*Laughing in the Distance* @acemagicwand - Tumblr Blog

the craziest thing about The Streaming Wars is that there’s literally no reason it had to be like this

can you imagine if the music industry had gone down this path and every record label had their own bespoke streaming service and you had to pay separate subscription fees to listen to Universalify and Sonyfy and EMIfy and Virginify if you wanted to listen to different artists

kermitlesbian

Tallsbian saga(so far!) in order!

neothesamoyed

Someone REALLY wanted takeout

onceiwashere

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

onceiwashere

i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i

library-mermaid-blog

I am laughing so hard oh my god clickhole

mysharona1987

lake-shark

the concept of how sir arthur conan doyle was as a person always sends me into fits. imagine making the most famous literary character of all time but you hate the character so much you try to kill him off. but everyone is so horny for this asshole detective they make you bring him back. even your own mother gets mad when he’s dead because she likes him. raising your prices to ridiculous rates to avoid writing holmes stories backfired and now you’re rich. it’s absolutely a pain because it’s keeping you from your true passion which is spiritualism despite how one of your good friends harry houdini keeps telling you it’s bullshit. you consider your best novels to be historical ones but they’re well over shadowed by the nemesis of your own creation sherlock fucking holmes. some fake photographs from some kids convinced you faeries were real and you wrote a whole book about it. you started writing stories in medical school. and yes, also you are a doctor. after you’re dead, they erect a statue of sherlock holmes across the street from your birthplace, causing you to probably roll over one hundred eighty degrees in your grave and scream into your casket pillow.

vile-things

mistersmokinganddrinking-deacti

The vibe station…..

kmspice

*sticks fingers in the table holes*

sharkpilot

*gets fingers stuck and quietly tries to subtly pull them out so people don’t realize but that shit hurts like a bitch, so its hard to keep your cool.“

bitchyblue

Sometimes you have experiences that you don’t think much about, but also assume nobody else has had them and a post like this comes around and it’s like getting kicked in the face

distinguishedbaloney

babyanimalgifs

pukicho

One of the best

wattpadfic-deactivated20170213

me: *clicks a settings menu*

my family: love having a tech expert in the house :)

everythingfox

Not sure what this is but I love him

youlovetoseeit

it disappeared

kaijuno

I hit a pothole (a Michigan pothole so basically a sinkhole) today and my check engine light came on. I don’t have one of those computer plugins to reset the light and I knew it was just a sensor that got knocked so I was just like “well let’s see if this works” and on the way home I swerved and hit the pothole again and the check engine light turned off

nonlinear-nonsubjective

shencomix

catsi

I was at work and I had the hiccups and I was stocking an aisle and this lady in the aisle heard me hiccuping and said "oh have you got the hiccups?" and I said yeah and she said "...Do you want me to get rid of them?" and I thought she meant she was going to scare me so I was like "n-no thanks" and she was like "you want to keep your hiccups??" and I said "yeah please dont scare me" and then I wandered off

And then a couple minutes later I still had hiccups and she walked by on her way out and she said "I wasn't going to scare you you know" and I said "you weren't?" and she said "no -- I have a way I can cure hiccups" and I was like "well what is it?" she's like "theres something about me that when I talk to people their hiccups just go away. i just chat or maybe tell them a story and after a minute or so their hiccups are just gone" and I thought she was like definitely on some pseudoscience shit so i kind of laughed and joked like "you should expect a call from the X-Men soon then" and she said "no. For real. I bet your hiccups are gone now aren't they?" and sure enough my fucking hiccups were gone. They stopped while she was speaking to me and didn't come back all night

what the fuck kind of power did this woman have... was she a hiccup witch??? I have so many questions for her