This is a cover design for the hilerious fanfic the right substitution is key by AddictedApple on A03 which follows Jason when he returns to Gothlam but his identity is not known. It is designed as a quarto so the mock doesn't show all of it as a result, this is more apparent In the back.
I've set myself a challange this month to try and do a cover a day and try some different styles. I've been lrovaricating getting a printer because there's so many types and it stresses me out so I'm focusing on the parts of bookbinding I'm loving, so cover design! DAY 2.
I wanted to do something with a laptop to highlight Timmy bringing a PowerPoint to show The Red Hood why he needs to fill in for the Missing batman. I chose a laptop element then played around with random elements around it and chose an image of redhood to include like he was popping out of the laptop. If I remember I would like to add a slight shadow behind him (not batman's, I tried that and it looked weird) to make him more 3d and maybe a bat signal in the sky. I also used Tim Drakes Robins colours through the design.
The inspo for the back of book was literally just retro 90s computer screen and I then searched retro computer and mismatched and changed various elements. As it's a quarto design alot gets cut off In the mock so I've shown below some of the other little back images.
This took about minutes in Canva and I made a short process vid which can be found if anyone is interested:
Is the post about Clark’s car being sold for parts the first one you’ve reblogged on this account?
(Think gender neutral sir)
Really, I gotta insist, those are the best Jason posts I’ve ever seen. You’ve curated such great inspiring and true posts about Jason’s batfam relationships. I love them
Also, I’ve been inspired by your fics and I’ve started writing my own Jason college fic but it ain’t gonna be posted yet. It’s big big big and also a crossover fic, I’ve put lots of thoughts into it. Idk if you’d be interested by it but what the heck. Just gonna put this here to let you know.
It’s been too long, I don’t remember what my first reblog was 😂 But thank you! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my reblogs.
It’s always so cool when someone says my fics have inspired them to write something. I am always keen for there to be more fics about Jason going to college so that I can read those fics. Very happy to chat with you about your Jason fic ❤️
Batman gets home after a long day of patrol to find one of his newest enemies, the murderous crime lord Red Hood, in his personal civilian office. he prepares to fight despite having taken off all of his gear back down in the cave, only for Red Hood to see him in the doorway and without hesitation, he takes off his helmet.
Jason Todd stares at him from across the desk, tears and snot streaming down his face, and Bruce freezes.
“I don’t know how to hook up the new dryer i bought for my apartment and now my landlord is asking for bank statements to prove i can pay rent and my wifi keeps fucking up and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WATER PRESSURE IS,” Jason wails, distraught and sobbing harder than Bruce has ever seen before. he fumbles, jaw dropping, as Jason swipes at his eyes, sniffing. “THIS ISN’T FAIR,” he cries wetly. “I DIED BEFORE I LEARNT ABOUT TAXES, WHAT THE FUCK IS A STOCKS ISA??!”
Bruce bites his lip, deciding to not show his slight amusement. “Oh, chum,” he empathises.
“THIS IS SO FUCKED UP.”
“I know, I know,” he soothes, holding his hands up in submission and carefully moving forward so he could place them comfortingly on Jason’s shoulder. did he know what was going on? absolutely the fuck not. was he going to question it and scare away his apparently-not-dead-son? absolutely the fuck not. “How about some warm milk and cookies, and then you can show me the files that confuse you?”
Jason sniffs. “…and then the dryer?”
“I can hook up your dryer, chum.”
“……I’m not gonna stop being a crime lord,” his son warns, shamelessly using Bruce’s sleeve to wipe away the snot dribbling down his lip. Bruce bits his lip again.
“Let’s not worry about that right now. One problem at a time.”
Several hours later, Alfred returns from the farmers market (he gets there EARLY, to get the best stuff), and he goes in the kitchen and there's two glasses and a couple plates in the sink. Not too unusual. He puts the fresh produce away and then opens a drawer and all the daily use silverware is gone. This is somewhat unusual.
He goes looking for Bruce, finds him sitting in his office, staring at the computer monitor, looking like someone beaned him with a brick. Concerning, but not too unusual, given his hobbies.
