^^ I have a friend who has been labeling themself as asexual but they're recently having doubts. They're a bit too shy and get judged too often to approach blogs like these themself or to talk about it with people they don't already know, hence me asking in their stead

The reason they're having doubts about their asexuality is that he has felt aroused by fictional characters before (Though not their R34 art or art of them naked or anything like that).

Any light you can shed on this would be appreciated ^^ Their doubts are really distressing them

Asexuality is a spectrum, and your friend might be somewhere in the Grey-Ace sphere. It's difficult because asexuality is sort of it's own entity beside/inside of the queer community. One's orientation and feelings about things can also change over time. I know people who were ace forever and all of a sudden there was a switch in their brain and they just weren't anymore, and vice versa. Everyone's experiences vary and are valid.

On the topic of your friend's interest in fictional characters: Arousal is a physiological response to stimuli. The simplest way I've found to explain it is when boys/amabs are going thru puberty, they'll get random boners out of nowhere, even if there's nothing around to cause it. Getting aroused is not the same as sexual attraction. There are plenty of aces who enjoy adult content and get off on it.

Checking out the forums at AVEN might help your friend out, it certainly did for me!

The Asexual Visbility and Education Network hosts the world's largest online asexual community and archive of resources on asexuality

[aceasks]

Hey, question. HELP.

I’ve been out and asexual for 4-5 years now.

I recently got off a medication (anxiety)— which I only took for 1 1/2 years ish, maybe 2?

I’ve been off for two or three months now (feeling great!!) except now I experience attraction. I think.

I think it is.

I’ve never felt this before and I don’t really know what to do with it. I feel weird— almost gross. Wrong. I never liked the idea before and now— well, now people are. Hot???? What???

Help. What do you do when you find out that hey, maybe you’re not ace??

Five. Years.

(After all the stuff I’ve gotten about “you’ll feel it eventually” and “how do you know you really are? Maybe you haven’t found the right person?” I feel like a traitor. Like I failed. I was going to prove them wrong. I knew myself so well. And now? Where am I? Who am I??)

Sorry to be a traitor to my people. During pride month no less. 😭

Help?

Hey! Sounds like you're going through a lot, and that can be scary! I didn't get horny at all until my late 20's and all of a sudden I'd get randomly horny over basically nothing. I eventually figured out that it happened when I am ovulating, but I felt like my body had betrayed me! It can be a huge adjustment for sure, and I'm still getting used to it.

One of the most very awesome things about the Ace community is that we fully acknowledge that orientation and attraction are a Spectrum, and can change over time :D You are absolutely not a 'traitor.'

I highly recommend checking out AVEN and the related forums. They were pivotal to my understanding of being ace and finding community and answers when I first found out that asexuality was even a thing.

Hopefully this helps, but feel free to reach out if you feel the need to ^.^

The Asexual Visbility and Education Network hosts the world's largest online asexual community and archive of resources on asexuality

[my-2nd-account]

[aceasks]

I mean. As a fellow 'anterior pelvic tilt' haver, standing/sitting 'properly' causes stress on my joints and can cause muscle tension build-up.

Connor almost definitely doesn't struggle to the degree I do, since he works out and his lower abdominals are stronger and this more supportive of the tilt.

[hakobore]

When you’re ace but didn’t know it yet

[aceasks]

Fact.

[aceasks]

Anybody have questions for me?

[berryartistic]

                💜🖤 aspec people are lgbtqiap+!  💜🖤

in this series:   ♠ intro to ace week   ♠ ace people are lgbtqiap+  👁️‍🗨️   ♠ ace doesn’t mean celibate      ♠ attraction and repulsion are different things   ♠ having or wanting sex doesn’t make you less ace     ♠ navigating enjoyable sex with low libido and repulsion     ♠ acearo intersection (and conclusion)

thank you for all the support on my intro comic to this ace-week miniseries! tomorrow’s topic will be about how asexuality is not remotely the same as celibacy or “not wanting to have sex”

I hope you’ll continue to join me through this week; maybe you’ll learn something new!

✨ my other comics // my twitter // support ✨

[aceasks]

Well answered questions! I love when people are able to make comics about stuff like this because it not only makes it more widely understood, but people are more likely to engage in it and seek new information. Well done!

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Dean’s room in 14x03. Feel free to use for confrontation/analysis purposes.

(Has there ever been so little weapons?)

[purgatory-jar]

I’m so curious about what kind of books he has

[aceasks]

Okay, but what about that funky looking vent?

[consulting-cannibal]

this made me sad so i do what i do best and turned it into something ridiculous because they’re both very smart creatures but they’re also not…very smart creatures 

[aceasks]

Oh man! I laughed so loud, and then failed to adequately explain why it was funny to my brother.

[thepiscesactor-deactivated20121]

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

[minotaursauce]

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

[xaldien]

“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.

[minotaursauce]

Yowch, disgusting.

[samuraiko]

If I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.

[glory-of-hera-blog]

Always reblog this

[nygmobblepot-der-pool-deactivat]

If you Dont reblog this if u see it then i cant call u my friend

[witchofthefuture]

IF ANYONE TELLS ME THAT MEN CAN’T BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RAPE, I AM SICKENED BY THEIR MERE PRESENCE ON MY BLOG.

If you disagree with me, unfollow my blog, block me and never look at my blog again.

If you want to debate about this or send anon’s about this, I will reply but your actions have consequences.

[witchofthefuture]

Out of 19000+ followers I have, only one of you actually reblogged about this issue, yet a lot of you have reblogged and liked a picture by playboy about catcalling and that how men should never do it.

