we are the crowd

Rita Skeeter, 29. Ravenclaw '68. Witch Weekly columnist.

[acidgreenqueen]

Witch Weekly Gossip Column: The Buzz

As Halloween comes around once again and all the Kenmare pubs make a killing on various (rather overpriced) variations of pumpkin juice and firewhiskey, we at the Buzz saddle down to bring YOU what we like to call a contemplation of a season well-confabulated.

Celebrations this year take place in the shadow of the dark cloud of shocking events surrounding the sudden disappearance of Harpies Beater and rabid crush of every red-blooded reporter Dawn Withey. Gossip has naturally been more rampant than Minerva McGonagall’s tartan obsession.

“I reckon it’s got something to do with that referee that snuffed it, What’s-his-name King,” said one wizard in the street enthusiastically, “Huffindor couples are all Fiendfyre and brimstone when tempers run high, if you know what I mean. I remember my ex-“

Possibility of an outrageous (and no doubt tempestuous) scandal behind all the mystery aside, whether rumours that Dawn had to escape captivity by chewing through rope, Muggle-duelling no less than five grown wizards with nothing more than a Beater’s bat and then crawling like a trained Hit-wizard through 200 feet of sewage tunnel remain yet to be confirmed.

*

In happier news, not one but TWO of our beloved star-crossed couples have tied the knot in rapid succession, though the ceremonies could not have been more unlike. Former Head Couple James and Lily Potter were rumoured to have gone what can only be described as full hippy (“Groovy,” corrected satisfied guest Marlene Mckinnon as she staggered from what was presumably a wild day of what we used to call “chasing the dragons”).

The Mulcibers, on the other hand, delivered an event of customary elegance (those who speculate on whether a mouth-watering menu was chosen to deliberately distract from the suspiciously Malfoy-esque decor surely entirely miss the point of perfectly sautéd lamb). The bride, in particular, attracted perhaps too many envious glances, while the groom, once differentiated from one of the marble columns, cut a dapper figure in his own right.

All eyes now turn to the remaining poor souls who committed no crime but having the misfortune to be wealthy and single at the same time - prominent among them Vera “Bellatrix Jr.” Avery and Regulus “Playboy” Black. Perhaps a stylist to inject some colour into the personal style of these young people (which are currently reminiscent of 17th-century vampire fashion) will give them a much-needed jump start.

*

While the Wizarding public carries on, the Ministry can be described (were we to be uncharitable) as going straight to the dogs - or should we say the dementors. With sightings of the killjoys in black cloaks (not to be confused with Severus Snape) ever more frequent, mysterious disappearances left and right, and bowel movements more painful than is decent rampant among the Wizarding population, one has to wonder whether anyone is still quite sober in the DMLE.

Let us be “Frank”: no doubt Auror Longbottom is currently thoroughly bedazzled by domestic life (and certainly none who know Alice Longbottom could blame him), but should he leave Britain to stew in the chaos for much longer, he may find the whole of Wizarding World and public approval crashing down around his ears.

*

All in all, a most dramatic conclusion to the season, leaving the future of our world more delightfully open to speculation than ever. Will the atmosphere of utter anarchy in the Wizarding World never come to an end? More to the point, will our much-beloved celebrity scene ever be the same?

Only time will tell!

[acidgreenqueen]

Hi all, I just wanted to say, this rp has been so, so amazing, and I’m so sorry to have been mia during the last couple of weeks of it.

I came here during a sort of miserable period of my life, without knowing pretty much anything about how rps work, and what sort of party this was going to be like, and this rp has at certain points literally had me dance around my room laughing. I could go on and on about what I learned here, about writing, about making characters, about making friends - thank you guys so much for this.

I’m regularly totally floored by how amazing your characters are. I just have to say this again. They live inside my head now forever. And you guys should all be show-producers or writers or actors (If you ever are, please actually tell me, I don’t want to miss it).

I remember making a note-to-self early on to treasure every moment I spend working on this with you guys, and I did. I REGRET NOTHING!!!

Wherever and whoever you guys are outside of the bubble of this rp that I met you in, in other fandoms and in real life, however you’re doing right now, I wish you guys the very best.

That sounds very final, but actually I’d love to keep hearing from anyone here to talk about anything, I don’t mind if we haven’t talked in a year. I hope you guys don’t mind if I continue to creep on you all. I’ll leave all the rp blogs up and I can be contacted @motheatenalana . I’ll make sure to check it.

I’m very sorry, but I probably won’t be able to respond to most of the replies I currently owe in these last few days (and of course if I manage to I totally understand if you don’t have time to respond), but I miss you guys and I’m down for continuing replies with anyone who wishes to do / wrap up an awesome plot arc or something. I’ll be on Skype, just let me know and we can work something out.