"Master Bruce."
"Hn."
"All the silverware appears to have vanished."
"... Yes."
Alfred waits a beat, but there's no more explanation forthcoming so he delicately prods a little more.
"I saw the dishes in the sink, did Master Richard take them for some reason?"
Bruce twitches, then slowly shakes his head. Alfred waits, the silence doing the prodding for him this time.
"I do not have a head injury." Bruce begins. Following it swiftly with, "I have not been drugged, or hit with sny kind of magic."
Raised eyebrows. "Of course, sir."
"... Jason said he didn't have any spoons. And then while we were having cookies and milk he admitted to not having and forks or butter knives either."
Silence. Then– "Master Bruce, perhaps–"
"I have security footage, Alfred. And fingerprints. And dna samples."
Hi! I love your fanfics for the batfamily so much!!! You're Jason-centric fics are so good, they explore the sadder parts and yet are still so funny. Jason is always going through it and getting through it! The relationship developments with the other batfamily members is always top tier! Thank you so much for sharing!
I wanted to ask if you have a policy or an opinion on people fanbinding your works into physical copies for personal ownership? With credit given at all times of course. My binding socials is called cuteknightindery on here.
Hi! I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my writing!
I do not mind at all if people fanbind my work so long as they are not trying to make money off selling it. I always think it’s really cool when people love my work enough to bind/podfic/translate it 😊 I’d love to see pictures if you do get around to binding any of my fics.
It has come to my attention that not enough people know everything DC put Stephanie Brown and her fans through in the 2000s and 2010s, so here, as threatened, is the Saga. There have definitely been female characters who have been put through more horrific storylines, but what I think is really remarkable about Steph's story is how clearly it highlights the misogyny against real women, i.e. readers, that was completely mask-off in the comics industry at the time.
Please note that I am only going to be focusing on Steph's death in War Games, her erasure from continuity with the New 52, and the fallout from both of those events. If I dug into the sexist treatment she got from Batman and Tim prior to her tenure as Robin, we'd be here all day.
ANYWAY. It begins in 2004. In Robin #125, Tim's dad discovers that he is Robin, and threatens to out Batman unless his underage son quits this highly dangerous and illegal activity (fair).
In Robin #126, Steph sees Tim being kissed by his ex-girlfriend, Darla Aquista. Now in Tim's defense, Darla initiated the kiss and Tim tells her afterwards that he's seeing someone. On the other hand, the kiss lasts for four whole panels and five lines of dialogue from observers. Also, considering Tim originally ended his relationship with Darla by cheating on her with Steph, you can see why Steph might not be feeling super trusting here. [EDIT: Darla was not Tim's ex, I was thinking about Ariana Dzerchenko there. Tim being chronically unfaithful still holds but that's for another post.]
Upset, Steph makes herself a costume, breaks into the Batcave, and declares herself the new Robin:
Bruce is like "...You know what, yeah, okay." Alfred pulls him aside and immediately calls out what's going on here:
Bruce very pointedly does not answer Alfred's question, which is as good as a yes. And look: you can question Steph's decision to volunteer as Robin out of spite because she assumed her boyfriend was cheating on her without talking to him. And you can question her later actions that kick off War Games. But she's sixteen years old. Meanwhile Bruce, a grown-ass man who is also Batman, is playing mind games with a couple of high schoolers in order to...what? Destroy Tim's relationship with his only living parent and totally discard Steph when she's no longer useful, presumably.
Also please note Bruce accurately describing Steph's best qualities, which are also her fatal flaw. And remember that the quality he claims he's hiring for is also what he'll blame her firing on.
Time goes by. Bruce trains Steph, but he tells her she's on "probation" and that means 1) she doesn't learn any of the big secrets and 2) if she disobeys any order, no matter how small, she's fired, no second chances. For the record, none of the boys were ever on probation (Jason and Tim had long training periods but that's the opposite; they were protected until they were ready, not thrown into the field without full support), they all knew Bruce's identity, and they disobeyed his orders all the time. Tim did it on his very first mission.
