Just An Ant Adapting

baking | acrobatics | math | goth professional in two but not good in any of that but that doesn't stop me

[adaptingant]

you know what they say

[dickspooky]

I’m getting strong enough to kill you all

[sluttygrandpa]

[kvotheunkvothe]

now that's a solid snake

[utopians]

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

[utopians]

guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror

[snazzy-hats-and-adhd]

Achievement Unlocked: Meatspace Containment Breach

[antikate]

I went to a clothes shop with my daughter yesterday and we were talking about how the clothes were nice but how it was the kind of shop that made us both feel like a horse. You know it’s like, here I am, a horse at a human clothing shop, putting on clothes that look ridiculous on a horse, and it’s obviously my fault for being a horse and not a human

Of course that sweater looks weird on me, I’m a horse, not a human! I can barely get my hooves through the sleeves, and it bunches up over my withers and doesn’t reach my fetlocks, and there’s no accounting for my hindquarters. Or my forequarters either

So then we started talking about horse shops and classifying clothes as for humans or for horses, and now I’m afraid the idea of the horse shop is permanently cemented in my vocabulary, and someone is going to ask me about clothes and I’ll be like “oh I can’t shop there it isn’t for horses” and it will be weird

[chromaticabrasions]

open rp

oh boy it is sure cold out here i wish a nice warmblooded human would invite me into their house to warm up becuz it is too cold out here for my also human blood in my human body so i need to be in a house with someone else with warm human blood oh boy

[wizardarchetypes]

hiiiiii <3 i live in a barn : )

[chromaticabrasions]

hello friend! may i step into your lovely barn and also do u happen to have warm human blood inside of you? smiles so sweetly at u

[wizardarchetypes]

i have the regular kind of blood. you can sleep in one of the stalls. what do you eat? is it timothy? we have a lot of that. i can put a bunch in one of those net bags for you.

[chromaticabrasions]

u…. u have timothy? lots of timothy ? for me? and i can sleep in a stall ;w; woaw…. no body has shown me this much kindness for two thousand years

[wizardarchetypes]

wwooooaaahhhh hold on. 2 thousand years? you're not a vampire are you....

[chromaticabrasions]

[oh no,,,, if he finds out that im a vampire and originally planned to kill him and suck his blood he might take back the hand of friendship he extended to me!]

i meant 2 years

im actually a very articulate horse. neighhh whinny etc 🐴

[wizardarchetypes]

Hmmm let me take a better look at you to be sure...

Well, there's always more room for another horse in here! Please, come in and enjoy some of this delicious timothy <3

(I pet your nose gently)

[chromaticabrasions]

*tearing up* thank you i love you i’ll be the best horse for you i promise i love you

[wizardarchetypes]

[now aware that this is a vampire but i assume they have something going on probably related back to their childhood so i'll let them pretend to be a horse until they're ready]

i love you too

[sandmandaddy69]

[harzilla]

Reblog to cast healing for your homies.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[keplercryptids]

i don't "date" and i don't "chill" and i don't "hang out." i make pacts. i swear oaths. i forge unbreakable bonds. this makes me a cool breezy person to take on road trips et cetera

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[ichimakesart]

Pygmalion

"Stop fidgeting! I'm trying to work out the details..."

~☆◇Prints◇☆~▪︎~☆◇Commissions◇☆~▪︎~☆◇My Peter Pan Webcomic◇☆~▪︎~☆◇My Game on Steam◇☆~▪︎~☆◇For inquiries: [email protected]◇☆~

[mysharona1987]

[wizardarchetypes]

in that guy’s defense i was standing in the sun in a lowcut skirt so my belly was out and i was holding two sandwiches, a bag of cheetos, and a giant bag of mixed bulk sour candy and my hair is perfect today so maybe he was overcome at the sight of me in a way that’s never happened before

[wizardarchetypes]

????!!!!!!!! some guy just walked by me and said OUT LOUD “what the hell is she doing here….” VOICED LIKE THE SHY INNER MONOLOGUE OF A CARTOON CHARACTER AND THEN HE SAID TO ME “you look marvelous…”

HUH 😭😭😭

[wizardarchetypes]

Im losing my fucking mind i wish i could do an audio post to truly embody his voice acting for his inner monologue he sounded like a funimation dub idk what to do

[wizardarchetypes]

also so important for you to understand that he was in his 60s at LEAST

[wizardarchetypes]

it was so diabolical i looked around for anyone else and checked him for meta glasses in case he was doing a tiktok skit or something i mean it

[dozydawn]

[renthony]

It's wild to watch the phrase "tumblr sexyman" morph into "man that tumblr thinks is sexy," because when I first saw the phrase come into use, I always saw it used in reference to the phenomenon of "when presented with a wide array of fictional characters, tumblr will always pick the skinny white man to obsess over, and if the fan-favorite character has no canonical human appearance, the fandom will inevitably create a popular fanon of the character as as a skinny white man."

When I hear "tumblr sexyman," I think of Cecil Night Vale being constantly depicted as a skinny white man instead of literally anything else. I think of the background character white men who get elevated over protagonists that are women, people of color, or otherwise not the white man power fantasy.

"Tumblr sexyman" is, like. An insult. I DON'T want any of my blorbos to win a "tumblr sexyman" poll. "Tumblr sexyman" is the exact opposite of what I want my own OCs to be. If any of my characters ever get called "tumblr sexyman," I will have to immediately re-evaluate myself and the art I'm making.

[renthony]

Things I think of when I hear "tumblr sexyman":

Cecil Night Vale, as previously mentioned.

Oncelercest, because if there aren't two skinny white men to ship, tumblr fandom will start shipping the skinny white man with himself.

Bill Cipher inexplicably being fanon'd as a white twink despite being a fucking triangle.

Everyone fawning over Marvel Loki while shoving every woman and Black person in the MCU aside.

The way nearly every single character in Hazbin Hotel has the same "tall and skinny" body type, along with all the criticisms Black audience members have made about the issues with Alastor's design.

The way tumblr got obsessed with the white man villain in Sinners.

[paleozoiccatboyblood]

[wyrm-town]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Face reveal? I wanna see the mug that cracked all those mirrors

I don’t actually have what people usually call a “face” and that may be part of the problem.

Since you said “mug” though here is a Cronenberg inspired Mugwump mug that I made when a friend got one of those Cricut presses: