Some weird heresy

any pronounce

[acidmanticore]

Stop saying "it was fun" talking about things that hurt you. That wasn't fun. That was painful, sad, just generally bad. Not funny. At all. Even if now you're better. Especially if now you're better. Your mental breakdowns at least twice a week? Was not funny. Losing emotions for a long time, because you've forget how to feel anything except pain and didn't want to feel that either? NOT FUN. Selfharm? Definetely not fun. Suicide attempt? Not fun. Also you weren't "dumb" or "stupid" doing that. You were in pain. You were feeling shitty enough and hurt so much it numbed your self-preservation so you didn't stop yourself. You didn't feel physical pain or fear, and oven if you did, it still felt better than what was going in your head. It wasn't dumb. And it wasn't funny. Your eating disorder? Yes, that also wasn't fun. Blacking out three times walking around the house wasn't fun. Vomiting bile because you're so hungry and also empty, and losing your voice because bile burned your throat wasn't fun.

Why are you keep saying it was fun? None of us needs an answer. We know.

But it's important to stop yourself.

To say "It was... well, not fun, actually, it was quite shitty, but I'm better now".

You need to recognize your pain for actually fully healing.

Don't laugh at that person you were. Or maybe are, I don't know. Don't laugh at them. And don't call them stupid.

Because when you were there, it wasn't fun. And you know you've had your reasons, even though you know now they are not right, or product of abuse or someone else's toxicity, or just pain. You know, we know - when it hurts really bad is not that easy to think. You weren't dumb. You were in pain. It wasn't fun.

But you're better now.

[oceankat8]

Canary in a coal mine. Canary in a coal mine. Canary in a-

Edit: Buy a print: Here

[coffee-alien]

“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”

Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.

[samayla]

As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me. 

One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.

Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.

Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.

Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.

Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children. 

[brighteyedbadwolf]

This is so goddamn important.

I verbally express affection. A LOT.

My husband… doesn’t. I don’t know why. For the longest time part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.

At some point I told him about a thing I had done as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means ‘I Love You’.

Suddenly he’s telling me I Love You all the time.

Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.

taptaptap

on my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me

All the time.

More often than I ever verbally said it.

It’s an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.

It’s made a huge difference for us.

People say things differently.

[sweet-autism-things]

This is so sweet and wonderful. There are so many valid ways to show love and affection.

[eattherichplease]

This is one of the many things I love about the Addams Family, and the main thing that resonates with so many people I think, including me.

Here we have Uncle Fester in season 2 talking about his (departed) brother Clump, that has never been mentioned before. And everybody is listening attentively and with great interest... Because they don't know the story and they probably didn't know about Clump either!

Not so many episodes ago, someone asked Uncle Fester what was his surname anyway... He confessed he didn't know. Uncle Fester doesn't know his surname!

This happens again and again! And not only with Fester. Everybody's placement on the family tree is dubious.

I realize this is made for comedic effect, but the implications are beautiful.

"But how can that possibly be?", you ask. "Hadn't it been established that Fester was Morticia's uncle?"

Well yes and no! You see, it changes from episode to episode.

Because it doesn't really matter!

The "Family" in "Addams Family" doesn't have the usual meaning. Family means "people we love and have history with". Hence the myriad of cousins and uncles of different races, nationalities or even species, all wildly different.

Blood relation is completely irrelevant in the Addams Family. The Addams Family is a found family, an assortment of weirdos drawn together by their shared interests, pathos and aesthetic sensibilities.

It is impossible to drawn an accurate Addams Family Tree. This is by design! It doesn't' matter! And it shouldn't matter!

The Addams family is, deliberately, and inversion of the nuclear family, an antithesis. It's horizontal, democratic, without hierarchies, it's open, it has no definite borders, the relations among members are fluid, and the glue that holds it all together is love not blood.

There are hybrids and monsters in the family, people from different races and sizes and colors - Morticia is coded Jewish, Gómez is canonically "Castillian" (read Spanish/Latino), Itt is Itt, etc, etc -It is all a huge metaphor! The Addams family is hybrid, international, interracial, immigrant, queer, weird and proud of it... in the US of the 1960's!

And it should be even more now!

This is why it is so shocking that there are no canonically queer characters in Wednesday (2022)! It makes no damn sense!

(Yes, I know, Eugene's moms -background characters irrelevant to the plot, an afterthought to fill a quota...)

It says a lot about how conservative/evangelical American TV has become over the last few years.

Netflix, you cowards!

Make the Addams Family queer and weird!

[rocktheholygrail]

[rocktheholygrail]

[maculategiraffe]

amazing contribution by @misophoria

[acidmanticore]

Universal trans/enby experience of getting uncanny valley'd by your own reflection. Like. It's here. It should be me. It looks similar. Tere's something WRoNg.

[samglyph]

Meowlevolent Day 5: Sleeping

Cheating since I did this one on Sunday which worked out since I’m a bit too busy today to work on it lol.

[feetdavidson]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

[feetdavidson]

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

[servalias]

oh my god the original out in the wild

[whyycherry]

The ladies ever, I have been binging this podcast and I am in love with these two so so much

[difty-dift]

Beginning of a bad game ad I just saw

[dravidious]

[wigglew0rms]

Malevolent brain worm has infected me

[holythese]

human john!!! wanted to try to draw him and got a little bit carried away I um... kinda like big scarred men with thick eyebrows yk

[eyevatars]

me: has four unfinished podcasts i need to listen to

also me: what if i start listening to a new podcast!

[acidmanticore]

I start all of them, listen to 4-5 eps (if they are not long), if I'm not terribly hooked - move on to return later. If I AM hooked... Well, I've listened to the entire MAG in less than a week and inhaled Malevolent in like 2 days.

It's like the books when I was a child/teen, find a series and read like 5 books in 4 days with barely any sleep and ignoring homework 🤭

[acidmanticore]

Someone seems to have actually caught feelings huh

[abitcaughtinthemiddle]

Callowmoore friends, how ya doing?

[gloriousdragonglitter]

this is definitely what the other bells helps saw!!: beautiful art by @seasalt_fam on twitter

[vethbrenatto]

You’re just fucking great.