Just...putting this here.
In Robin #128, Batman is fighting a villain while Steph waits in the Batplane. Fearing for Bruce's life, Steph disobeys his orders to stay in the plane and tries to rescue him, only to be taken hostage by the villain, who escapes. Bruce fires her, and tells her she's not allowed to be Spoiler anymore, either. In a particularly cruel move, he specifies that all the codes will be changed in the Batcave to keep her out, even though in the previous issue, Tim noted to Steph that Bruce didn't change anything to keep him out.
Just to make the point again: yes, Steph broke the rules. However, none of the boys before her, nor Damian after her, were ever penalized the way she was and for such a minor infraction. Disobeying orders and getting taken hostage are like the second and third most important Robin responsibilities, after puns.
Steph is devastated, and this is what leads to War Games, which was a crossover event across the entire Batman line that ran from October 2004 to January 2005. It began with Batman: The 12 Cent Adventure, in which a bunch of crime bosses all show up for a meeting that none of them called, get antsy, and start shooting. The ensuing deaths cause a gang war across Gotham. Eventually Steph confesses to Catwoman that she called the meeting. She was trying to play out a war game she'd found on the Batcomputer to show Batman he was wrong to fire her, but the meet went wrong. A guy named Matches Malone was to show up and become the new crime boss of Gotham, but he never turned up.
Of course, the reader and Selina know what Steph doesn't: Matches Malone is Batman. If Batman doesn't know about this meeting, he can't control the situation. But if Batman had treated Steph like a true Robin instead of putting her on "probation," Steph would have known he was Matches Malone, and none of this would have happened.
I'll say it a third time: Steph fucked up, yes. But Steph was sixteen. What was Bruce's excuse?
Anyway. While running around Gotham desperately trying to fix her mistake, Steph encounters Black Mask, who manages to knock her out. He then chains her up and tortures her with a power drill in order to get her to spill Batman's plans (which she does not do). Here's how this sixteen-year-old is drawn when she's being tortured (in Robin #131):
Thank god we can see her tits and her ass at the same time, that was really important to the narrative.
Here's how she's drawn the next time we see her, in Catwoman #35:
Gotta make this dying teenager look hot or what's the point, amirite?
Steph manages to fight her way free, but Black Mask gets the upper hand again after she refuses to kill him. He shoots her, then lets her go to send Batman a message. She makes it to Bruce, who takes her to Leslie Thompkins's clinic, where she dies:
THESE PANELS ARE IMPORTANT. (Batman #633.)
Side note: Bruce is with Tim when Leslie calls him to tell him Steph is actively dying, and consciously decides not to tell Tim and let him and Steph say goodbye.
Side note #2: Steph's death was always planned as part of War Games. Dylan Horrocks, who was writing Batgirl at the time, and Devin Grayson, who was writing Nightwing, both vocally opposed this but were overruled, which is why this aspect of the plot barely plays out in their books.
Anyway. What I want to talk about is the aftermath of Steph's death. Characters dying was commonplace back then (way more common than it is now, actually), and female characters was extremely commonplace - this was a time when the term "fridging" was becoming more commonplace but wasn't yet seen as something to avoid. But readers noted a couple of things about Steph's death in particular:
The art was really inappropriately sexual. Why was Steph's tortured body being drawn to titillate?
Steph didn't have a memorial case in the Batcave. Why was that? Jason Todd, the only other dead Robin, had a case. In fact, Jason retained his case even after he came back to life (his first appearance as Red Hood is in Batman #635, two months after Steph's death). Why didn't Steph get a case?
I used the word "readers" specifically up there because it wasn't just Steph fans. I remember hearing from a number of people at the time who were like "Yeah I didn't actually like Steph, I thought she was annoying. But what happened to her was fucked up."
And these readers started asking DC where Steph's case was. Social media wasn't really a thing yet, but they asked in fan letters, at conventions, on LiveJournal and blogs, on forums.
"She wasn't really Robin," DC said, over and over again (like when Dan DiDio said it at Wizard World LA in 2007).