Additionally, I have received abuse in my ask box (which I will be answering when I can) and threats. In particular death threats and rape threats.

I can see the real problem here already. Male domestic violence and rape is just invisible in our society because we don’t want to talk about this because it just damages the status quo of this fucking website.

[tarothy-deactivated20230301]

I’m a male victim of child sexual abuse. We matter. Please, reblog this.

[happerbunny-deactivated20211002]

Please never forget male victims are real and it can happen to everyone/anyone

[smolkingofhell]

I’m a boy , and when i was younger I was sexually assaulted every damn day for three years by my younger step SISTER, So don’t go saying that ‘boys can’t be raped’ bull shit

[yviinfinite-deactivated20181014]

This is so important. That kinda shit can happen to everybody

[biyorozu]

Anybody can be raped, and anybody can be a rapist

[fuckyeahsexeducation]

List of Non-sexual forms of intimacy

[incapableofgivingup]

watchingtv/movies together

going to events together like carnivals, festivals etc.

going on dates like to the movies or shopping

sharing secrets

hugs

sharing drinks

phone calls

talking

touching noses

cuddling

philosophical discussions

hand holding

sharing jokes

sharing smiles

laying your head on someone’s shoulder

linking arms

massages

tickling

playing with hair

scratching backs

tracing designs on arms

talking about the future

a hand written note

moving your head to their chest and listening to their heartbeat.

singing together or playing instruments together

dancing

feeding each other

drawing/writing on one another

brushing your partners hair

sharing food

sitting knee to knee across from each other

doing beauty treatments like facials or manicures, hairdying or face masks

reading books together

take care of your partner when sick

talking about the relationship (how I feel with you, How I feel w/ this relationship)

cooking together

head-scratches

hugging

discussions about yourselves (like flaws, shortcomings, passions, stuff)

being physically/emotionally vulnerable

just sleeping together,

an actual open honest conversation

bathing and taking care of hygiene together

butterfly kisses

nuzzling

telling on-the-fly stories

meditating or sharing spirituality

grooming

sharing hobbies

studding

sharing personal stories

shaving

seeing each other without make-up or all dressed up

moral support for major events

crying, sharing emotions, comforting each other

listening to someones heartbeat or breathing

camping/hiking

sleepovers

being with animals together

going on trips together

sharing clothes/jewelry/personal items

sharing online social media

cleaning someone else’s living space

going with them to a doctor/therapist

doing art together

kissing different body parts

making out

volunteer together

work together

talking about wants and desires

experience new things together

do an extracurricular together

play games together

play sports together

walking together

being respectful and kind to one another (helping them do things, open doors for them etc.)

sharing responsibilities (chores, babysitting etc.)

giving each other presents, special things from the heart

talking about and respecting each others boundaries

public displays of affection

grooming in front of each other

wrestling or play fighting

texting/talking online

looking in each other’s eyes

complimenting each other

falling asleep over skype or chat

making faces at each other

sky watching

write poetry

inside jokes

respect each other

tell them how you feel about them

get to know each other better (playing 20 questions)

go for a ride together

close your eyes and memorise each others faces with your fingers

walk arm in arm

make a playlist together

make up your own words or slang

go out to eat

list each other’s best features

bring your faces close without touching and feel each other breath

go shopping together

throw a party or other event together

leave love notes

exercise together

exchange something meaningful

try to have a whole conversation with only eye contact and facial expressions

sit back to back and feel each other’s heartbeat

learn their favorite food and make it

run errands together

look at photos together

take photos together

go people watch

have a staring contest

learn something new together

take turns leading each other on a nature walk blindfolded

get to know each others family and friends

draw or sculpt each other

paint each other’s bodies

play with kids together

practicing a skill together

sharing food

being in comfortable clothes together

waving goodbye

being comfortable with each other’s bodily functions

any others you can think of?

[biro-ace-of-hearts-blog]

For aces everywhere!

[aceasks]

*hums*

So I’m still around, peeps! I’m open to any and all questions! Pllleeeaaasssseee send some! Even if it’s not even about my orientation! Something totally mundane! *whispers*loveme*whipsers*

[ratvents-deactivated20180822]

I feel like a lot of people don’t want to ask questions they have about gender/sexuality to LGBT people because they don’t want to offend them because we talk about cishet people asking stupid or intrusive questions a lot

But actually when you’re questioning it’s really helpful to be able to ask some ‘stupid’ questions although you’re too afraid to

So can y'all LGBTQIA+ people reblog this if you’re totally fine with people asking questions about your gender/sexuality, as long as they do so respectfully

[aceasks]

This what I'm here for!

[sweetfrosti]

Less queer struggles more queer snuggles 

[aceasks]

I'm all about dem snuggles!

[txmriddlx]

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

[aceasks]

Yes, yes, and yes! ^(^.^)^

[orcshaming]

when you spend enough time looking at unnecessarily gendered products it starts to become clear that the only two real genders are pink and black, so from now on i’m going to ask heterosexual couples which one of them is the stuart semple and which one of them is the anish kapoor

[blazingjaya]

SCREAMING

[aceasks]

New best thing!

[yesplzbread]

cowpunk.

[lord-kitschener]

My neyme is cowe, And wenn it’s daye, The farmer-mann is far-awaye, And busey with somme othyr junc, So I meete my fryend I greete the punk

[lord-kitschener]

My neyme is punk, And in the nighte, I playe musick And Nazis fyte. And evr'y day (for tis my vow!) I meete my fryend, The lovley cowe