#asexual asks

[aspec-advice]

I have a partner we've been together for over a year but I'm starting to wonder if im actually romantically attracted to her. I don't really know what romantic atraction is but I still want to do all those things that couples do (minus the allosexual stuff). Do you know a good way to describe the difference? Is there any?

hello! i've kind of always struggled with explaining romantic attraction especially when i'm not in a relationship currently but i will try my best! for me, romantic attraction always starts with just wanting to be around that person and feeling good around them and there's typically like a nervousness i feel at the beginning, but, when i'm in a relationship with that person and i get more comfortable romantic attraction tends to feel like just comfort and warmth and feeling safe and happy! the only real way i can describe the difference between romantic and platonic attraction is that i don't want to kiss my friends but i would want to kiss my partner. i think because you still want to do the things that couples do and you and your partner have been together for so long it might just be that you've gotten really comfortable with being with her and are trying to think of why you shouldn't be, i know that i've done that in a few relationships i've had. i'm not on the aromantic spectrum so i will try to get nyx to comment on this as well, but in the meantime, i hope this helped! and if you have any more questions you could always send me a message here or send another ask!

mars

[icylemonade]

Ok so can one get aroused by someone but still not be sexually attracted to them ??

[ebullience42]

Can some wonderful ace/aro person please clarify to me that asexual means not feeling sexual attraction but it’s perfectly valid to be ace and also occasionally want to engage in sexual behaviours? Because that’s the only thing stopping me from realising I’m asexual

Disclaimer that you’re valid af if you’re sex repulsed or not and I love you

[squiddokiddo]

7. 🖤 What's your favourite asexual stereotype?

🖤🤍💜

Hi, thanks for the ask. :)

I think my favourite stereotypes are "Asexuals love dragons, cake and garlic bread"

[solarishashernoseinabook]

9, 10, and 14 for the ace asks? 🖤🤍💜

thank you! 🖤🤍💜

9. 💜 cake or garlic bread? Garlic bread! I mean cake is very good but i'm also super picky about which cakes I have and can't have too much at once but damn i could gorge myself on garlic bread and be content

(though i am lactose intolerant and if you ask me that's acephobic damnit 😤)

10. 🖤 what made you realize that you were asexual? It was very much a slow process. I heard about the term first in my early twenties and was wondering what it was like and was finding myself frustrated trying to imagine, cuz how could someone have less interest in sex than i did??

...somehow it still took me a few months from there on to realise that maybe, just maybe, I was asexual too

14. 🤍 do you wear an ace ring? I don't actually! I consider my ace-ness and aro-ness equally important so if I got an ace ring it would only be if I could get an aro ring at the same time or got an aro-ace ring. Course that comes with the whole issue of finding a good quality ring that covers both identities lol

🖤🤍💜 Link to the ask game if you want to play! 🖤🤍💜

[chrysanthemumpink]

This is going to sound strange but does any other asexual person suffer from vaginismus? Like how common is it for asexual people with vaginas?

[thesevenumbrellas]

if i’m heteromantic but asexual does that still make me straight?

Nope it makes you asexual! If you’d like to identify as straight of course that’s your choice but asexuality is still part of you. 💕 Straight would be being heteromantic and heterosexual. You’re asexual and that’s valid.