Acorns in the Gutter

a personal blog and a heavy reblogger :) whatever catches our fancy!

[acorninthegutter]

All our art and comics go under #acornartstuff! We've got some doodles and stuff that felt plural-adjacent or are related specifically to our plurality.

Comics are all tagged with #system comic.

Our text posts are under #acornsystemrambles now! We used to sign off by tagging our names but that's starting to put our posts in weird places. Didn't really plan that well but from now we won't be doing that.

We'll mention some heavier topics at some point, and they will be tagged accordingly. However, we don't tag most of what we reblog.

Reblogs we really like or relate to go under #acornfavorite.

On the super rare occasion we get asks, they're tagged #acornasks!

[acorninthegutter]

I should be allowed to bite customers — Tohru

[acorninthegutter]

Okay so is anxiety supposed to send a wave of prickles and cold and ache through your whole body, starting from your chest and ending at your fingertips, or is that something worse.

[classifiedcove]

happ pride

[acorninthegutter]

Incredibly funny to go through our entire blog for the purpose of re-tagging some things and I'm looking at my alters' posts like. So I see y'all have been talking behind my back huh.

[randomlychangingsystemblog]

reminder: i am not actually jax from tadc, just minorly based off of tadc as a show

reread some personal journal entries. i don't like our past.

[donotenter-sys]

does anyone else get phantom glasses?

we have astigmatism but it isn’t bad enough for us to need glasses for it (or atleast last time we checked at the eye doctor)

the system has been debating getting me glasses for cosmetics. would be nice

[thatguyinyourhead]

The base of our communication is quite literally closed questions and a lot of attention.

It's like, "do you/I/we want a banana?" And then listening to what feelings comes in response.

Never questions too hard or too big when the communication line is too thin. "Do you want to eat?" is already to complicated. The choice must already be done (unless the co-fronter has specificities linked to eating).

We do not expect words, we do not expect a clear response. Just a sign. No need to rush, no need to go further than our actual limit.

[the-web-syndicate]

In bed. Straight up losing it. And by "it," well. Haha. Let's just say. My memories

[the0peratingsystem]

fictive identity horror

I had no control over anything. I couldn't even choose who I am.

[acorninthegutter]

"Maybe customer service will help us put how our parents treat us in perspective!" we said. "Maybe it'll help us not be so sensitive!"

We sure are compartmentalizing something that's for sure. Honestly it's weird because we've never been treated with casual racism or disdain before so it's just? Kinda weird?

Like I'm lucky to have a good work environment so far (as in the coworkers, not the company/customers) but wow. It's so so weird.

[theweathersystem]

obedience and its price

[system-error-404-who-are-you]

hey uh thanks man

- 🌱

[gnomesofgeroma]

that really did not feel good

[acorninthegutter]

Okay so!! So!! Whenever we leave an event, there's often a sense of, "it doesn't feel like I was at that event at all?" Like, we enjoyed it and did things, sure, and it felt real in the moment - but it doesn't feel real now?

Originally we thought that was just a lack of object permanence (which it still could be) but also. Maybe that's because we often switch for socializing/being alone?

[the-royal-we-collective]

Bro doesnt even pay rent he eats and leaves

[acorninthegutter]

Interestingly, we've had exactly 3 instances where Spica was triggered (as opposed to just switching in or co-fronting or whatever), which causes the whole system to shut down.

It's weird because our recollection of each incident feels like how we'd expect a panic attack to feel like - complete and total fear, a certainty we're going to die, feeling disconnected from the body, mental dissociation, elevated heartbeat, feeling lightheaded (almost nauseated) - but it's not a panic attack, because we still function. Like the whole lockdown situation occurs in order to force us to keep functioning; that's Spica's fundamental job, we think, is to function at all costs. To be socially acceptable.

It's not a conscious trigger, because we can't make it happen on purpose. It only happens when we're completely overwhelmed/overstimulated, and it only triggers when we absolutely can't afford to break down. So like, in public. We've had breakdowns in private and with friends, but that's usually Tohru's wheelhouse (for various reasons).

We like to think of Spica as a protector because even though she's not aggressive or anything, she keeps us safe at all costs. Sure, it can be difficult to be vulnerable when we want to be when she's constantly paranoid, but that's what needs to be done sometimes.