"But Batman said she was Robin. Right there on the page."
"Well, she wasn't."
"Why not? What makes her different from the other Robins? What makes her different from Jason?"
"...no comment."
(Hint: IT WAS THE GIRL COOTIES.)
At another con, Bill Willingham, who was writing at the time, said he wanted to "take a gun to all those girls who kept asking about a memorial case for Spoiler." I'm paraphrasing because the source is some LiveJournal page buried deep in the bowels of the internet, but I'm confident in the "take a gun to those girls"* part of the phrase because it burned itself onto my brain at the time.
*It was of course not only girls and women, not that he cared.
To be very clear: this man thought it was appropriate to respond to a group of mostly female readers pushing back against the comic book industry's relentless depictions of violence against women by...describing his fantasies of enacting violence against women. Out loud. With his mouth. To an audience. While acting in a professional capacity.
I also want to note something that never occurred to me at the time, but we (yes, I was there, Gandalf; this is in fact my origin story) weren't even asking for them to bring Steph back. Like, the thought never crossed my mind. Compare to HEAT (Hal's Emerald Attack Team), a group of fans who waged a harassment campaign after Emerald Twilight demanding Hal's reinstatement to the Corps and the firing of the writer who wrote the comic. We were only asking for DC to acknowledge that Steph had been Robin, and it infuriated them.
As a last point on Steph's death: I mentioned this in another post, but when Steph died in 2004, she had zero official action figures despite having been a recurring character in comics for 12 years. She wouldn't get her first action figure until 2010. But in 2005, DC started selling this:
Yes, he is holding the power drill.
Anyway. Fans kept the pressure up for four years, and eventually DC got so fed up that they just...fucking brought Steph back. I don't know how much of the reason was so that they wouldn't have to give her a memorial case and thus "let the girls win," but I bet it was more than 50%.
This is so fucking funny to me. What a bitchy little line to give Bruce. (Robin #174.)
See, immediately after Steph's death, Leslie Thompkins told Bruce she could have saved Steph but deliberately let her die to teach Bruce a lesson about letting kids fight in his war, which was a shocking bit of character assassination for Leslie and also...lol. As if Bruce cares about Steph enough to change his behavior.
Now in 2008 the official retcon was that while Steph was out of it and barely clinging to life, Leslie snuck her out of the country to Africa (where in Africa? don't worry about it, it's all the same, right?) to recover, and just told Bruce she was dead for the same ineffective lesson-teaching from before.
So Steph was never really dead! And Bruce knew that despite being by her side when she flatlined! And then he lied to Tim and said she was dead for...enrichment? Tim needs a little unnecessary grief in his enclosure sometimes. (Lol j/k Tim was nothing but grief and several nervous breakdowns in a trenchcoat at the time.) And Tim's just...basically fine with it???
DC sort of didn't really know what to do with Steph for a couple of years, so they put her through some really bad writing, and then since they had conveniently also put Cassandra Cain through several years of really bad writing, they had Cass quit being Batgirl and vanish out of comics for a bit, and Steph took over. What was done to Cass could be a post in its own right and the way she vacated the Batgirl role is awful, but it did give us the beautiful, golden, shining joy that is Batgirl (2009):
STEPHBATS YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY WHOLE HEART.
This comic was beloved. It wasn't a huge seller (though comfortably above the usual cancellation threshold), but everyone I know who has read it loved it, even people who had never liked Steph before. This is the book that changed her from "cautionary tale about comic book sexism" to "fan favorite funny Batgirl."
And then the New 52 happened. And the second battle of the Steph Wars began.
If you weren't reading comics in 2011, you may not know that aside from all the controversy any major reboot engenders, the New 52 was very specifically controversial because of how women were treated by the reboot. Prior to the reboot, 12% of the creators working on DC's comics were women, which is just...an incredibly embarrassing number to begin with.
After the reboot, 1% of their creators were women. There were two (2) women in the initial New 52 lineup: Gail Simone and Amy Reeder. They were both fired the following year.