With <3, Alana

[acidgreenqueen]

veraavery:

“If you’re trying to bait me into asking you what you meant, it won’t work,” Vera replied, although inwardly she was incredibly curious as to what the blonde had been about to say.

“Oh, nothing like that, just trying to be polite,” Rita smiled weakly, privately cursing, “I was was just going to point out you could use more colour.” She waved her taloned fingers in a circle over Vera as if to bless her with it.

[acidgreenqueen]

hestiajones:

“Oh,” Hestia said, surprised. She wasn’t sure how things worked with the press, but she was quick to believe it. “I suppose I’ll just need to speak to my supervisor to see what I can say.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that,” Rita shook a finger, tut-tutting, “That’s a rookie mistake - understandable since you’re only starting out, of course...”

[acidgreenqueen]

groovekinnon:

Marlene watched in awe as Rita downed another series of gulps of alcohol in quick succession. “That, at least, is something I can pass along, yeah. Cheers, Rita.”

/fin

[acidgreenqueen]

afallenstxr:

“For you perhaps.” She said. “But, in the long run, it won’t make you happy. Not really. Money runs out eventually, and then what? What are you left with?” She asked, pointedly. “It’s fun to have nice things but when you lose things, you realize that you can live without them.” She told her.

“I know it seems impossible, but when you find something, or someone, worth giving up everything for, not even money will entice you.”

“That’s what Gringotts is for, isn’t it, saving up for retirement?” Rita shuddered at the thought of herself being actually old. What on earth would she do with herself? Her mum had retired, but Rita was certain she never would.

“I suppose a good story is always worth more than gold,” Rita licked her lips at the thought, stuffing one last, glittering robe into her purse, which was now bulging slightly. “Have you... found something like that, then?” She glanced curiously at Andromeda’s journal again...

[tromper-in-black]

Take an Ad Out {Rita & Regulus}

[acidgreenqueen]

tromper-in-black:

This is incredibly idiotic. 

He sighed, most likely for the 10th time today as he leaned back on the most uncomfortable chair in all of the Wizarding World while sitting outside, at the garden in the backyard of the Manor. He remembered how difficult it was to sit on those chairs as a child and he remembered how his mother reprimanded him to stay still. Though the chairs were beautiful with all sorts of glistening jewels and polished wood—it was uncomfortable. Of course, status means the most. Status above all. He grunted as the one of the jewels dug into his lower back, closer to where his tailbone began. This was honestly the last place he wanted to be and with one of the last people he wanted to interact with—Regulus was rudely awaken by his mother shouting, nearly flipping the bed over in the process of forcing him out of bed. It was near noon, and he was up last night studying various plants, trying to extract oils for a sort of experiment.  His mother had forced him to get dressed and be downstairs in minutes for he had something important to do. What she did not say what that he would be have a guest, and that guest? Was the famous, Rita Skeeter. Of course. Before he had time to even utter a good morning, his mother with floating tea announced that she was tired of him being alone; and, that since he is his only son as of right now, it is his duty to carry the gene and the name. “He has to find a wife. He has to get married. He has to produce children” was all she said before leaving the two for an interview, of course, she was never so far away.  “So…”  He awkwardly asked the woman, making it known that he hated the entire situation and that his mother was idiotic and he had better things to do like going back to his studying of plants than sit here on the most uncomfortable chair ever to exist. 

“Mother isn’t sitting me up with you, is she?”

Rita watched the younger wizard shift in his seat with amusement - she herself was sitting on a much more comfortable, if plainer, chair. His antics did much to relax her, and now the excitement of a juicy interview was ebbing back. She had been rather nervous since she’d known she’d landed this job. It had been years, but it did not seem that long ago since she’d learned to be very careful around the family that had produced the madwoman that was then Bellatrix Black. However, the chance of interviewing the younger Black son - now the sole heir of the old family and not-so-incidentally the most eligible bachelor in the highest circles, was simply too delectable to pass up, and now she sat across the young man, dressed in her best magenta robes and doggedly ignoring the dark and imposing surroundings and even more imposing Walburga Black who was probably listening at a keyhole or something along those lines.

Rita grinned at Regulus as he spoke and the grin widened when he finished.

“Oh, no, dear, I’m the reporter. But you let her know I’m available, as well,” she lowered her voice and waggled her eyebrows, joking - mostly - the Blacks were extremely wealthy. She stuck out her hand without waiting for a response:

“Rita Skeeter, Witch Weekly. I’m here to interview you for our column’s Most Eligible Wizarding Bachelor special, and I have just one goal today, m’dear - make you appear all lovely and charming for the public and all those fancy, single ladies,” she looked Regulus up and down, eyes gleaming...

“Shall we get started?”

[acidgreenqueen]

mulcimperius:

“A bit impossible to do with all the flashing,” Usi said, motioning to Rita’s photographer.

