The Sparrow's nest

🌱Astrid - Italy - Writer🌱

[acmpoetry]

And if winter feels a little bit longer this year, be prepared for the most marvellous spring.

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Something's flowing inside me, reshaping, recharging, a long-awaited molecular transformation; Every cell of my body renewing, vibrating, sprouting the dormant seeds of creation.

There come emerald waterfalls, clouds of vanilla from which are dropping tiny snowflakes; and I'm bathing in the sunlight, lying on a bed of flowers, cradled by quiet, crystal clear lakes.

The pulse of Mother Earth, synced with my trusting heartbeat, paints thousands of rainbows in the sky; Myriads of shining stars flicker, I can't help but giggle, on my nose, a glass-winged butterfly.

There is nothing more sacred, heavenly and dynamic than this temple raised from the void; something's moving inside me, as much as around me, I can rest now and feel overjoyed.

-Astrid C.M.

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I wander in wonder on earth every day,

admire the fallen leaves paving my way

and sigh at the flowers adorning the grave 

of the girl that I was, a blossom of May.

With her petals torn, her stem badly bent,

she pushed through each season with courage and strength;

she fought and grew thorns, never losing her scent,

and, even in drought, she faithfully dreamt.

Dreamt of a new life, prayed for a new start,

while grief slowly and surely lacerated her heart;

and since loneliness threatened to take her apart, 

she had no choice but to turn her pain into art.

There I am, the opus she worked on for years,

Fingers stained with ink, cheeks bedewed with tears;

She wandered and, then, crossed the land of her fears

So I could beam in wonder even when the sun disappears.

-Astrid C.M.

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My life had a purpose, my heart had a calling,

answered when I met you on a cold winter morning;

With courage to spare and much hope to bring,

as marigold, our love blossomed in the spring;

But when summer came and took us apart,

I followed my new quest, yet left you my heart;

Then death took you away on a cursed autumn evening,

now my heart's buried with you, my life has no meaning.

Ironic, don't you think? That, out of them all,

the season that killed us is the one also named "fall".

And time sure stopped there, grief won't let me rest,

no flowers or warmth shall again fill my chest;

So with vengeful remains no holy water could rinse,

I rot in this kingdom, where it's been winter since.

-The fall, out of all/Astrid C.M.

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To the love of my life (I haven't met yet)

Sometimes I hear his voice in my ears, Stay still in its sound any chance I get; Then answer and send out sweet messages and signs To the love of my life, I haven't met yet.

I look up to the stars every night, every moon phase, Even on days when clouds cover the sky; Even when fog erases fields and mountains I can see our shared path in my mind's eye.

I'm reaching for his hands through the space that divides us, Stretching my arms out tired and upset; Too many years I spent yearning for the touch Of the love of my life, who I never met.

I can't wait to hold him, to grow old together, To watch our new life unfold in front of us, To laugh with him, be a shoulder he can cry on; There won't be a topic we could not discuss.

No matter how many detours we are facing, If it wasn't January, it's going to be June; Delay after delay I keep being hopeful: I may not have met him yet, but it'll happen soon.

I feel it, I sense it with all of my being, Our union is closer and closer each dawn; God is refining us for this to be greater Than any other bond we've both ever known.

A destined connection evolving through lifetimes, Two souls everlastingly defeating death; Twin flames burning bright, seeking to be reunited, Deeply in love though we never met.

Astrid C.M.

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Make the Sparrow bigger

Make the Sparrow bigger,

Let her light shine brighter,

Shall not the hawk forget this bird is a tenacious fighter.

And with her wings spread wider,

She'll sing louder and louder;

And scare away demons and beasts while speeding through hellfire.

Dream big, be a believer;

Yes, make the Sparrow bigger,

And shall the whole world see this bird can too be a great leader.

Astrid C.M.

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I can't find the right metaphors, 

Nor sweet poetic thoughts;

I don't have creative words for this,

Just endless typing dots.

My mind keeps racing aimlessly,

A constant battlecry.

No piece of art can come from this,

Only a question: why?

Why must I always yearn for love?

Why can't my poor heart rest?

Why, instead of my wish fulfilled,

Did God bring one more test? 

I can't explain or comprehend 

the reason I persist,

when the one thing I long so much for

seems not to exist.

No need for allegories here,

nothing to beautify.

No piece of art can come from this,

only a bitter sigh.

Astrid C.M.//No piece of art can come from this

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They used to tell me "Listen, little Sparrow,

beware of all the hawks you'll find around.

Fly low and pray to God they'll never find you.

If you don't want to die, don't make a sound".

These words I brought with me as I grew up,

I locked them in my head and threw away the key.

And though I know they did it for my highest good,

their advice ended up bringing me to my knees.

For, crawling in the dark, there was another bird;

a bigger hawk, meaner than anybody else.

This monstrous creature came without a warning

and built a nest covered in thorns inside myself.

She whispered vicious phrases in my ears,

pulled my feathers and pecked my skin all day long,

scared me to death every time I looked in the mirror,

forced me to shrink each part she thought was wrong.