I am really struggling to communicate how badly women were treated around the New 52: creators, fans, characters. It was so bad that the Wikipedia page for the New 52 has multiple subsections about it. But I want to call out one part in particular:
This led to a tense interaction between fans and DC Comics co-publisher Dan DiDio at the 2011 San Diego Comic Con, where DiDio was asked by a fan about the drop in female creators from 12% to 1%. DiDio responded by saying, "What do those numbers mean to you? What do they mean to you? Who should we be hiring? Tell me right now. Who should we be hiring right now? Tell me."
What Wikipedia doesn't mention, but was widely reported all over the internet in 2011, was that the fan who held DC's feet to the fire at multiple panels over their obvious misogyny was dressed as Stephanie Brown.
Just like she had in 2004/2005, Steph became a symbol of the comic book industry's mistreatment of women - and a symbol that "all those girls" Bill Willingham had fantasized about shooting would not go away.
But what about Steph herself? Well, the New 52 reboot was meant to be starting over from scratch. Batman had only been around for five years, so obviously he couldn't have gone through five Robins in all that time!
...No, he'd gone through four. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian were all still around. But Cass and Steph were gone and Babs was still Batgirl, erasing both her status as DC's most iconic disabled character and her legacy as the first of and mentor to all the other Batgirls. Legacy only matters when it's boys, you see. And following the rules only matters when it's for the purposes of keeping girls out.
And the erasure of Steph in particular was very clearly targeted. In 2012, Bryan Q. Miller (who had written Steph's Batgirl series) tried to include Steph as a future Nightwing in his Smallville Season 11 comic, set in the Smallville universe and not the main DCU. He was told to replace her. Not with anyone in particular, just get her out of there.
Later that year, DC launched the adorable digital first Li'l Gotham series by Dustin Nguyen (who had also worked on Steph's Batgirl series) and Derek Fridolfs. The Halloween issue included a little blonde girl trick or treating while wearing what was clearly Steph's Batgirl costume, a cute little Easter egg for fans. That is, until later editions, when the girl's hair was recolored to black. Again, this is a comic that was not set in the main DC universe, and the little girl wasn't even Steph, just a random kid. (Dustin managed to sneak a reference into a later issue in 2013, and by 2014 things had chilled out enough that Steph got a proper cameo.)
Scott Snyder asked to use Steph and Cass and was told no. Same with Gail Simone. Word on the street was that DC had declared them both "toxic."
Was it DiDio who hated Steph? I have no idea. But it was certainly DiDio who publicly berated a cosplayer in a Steph costume when she asked why there were so few women in the reboot that would become his ultimate legacy. (Well, his other ultimate legacy besides shielding and repeatedly promoting noted sexual harasser Eddie Berganza for 15 years.)
Steph finally, finally returned in 2014, not just to Li'l Gotham but to the main DCU with Batman #28. It makes me very happy that Dustin Nguyen got to be the one to draw her:
(Cass would have to wait nearly two more years, until Batman & Robin Eternal in late 2015 - further proof, as if any was needed, that however bad white women have it, women of color get treated even worse.)
As the comic above would indicate, Steph was reintroduced as being Spoiler and only Spoiler - still no girl Robins allowed. The 2016 Rebirth reboot introduced the idea that she had been both Robin and Batgirl...but in a different timeline. Finally, 2021's Infinite Frontier (after DiDio's departure from DC) restored both Steph and Cass's full history with all of their previous roles to continuity, further reinforced in 2022 by both the Robins miniseries and the Batgirls ongoing, both of which co-starred Steph.
Is the comic book industry still sexist? Yes, obviously. Do I wish DC had a better idea for what to do with Steph these days than occasionally pop up in the background of a Bat comic to make a joke? Yes, obviously. But when I look back at how openly misogynistic the industry was in the 2000s and early 2010s, how naked the vitriol against female characters and readers was, I'm always shocked anew by how much has changed, and how much we used to put up with.
