Actual Ridley

Space Pirate Captain. Hero of Hyrule. (Ridley/Ridley)

[pluspixels]

Super Metroid fan art

[girlballs]

Betray Your Values And Beliefs For 8 Red Coins

[actualized-animal]

[actually-ridley]

@sm64mario

[hotelmario-mario]

Y'know, it's definitely a trek t' go back to the "main" castle grounds, grab the wing cap, fly behind the waterfall and scale hilly terrain just t' get to the place that vaguely resembles our house just t' sleep on a proper bed. But hey, it beats sleeping on castle floor tiles.

[mario-bounty-hunter]

*Radioing in*

Hey where the fuck are you? You’ve been off the grid for two weeks now.

[hotelmario-mario]

Blame Wario. He got me, my bro, and Mr. L stuck down here in this "Plexus" thing. I'm tryin' to return to The Mushroom Kingdom as soon as I can. It's just tough when every door leads to an entirely new place with only a single star.

Apparently we need Red Stars. I've found one and I think Mr. L's found at least two last I checked. Wario found a green one but I dunno what it's for.

[mario-bounty-hunter]

Perfect. Just our goddamn…Why don’t we have a WBH? He’s a criminal in every reality, you’d think there wouldn’t be a shortage of people wanting to kill his fat ass

[hotelmario-mario]

Well, the first thing I'm doin' when we get outta here is I'm gonna punch Wario in the face. So at least there's that. Afterwards I'm gonna have t' deal with everything else that's happened in The Mushroom Kingdom...

[sm-64-luigi]

i’m’a Also going to punch Wario in the’a face before I face the Luigi bounty hunter. Maybe we can’a make it like a Bros attack?

[the-random-spellcaster]

Like the Trio attacks from Paper Jam!

[sm-64-luigi]

Yea! Like’a Trio attacks!

[actually-ridley]

I have no idea what you're all doing. But since you're all out. More castle for me

[fanonical]

it's time for another round of 'is this an obscure canon fact or did i read it in a fanfic'

[actually-ridley]

If I say something about Space Pirates or Space Dragons I almost certainly made it up myself

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Emotional support dragon by tiera foxglove

[plaguedocboi]

Alright lobling fans its your lucky day

[sm64mario]

Mario is considering joining the 'Kremling'a Krew!'

[actually-ridley]

Wait, I thought you were joining the Space Pirates

[actually-ridley]

One time! Samus destroyed my planet while I was on it. That has to make us even

[syluxbeyond]

"So Samus started it?! Why didn't anybody tell me? Now we should definitely team up against her! That's why fans didn't like Beyond, there was no Ridley boss fight."

[actually-ridley]

I can't team up with someone with so little respect for proper record keeping.

[oneheadtoanother]

[actually-ridley]

Mario stopped paying my bills too.

I don't know who told him.. yet

[actually-ridley]

Well, first of all, I'm Mother Brain's favourite.

And second. You made an unforced error. I ran the operations on Zebes and Tallon IV for years before Samus discovered them. I recovered the metroid hatchling before Samus delivered it to the Federation, who then started experimenting on it while accusing the Space Pirates of wanting to do the same thing.

And Samus has been hunting me for years for absolutely no reason.

[syluxbeyond]

"No reason?! You killed her parents! Mind you, as much as I hate Samus, I consider that to be a good thing; but you can see where she might hold a grudge?"

[actually-ridley]

One time! Samus destroyed my planet while I was on it. That has to make us even

[aropride]

apparently u can't add polls to posts from 12 years ago so i'm screenshotting it

what "level" are you

egg

hatchling

baby dragon

dragon

still a dragon

mega dragon

super hella dragon

UNHOLY OFFSPRING OF LIGHTNING AND DEATH

Voting ended onJul 16

[actually-ridley]

Space Dragon. The best kind of dragon

[acegender]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[cunning-god-of-death]

I will eat your family in front of you.

[actually-ridley]

So, you know about clownfish right?

[yamujiburo]

plot twist: jessie genuinely thinks this

[sm64mario]

they'a going to kill me on 9/30/2026

[actually-ridley]

Can I have your hat?

And your moustache. I've always wanted one

[actually-ridley]

All adult humans have exoskeletons. @space-pirate-link is in the late larval stage, their exoskeleton is still soft and flexible. The adult colouration (red/yellow like Samus, or blue like yours) hasn't started to appear yet.

It wasn't one little job, it took over a decade to plan. The Space Pirates were going to colonise the planet and rebuild our forces far from the reach of the Federation.

[syluxbeyond]

"Alright so maybe it was a big job... but you're the worst Space Dragon! I've failed once, just one time. How many times has Samus nearly killed you?"

[actually-ridley]

Well, first of all, I'm Mother Brain's favourite.

And second. You made an unforced error. I ran the operations on Zebes and Tallon IV for years before Samus discovered them. I recovered the metroid hatchling before Samus delivered it to the Federation, who then started experimenting on it while accusing the Space Pirates of wanting to do the same thing.

And Samus has been hunting me for years for absolutely no reason.

[actually-ridley]

Ridley, you don't have to deal with that. You are an amazing dragon and space pirate.

I'm the best.

And Sylux is so bad at his job even the Federation doesn't want him any more. And they let everyone in.

[syluxbeyond]

Worst Space Pirate

@actually-ridley Continued From Here:

"Granted, I kinda botched the job, but I'm far from the worst! What about @purephazon? All she ever wants to do is barbecue footballs! Also, just because I'm humanoid doesn't necessarily mean I'm a human."

[actually-ridley]

@purephazon isn't a Space Pirate. And I know a human exoskeleton when I see one.

[purephazon]

"Yeah! Besides, I only barbeque footballs one day a year, one day! It just happens to be today, the fourth of July."

[syluxbeyond]

"Not all human 'exoskeletons' have humans inside, like she's some sort of a Phazon-parasite thingy. The point is, there's got to be someone worse than me. I only botched one little job--" *cough* "so far."

[actually-ridley]

All adult humans have exoskeletons. @space-pirate-link is in the late larval stage, their exoskeleton is still soft and flexible. The adult colouration (red/yellow like Samus, or blue like yours) hasn't started to appear yet.

It wasn't one little job, it took over a decade to plan. The Space Pirates were going to colonise the planet and rebuild our forces far from the reach of the Federation.