Wizard Life

I'm 29 He/They

[lizardsister]

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

[byjove]

If I had a diner, the coffee would be 50¢ a cup. Just 50¢. Always 50¢, price never changes, it’s like the Costco hotdog. But the coffee is bad. Really bad, so bad, lukewarm, watery, medium roast SWILL. But it’s so cheap you feel like you want to finish your cup and buy another because wow, it’s so affordable. You drive by and you think ‘Hey, that’s the place with the cheap coffee, I need to go back there.’ having totally forgotten the coffee is bad, you fall for it again. Why would I do this? Because I’m evil.

[lucs-madness]

love the wording on this. even asexual……. “those horrible satanists arent having sex, which is what we wanted but they’re Doing It Wrong!”

like okay i thought christians were into celibacy why is it bad when we suddenly don’t want sex at all

[cabbagesoup1]

[riben-deactivated20230922]

dude imagine if a hog saw this

[riben-deactivated20230922]

wouldn’t be nearly as many mushrooms is all I’m saying

[dogpuppy]

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

[homunculus-argument]

The stereotype of the nerd girl taking her glasses off and suddenly she's beautiful, but in reverse. A cold tough mean office lady who glares at everyone until she gets glasses and suddenly becomes sweet, approachable and friendly since she no longer has a constant headache over not being able to fucking see, doesn't need to squint at everything, and actually remembers individual people by name now that she can tell them apart at all.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

like this OP?

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[crowboy-bebop]

unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!

(warning: loud chirping throughout)

source: hellgate osprey cam

[curlicuecal]

[playstationpark]

Calming ‘Manta Ray Tech Demo’ PlayStation

[zeadeye]

When I was a kid I thought Master Chief was gender fluid bc I didn't understand who Cortana was so anytime she talked I just thought it was chief being a girl for that sentence

[boccher]

‭

fix the past

build the future

Voting ended onApr 17

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[blemgoid]

combine eight pieces of UNCLE TECH SCRAP to create one random UNCLE DEVICE

[punkitt-is-here]

[3000s]

sometimes older people get annoyed when i say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome" but the truth is it's literally not a problem

[3000s]

and sometimes you're not welcome

[catthlaf]

Xar's science words sound like SBR dialogue idk