We've come a long way, and some of that is thanks to Stephanie Brown becoming a symbol for women who would not lay down and die, would not be erased, would not shut the fuck up. As Bruce himself put it waaaay up at the top of this post:
"I did everything I could to make her quit. She wouldn't. She stood up to me, right down the line--defied me."
So in honor of Steph, the get-back-up-again-est girl in comics, please take two things away from this post:
Teacher: Mr Wayne, thank you for coming in. We need to talk about Damian’s family tree project. Firstly, he is claiming his mother is Talia al Ghul, the renowned terrorist.
Bruce: Ah, yes, well she is.
Teacher: I'm sorry? You and her... None of my business. Now he claims his grandfather, uh, Ra's... He claims he is 687 years old. That can't be right.
Bruce: It's not. Me and him are in a disagreement about it. I think Ra's is only 679 but you know what Damian’s like.
Teacher: I... I guess so. Now in this section he did on his siblings, he has included Jason Todd, which I thought was very sweet of him only he. Well, he gives him one birth and death date and then he includes a 'rebirth' date and when I asked him about it... Mr Wayne, are you alright?
Bruce: *tearing up* He listed all his siblings. Even Tim!
damian has to be the funniest batkid because he looked back on all the crazy bullshit all his older siblings did during their rebellious phases like going on murderous rampages, running away to strike out alone as a vigilante in a different city, becoming a crime lord, and then proceeded to accurately predict ‘what can i do to top that and actually freak Batman out?’ and immediately applied for medical school.
I just stayed up till five in the morning binging JTTCOTM, and let me tell you that shit was WORTH IT. thank you for making me laugh, cry, and everything in between. I would take a bullet for you dawg. 🙏
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Please look after yourself ❤️
Bruce, spotting his kids huddled around the same computer: "Aw-- ahem. What are you all doing?"
Dick, barely looking up: "There's a GCPD cop who just got arrested for murder--"
Bruce: "I heard about that. Serial killer--"
Jason, making loud buzzer noise: "He's innocent."
Bruce:
Bruce: "You three are trying to clear a GCPD officer's name?"
Cass, making a buzzer sound: "Too stupid."
Bruce: "What, I'm just trying to--"
Jason: "She's right."
Dick, elbowing Jason: "Bruce, you don't know this guy, he's literally too idiotic to be able to pull this off."
Jason: "Kids pickpocketed his gun so much he got demoted to desk duty."
Cass: "He tasered himself when I scared him. Peed pants."
Bruce:
Dick: "He was pretty notorious at BPD too. Apparently he once slipped in a victim's blood and fell backward into a gutter, taking out his lieutenant in the process."
Bruce, laughing: "Which lieutenant ended up in the gutter?!"
Dick: "Mathison. He had a heart attack from the shock."
Cass: *drawing a finger across her throat*
Bruce: "Yeah, so this guy isn't a serial killer."
Jason, malevolently: "Or it's the perfect cover. He had the balls to take out a lieutenant."
I make it a priority to let authors know when their fic is so good I read it more than once, so consider yourself in formed and know that your work is delightful and I love it very very very much.
That’s so lovely! What wholesome priorities you have ❤️❤️❤️
Just finished the last chapter of JTTM and I audibly "yippee!"'d when i say the email that you updated.
I cannot even begin to describe the feelings this fic gave me, just know it gave me all of them and they were all good.
I know from the author's note you're not planning anything else for sequels, and i would have loved to see some more pure jaykyle fluff, but i wish you the best on your original work endeavours.
Just know you got a subscribe from me, and I will happily welcome any future jason works you have in store anywhere down the line.
Best wishes!
A humble jason todd fan
That is very lovely of you to say. I’m so glad I could give you all the good feelings. Thank you so much ❤️
Not me just noticing that some of my favorite Jason Todd fics are ALL written by you. Lmao! I knew Jason goes to College and Journey to the center of the universe (which was amazing holy-) were written by the same [amazing] author but I just realized you also wrote Body Dissolving Acid, The Right Substitution is Key, AND Dead Heroes Club.
how can so much brilliantness be packed into one person?