I spent so many years feeling defeated,

watched powerless as she devoured my soul.

Till I realized what she was really eating

when I saw her body too turning into bones.

Yet, instead of rejoicing of her downfall,

I chose pity and sat her down to talk.

"I didn't mean no harm, Sparrow" she whimpered,

"I'm just doing what's expected from a hawk".

"There, there, dear hawk" I murmured, drying her tears

"Maybe it's time to unlearn what you've been taught."

That's when I understood that in order to heal

I had to first start feeding my demons with love.

This Sparrow's flying higher than the moon now,

with my brand new wings I'm caressing the stars.

And the hawk that tried so hard to bring me down,

from now on, will fill with glitter all our scars.

Astrid C.M.

[acmpoetry]

“After all of these years that I spent asking ‘why?’, did you really think I’d forgive and forget? Love, no matter how many times you will try, now I’ll always be your biggest regret.”

— Astrid C.M.

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In dreams, I always tiptoed

to the edge of the unknown,

and even when I wasn't sleeping

I was never left alone.

One night I saw a boy

in the corner of my room,

I asked him who he was

and he said 'The Wolf of Gloom'.

His skin was pale as moonlight,

his eyes resembled ice,

but oh, his smile was warmer

than the fire that took his life.

I put forget-me-nots

through his bonny charcoal hair.

They all blossomed as we grew up,

as our hearts began to glare.

He told me 'I can do whatever:

grow, change, play, laugh very much!

The only thing that this veil keeps me from

is the privilege to touch.'

Oh, what a cursed gift it is,

to love what others cannot see.

A destiny too painful

to be bearable for me.

So I made this sore decision

and left behind what I loved most.

For my gloomy wolf would only

just remain a wish, a ghost.

Yet today I keep tiptoeing,

lonely and old, or so it seems.

'Cause at night a little kid

still looks for true love in her dreams.

-Astrid C.M.

[acmpoetry]

“Love can change people for sure. What a pity you can’t get to decide how.”

— Astrid C.M.

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Your ashes traced a silver path that now I’m following with pride; Through the foam, green leaves and gold sand, with a seagull by my side.

Father, I’ll search for the wonders you left there for me to see. Your adventures are my treasure and your sword my legacy.

-Astrid C.M.

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Some tales can’t be forgotten, once they are heard. Above all, there’s the one of Sleeping Hummingbird.

A seraphic witch dressed in an iridescent gown, with long, shining red hair she carried like a crown.

A creature of light and love, sweet and kind to the core; they called her hummingbird for the colours she wore.

For her magical beauty an explorer soon fell, their love blossomed like a rose, as villagers would tell.

Too lost in the good, they didn’t see evil crawl near. Then from the woods death arrived and took away her dear.

Oh, her poor, fragile heart couldn’t take all that pain, so she fell asleep while still weeping his name.

And she’ll sleep for eternity in her red roses hearse, for other princes can’t break The Sleeping Hummingbird curse.

-Astrid C.M.

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Dear love, my fate is calling,

I have to bear this sword

and follow this path to the underworld.

Of time, I wish we had more.

Doom may be in the hands of the Gods,

some think we should accept and kneel.

But our love has the power to change it all,

and the Gods never met my will.

Oh, I wish we had built ourselves a home,

I wish I had made you my wife.

So I promise that I’ll keep loving you

‘Till I find you in another life.

-Astrid C.M.

[acmpoetry]

It pains me to remember her

the way she used to be,

sweet, young, bright and full of joy,

and in her innocence still free.

We danced around the kitchen chairs,

climbed upon the apple trees,

where I sang her favourite lullabies

while mending her bruised knees.

I used to brush and braid her hair,

for she was everything I had;

Today I can't even understand

which one of us is dead.

Oh, but the answer is so crystal clear

it blinds my tired eyes.

And I assure you, little one,

your big sister still tries.

God, please, now make her white light

shine down on people that she loves.

So we could be sure heaven welcomed

the purest of all doves.

-Astrid C.M.

[acmpoetry]

Shakespeare said that hell is empty and devils are here. But so are angels. For I see a little bit of heaven every time I look in your eyes.

-Astrid C.M.

[acmpoetry]

A LETTER FROM A BARN OWL

Son, I want you to smile. Show them those fangs and be who you’re destined to be. A leader, a lover, a poet, a wolf. Set your words free, let them hear your voice. And never feel shame for your tenderness.

Daughter, I want you to breathe. Close you’re eyes and embrace your true nature. Of a mother, a genius, a friend, a witch. Spread your candid white wings, let your bird fly. And never be afraid of being powerful.

My dears, you may feel lost now. You may think I’m not there anymore, but you’re wrong. I’m in every magnolia-scented breath of wind that caresses your skin, and in my grandaughter’s laugh. I’m the frost that covers the majestic pine trees of the forest, and the light of the moon that reaches your face.

There will be days when you will feel helpless, tired, abandoned.   But you won’t be alone. For if you’ll look out the window you’ll see I’m right there. The proud barn owl, watching over you.

-Astrid C.M.