Absolute Trash

Hey so how about some grade A garbage?

[doctorbeth]

Pooh Bear

I see many Winnie the Poohs at the hospital (aka Winnie aka Pooh aka Pooh Bear), as you may guess.  Many look like this, a bit flat and with small wounds, designed to have a removable shirt:

They come for spas:

New hearts and stuffing:

And plumping up so they have a proper belly again:

Sometimes they look like this:

A bit more loved… or as his person said, in more “desperate condition”.

He also had a spa (not everyone does):

As you may’ve noticed, he needed a new nose and there were several options:

His heart had a pooh on it as well as some magic from a heffalump:

And after a bit of arm and smile surgery, soon he was healthy and ready to fly home:

His person wrote “He looks wonderful!”

The final Pooh I’m going to show you today just flew home yesterday.  He is always called Pooh Bear.  He is 14 years old and showed every year of hugs.  

Here are the photos his person’s mom sent for diagnosis:

As you can see, Pooh Bear was a bit flat and a bit gray.  He came in for a spa:

Got new stuffing and a magical Heffalump heart to preserve a bit of his original stuffing:

And finally was clean and plump and fluffy and ready to fly home:

He could even sit on his own!  His people said his chubbiness was perfect and as I said, he flew home yesterday!

[theawesomeadventurer]

this blog is singlehandedly curing my depression

[degeneratepai]

[filmnoirsbian]

Is there rly any softer scene than when o'malley sees duchess and falls in love with her at first sight in the aristocats, complimenting her at every turn and climbing into a cherry blossom tree to make the flower petals snow gracefully down on her? How dreamy 🥀💕

[filmnoirsbian]

This Is Love 😍😍

[phantoms-lair]

Not to mention when he found she had kids, he was thrown for a second, then proceeded to not only still help her, but dote on them too.

[pitviperofdoom]

“Not all men” you’re right, Abraham DeLacey Giuseppe Casey Thomas O’Malley would never.

[dirtydisneyconfessions]

ok dude, i know you wanna fuck the granny queen from a bugs life, we’ve gotten your confession 385 fucking times, we get it, you love fucking old wrinkly ass ants, stop fucking submitting it.

Elvira.

[inzergue]

i would like to propose that this text post is “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" enough to be preserved in the library of congress

[powerfrogarchive-deactivated201]

house arrest is so funny to me. you commited crimes, stay home

[old-songs]

A D V A N C E D   G R O U N D I N G

[this-antigravity-deactivated201]

when i was like 6 i made a poptropica character and the oldest age you could pick was 15 and i distinctly remember saying “good thing nobody lives that long”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

i love that moment of absolute acceptance and tranquility that washes over you exactly 1 minute and 35 seconds before an exam begins. when you look at the notes you’ve been trying to absorb and realize that at this point you’re either ready or you’re not and you put them away and all the anxiety and doubt you had up until this moment just floats off you like steam from a hot summer sidewalk after a storm.

i think this exact situation is where actors who have to die on-screen draw their inspiration. that look in their eyes when they realize their wound doesn’t hurt anymore, and they look at their friend, their face awash with acceptance and near-relief, and the light leaves their eyes,

they learned that in a stats class.

[frogconnoisseur-remade-deactiva]

[hannahhillam]

I threw a dog on the ground today 😭😭😭

[coffeeandstring]

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

[fatsexybitch]

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

[hollowedskin]

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

[everydayconman]

[shotfromguns]

some friends of mine have the most un-cat-ish cat i have ever met

my quintessential example of this:

i was holding him in my arms petting him while we were picking out what games to play that night. when we’d decided on a few, i needed to put the cat down in order to, you know, carry boxes. so i started letting him down, expecting that he’d eventually do the cat hop thing… but he never did.

i ended up lowering him all the way to the floor. and even then he never got his feet under him. i just sort of… plopped him down on his side as he stared up at me like a betrayed sack of flour.

[albinotopaz]

[moonry]

@tennesseans

[catsuggest]

me on my way to step upon your face at 6:37am:

[pervocracy]

Every social network should have a button for “Stop trying to be clever with algorithms and just show me the posts of everyone I follow, in the order they were posted.”

[buzzfeed]

Not all heroes wear capes.

[fuck-kirk]

My brother to his boyfriend: where are you going?

Boyfriend: well, I’M going SHOPPING. I’m gonna go buy MYSELF something for my birthday since YOU didn’t.

Brother: I told you, I got you a gift but it won’t be ready till Friday

Boyfriend : mhm, okay, sure

Me, knowing full well my brother got him an engagement ring and it’s getting sized and will be ready on Friday:

[whyarewewlwlikethat]

girls.

[whyarewewlwlikethat]

all i had to do was write “girls.” in a pink font and all the wlws slammed reblogged

[wlwellbutrin]

cats are so fake like they’re theoretically related to apex predators and yet they weigh 8 pounds, sleep 20 hours a day, and scream if you feed them half an hour later than usual

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

I deeply sympathize because I also like to sleep an unreasonable amount and yell when hungry.

[squidong]

incidentally, you are also an apex predator

[feynites]

apex predators are over-hyped, we’re all just tired and whiny.

[karlcat]

it is a Scientifically Proven Fact that once a group of people become friends, the tendency to make really foolish decisions skyrockets…. and from this chaos…. the Mom Friend™ rises, ready to keep everyone alive, armed with exasperation and common sense in spades