Oh wow, you even read my MariBat one 😂 You must be a true connoisseur. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed so much of my work. Thank you for your lovely words ❤️
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 3
*wind whooshing* *grunting* *the sound of scraping against stone*
Dick: you have to be cheating somehow, you could never do that jump before!
Jason: how the fuck do you cheat at parkour?
Dick: *pause*
Dick: secret.... winches.
Jason, incredulous: secret winches?
Dick: secret winches. you got like- i dunno. stuff to help you up here.
Jason: *snorts* you're a fucking idiot. i can do the jump because i got steroided by the lazarus pit and pokemon evolved three times the size of myself, dipshit.
Dick, humming: yeah, that must have been a culture shock.
Jason: well it was fucking something that's for sure.
Dick: did you ever get like-, like when you woke up and you were just over six feet tall. did it fuck with your head?
Jason: like did i forget and run into doorframes a fuck ton-?
Dick: -yeah, like what was it like?
Jason: *hums consideringly*
Jason: kinda like. what i imagine the hulk had to go through. like i was just suddenly real big and real strong.
Dick: was it cool?
Jason: parts of it were cool, parts of it- *wheeze* parts of it were fucking fantastic.
Dick, very amused: ok now- wait hold on- don't you give me that fucking look-
Jason: *laughing*
Dick: -alright. brother to brother, i feel like we're close enough with each other to discuss this as mature adults. but i have to ask,
Jason, audibly grinning: -oh, i'm proportionate.
Dick: *bursts out laughing* that- that must have been fucking wild-
Jason: IT WAS- it was- *breathy laugh* it sure was something-!
Dick: how long after you came out the pit did you notice?
Jason: how long- dude, instantly!
Dick: *laughing*
Jason: i was out that pit like that fuckin' tiktok audio, just 'woah woah, wait, where my dick at?!'
Dick: *laughing louder*
Jason: just climbing out, barely conscious, in the back of my mind like 'did they tie a weight between my legs or something because this shit ain't normal, why's it heavy'
Dick, crying: why's it heavy-!
Jason: i will say in all honesty i kinda forgot about it for a while.
Dick: how do you forget?
Jason: i dunno, just kinda doing my thing. mentally i was still like, fifteen, so as much as my cock did interest me, once Talia gave me a shiny sword i was like 'ooooh' and instantly stopped thinking about it.
Dick: was there not any like, mechanical issues?
Jason: mechanical- like, did it work? yes, dude, it fuckin' worked?
Dick: well i don't know i just feel like- it's probably like getting a new phone, right? like they're all pretty similar but when you transfer over to a new model there's an adjustment period?
Jason: OH- ok yeah, no, i get you. no there was definitely an- *slight wheeze* there was an adjustment period.
Dick: *starting to laugh* i don't even know if i want to ask,
Jason: *wheeze* well it was- like i said i forgot for a while, right? so the first time i slept with somebody,
Dick: *cackling* no, littlewing what did you do?
Jason: no i think i just ruined the mood a little bit in the beginning, because like- like it was just as much a surprise to me as it was to her, right?
Dick: *cackling even louder*
Jason: so she was- *wheeze* she was fuckin'- *high pitched, breathy* she was below me as i got it out, and she went 'oh wow, it's so big', and my fuckin' stupid ass was just- wide-eyed looking at it like 'jesus fucking christ it is isn't it?!'
Dick, choking: i can't- i'm fucking crying-
Jason: *half-silent wheezes*
Dick, slightly delirious: but didn't you ever, like, try it out alone beforehand?!
Jason: WELL I-
Damian: OH MY FUCKING GOD. S T O P.
Jason and Dick: *cut off chokes*
Damian: MAY I FUCKING REMIND YOU, that BOTH i AND Batman are on this line tonight!
Jason, slightly muffled: *shocked laugh* oh my god, B-?
Damian: he's been staring blankly into a gutter since Nightwing first mentioned genitalia.
Dick, high pitched through hitched breaths as Jason starts cackling in the background: yeah that's- that's our bad, B. Sorry about that.