“Enjoying yourself, Rita?”

“Tone it down a notch, Janice,” Rita briskly told the younger witch next to her, who paused mid-click, and, apparently unable to resist, took one last photo with a solitary phoom noise.

“Why, very much, thank you! And can I just say, you make quite the dapper groom, sir, congratulations!”

[acidgreenqueen]

vivienmulciber:

The sight of Rita Skeeter conversing with one of her guests left Vivien delighted. Of course she wanted the writer to have an unforgettable evening, and describe the entire wedding in a grandiose form in the paper. As the guest excused himself from Rita, Vivien slithered into her presence. “It’s a delight to see you, Miss Skeeter. I certainly hope you are enjoying yourself. Usi and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Miss - Mrs. Mulciber, darling, it’s a pleasure to be here!” Rita turned and beamed widely. “My, my... Janice, you have to get some more good shots of this lovely dress!” A younger girl with her face completely hidden behind her camera nodded eagerly and was indeed already clicking the thing aggressively.

“Oh, you’re just too considerate, both of you - it’s been fantastic. The food tonight was best I ever had for one - what was in that lamb!” Rita gushed sycophantically. Of course, the food was not the only thing that was delicious - next to her the Quill was once again scribbling furiously on a long roll of parchment...

[acidgreenqueen]

veraavery:

“I personally would have gone with a more simple gown, but I suppose the bride knows best,” Vera commented, her voice light and airy.

“Why darl- er, out of curiosity, do you do this at every wedding?” Rita had leaned over to effuse and was hit by a powerful moment of déja vu.

[acidgreenqueen]

“Why yes, I was invited - as I often am for these fancy parties! Just continue as you were, now, don’t mind me...”

[acidgreenqueen]

veraavery:

“And what makes you think I was asking for your opinion?” Vera asked, raising her eyebrows. She had been speaking to the shop girl that had been helping her, after all. Not Rita.

“Oh, so sorry, Miss Avery, it’s none of my business at all. Although I really couldn’t help thinking you could - no, no, pretend I said nothing, don’t mind me...”

[acidgreenqueen]

hestiajones:

Flustered, Hestia paused, and only managed to speak in a small voice. “I’m not really at liberty to discuss any patients we do or don’t have on file, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, that’s - the official line of St. Mungo’s, but it’s not how things are really done, you know,” Rita laughed, “They don’t want us bothering the patients - or the very busy Healers, so they tell us to get a quick unofficial statement from the interns when they’re free.”

[acidgreenqueen]

afallenstxr:

“Not everyone is motivated by money, Ms. Skeeter.” Andromeda found the entire idea disgusting, in fact. “The fact that some people can be swayed by gold is quite nauseating. Money will get you nowhere. I should know. I once had everything money could buy.”

“Happiness, Ms. Skeeter. That’s not something that can be purchased. And while that pair of Stebbins boots might bring you joy now? Something better will come along, and you’ll have an urge for that. Until one day, you’ll be out of money, because nothing could ever satisfy you. Which just proves that the best things in life can’t be bought.”

Rita paused in the middle of cramming a new pair of magenta robes into her handbag and looked the other witch up and down incredulously. Happiness? The best things in life? Money getting nowhere?

“Well, if you’ve already had the experience of rolling in gold, it’s small wonder you’d feel that way, isn’t it? For the rest of us, however...” 

Rita lifted the shoes out of the box to admire them - glittering wings flapped at the heels. “And anyway, you have to admit this stuff is enticing...” Rita waved the boots jokingly and stuffed them back in their box and the box into her purse.

[acidgreenqueen]

groovekinnon:

“What kind of shitty hint could that possibly be?”

“Yes, I thought so - usually I can catch a hint quite well.” Rita sighed, dejected. “All right, if the couple want a follow-up interview or something along those lines they know who to owl,” Rita chorused feebly, and cheersed Marlene with her bottle again, “I appreciate the smoke, darling.”

[acidgreenqueen]

macnair:

“Right. Thanks.”

/fin

[acidgreenqueen]

helenrobards:

Truthfully, Helen hadn’t known, not about any of it. She’d come home from work to an unsightly plate of sweetly flavored treats, all of which had to go. She’d worked so hard on getting her figure back after Philip had been born…

“It was as smooth as it’s ever going to be with a toddler and a package in my arms, I’ll say that. I’m glad you like them. They won’t do Gawain or myself any good.”

“Don’t mind if I do, then!” Rita accepted the box happily and prepared to stuff it into her desk drawer, doing her best to resist wolfing one down then and there. She didn’t think Helen had liked it these last few years whenever Rita met her with a snack in hand...

“Er -” with some effort, Rita paused and remembered that toddlers also ate sweets, “Would the little darling like some...?”