he was down SO BAD IMMEDIATELY
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@addsalt100
he was down SO BAD IMMEDIATELY
The difference is that jealous Ilya looks homicidal while jealous Shane looks suicidal
"It's a long story."
Shane and Ilya through the years
September 22th: Fanlore is getting an upgrade
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The best way to fight climate change is to destroy capitalism.
Don’t believe that you are responsible for this. They just want to pass the buck.
In retrospect, four years later, I feel like the Isabel Fall incident was just the biggest ignored cautionary tale modern fandom spaces have ever had. Yes, it wasn’t limited to fandom, it was also a professional author/booktok type argument, but it had a lot of crossover.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a writer, whether fan or pro, publishes a work. If one were to judge a book by its cover, something we are all taught in Kindergarten shouldn’t happen but has a way of occurring regardless, one might find that there was something that seemed deeply problematic about this work. Maybe the title or summary alluded to something Wrong happening, or maybe the tags indicated there was problematic kinks or relationships. And that meant the story was Bad. So, a group of people takes to the Twittersphere to inform everyone who will listen why the work, and therefore the author, are Bad. The author, receiving an avalanche of abuse and harassment, deactivates their account, and checks into a mental health facility for monitoring for suicidal ideation. They never return to their writing space, and the harassers get a slap on the wrist (if that- usually they get praise and high-fives all around) and start waiting for their next victim to transgress.
Sounds awful familiar, doesn’t it?
Isabel Fall’s case, though, was even more extreme for many reasons. See, she made the terrible mistake of using a transphobic meme as the genesis to actually explore issues of gender identity.
More specifically, she used the phrase “I sexually identify as an attack helicopter” to examine how marginalized identities, when they become more accepted, become nothing more than a tool for the military-industrial complex to rebrand itself as a more personable and inclusive atrocity; a chance to pursue praise for bombing brown children while being progressive, because queer people, too, can help blow up brown children now! It also contained an examination of identity and how queerness is intrinsic to a person, etc.
But… well, if harassers ever bothered to read the things they critique, we wouldn’t be here, would we? So instead, they called Isabel a transphobic monster for the title alone, even starting a misinformation campaign to claim she was, in fact, a cis male nazi using a fake identity to psyop the queer community.
A few days later, after days of horrific abuse and harassment, Isabel requested that Clarkesworld magazine pull the story. She checked in to a psych ward with suicidal thoughts. That wasn’t all, though; the harassment was so bad that she was forced to out herself as trans to defend against the claims.
Only… we know this type of person, the fandom harassers, don’t we? You know where this is going. Outing herself did nothing to stop the harassment. No one was willing to read the book, much less examine how her sexuality and gender might have influenced her when writing it.
So some time later, Isabel deleted her social media. She is still alive, but “Isabel Fall” is not- because the harassment was so bad that Isabel detransitioned/closeted herself, too traumatized to continue living her authentic life.
Supposed trans allies were so outraged at a fictional portrayal of transness, written by a trans woman, that they harassed a real life trans woman into detransitioning.
It’s heartbreakingly familiar, isn’t it? Many of us in fandom communities have been in Isabel’s shoes, even if the outcome wasn’t so extreme (or in some cases, when it truly was). Most especially, many of us, as marginalized writers speaking from our own experiences in some way, have found that others did not enjoy our framework for examining these things, and hurt us, members of those identities, in defense of “the community” as a nebulous undefined entity.
There’s a quote that was posted in a news writeup about the whole saga that was published a year after the fact. The quote is:
The delineation between paranoid and reparative readings originated in 1995, with influential critic Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick. A paranoid reading focuses on what’s wrong or problematic about a work of art. A reparative reading seeks out what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art, even if the work is flawed. Importantly, a reparative reading also tends to consider what might be nourishing or healing in a work of art for someone who isn’t the reader. This kind of nuance gets completely worn away on Twitter, home of paranoid readings. “[You might tweet], ‘Well, they didn’t discuss X, Y, or Z, so that’s bad!’ Or, ‘They didn’t’ — in this case — ‘discuss transness in a way that felt like what I feel about transness, therefore it is bad.’ That flattens everything into this very individual, very hostile way of reading,” Mandelo says. “Part of reparative reading is trying to think about how a story cannot do everything. Nothing can do everything. If you’re reading every text, fiction, or criticism looking for it to tick a bunch of boxes — like if it represents X, Y, and Z appropriately to my definitions of appropriate, and if it’s missing any of those things, it’s not good — you’re not really seeing the close focus that it has on something else.”
A paranoid reading describes perfectly what fandom culture has become in the modern times. It is why “proship”, once simply a word for common sense “don’t engage with what you don’t like, and don’t harass people who create it either” philosophies, has become the boogeyman of fandom, a bad and dangerous word. The days of reparative readings, where you would look for things you enjoyed, are all but dead. Fiction is rarely a chance to feel joy; it’s an excuse to get angry, to vitriolically attack those different from oneself while surrounded with those who are the same as oneself. It’s an excuse to form in-groups and out-groups that must necessarily be in a constant state of conflict, lest it come across like This side is accepting That side’s faults. In other words, fandom has become the exact sort of space as the nonfandom spaces it used to seek to define itself against.
It’s not about joy. It’s not about resonance with plot or characters. It’s about hate. It’s about finding fault. If they can’t find any in the story, they will, rest assured, create it by instigating fan wars- dividing fandom into factions and mercilessly attacking the other.
And that’s if they even went so far as to read the work they’re critiquing. The ones they don’t bother to read, as you saw above, fare even worse. If an AO3 writer tagged an abuser/victim ship, it’s bad, it’s fetishism, even if the story is about how the victim escapes. If a trans writer uses the title “I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter” to find a framework to dissect rainbow-washing the military-industrial complex, it’s unforgivable. It’s a cesspool of kneejerk reactions, moralizing discomfort, treating good/evil as dichotomous categories that can never be escaped, and using that complex as an excuse to heap harassment on people who “deserve it.” Because once you are Bad, there is no action against you that is too Bad for you to deserve.
Isabel Fall’s story follows this so step-by-step that it’s like a textbook case study on modern fandom behavior.
Isabel Fall wrote a short story with an inflammatory title, with a genesis in transphobic mockery, in the hopes of turning it into a genuine treatise on the intersection of gender and sexuality and the military-industrial complex. But because audiences are unprepared for the idea of inflammatory rhetoric as a tool to force discomfort to then force deeper introspection… they zeroed in on the discomfort. “I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter”- the title phrase, not the work- made them uncomfortable. We no longer teach people how to handle discomfort; we live in a world of euphemism and glossing over, a world where people can’t even type out the words “kill” and rape", instead substituting “unalive” and “grape.” We don’t deal with uncomfortable feelings anymore; we censor them, we transform them, we sanitize them. When you are unable to process discomfort, when you are never given self-soothing tools, your only possible conclusion is that anything Uncomfortable must be Bad, and the creator must either be censored too, or attacked into conformity so that you never again experience the horrors of being Uncomfortable.
So the masses took to Twitter, outraged. They were Uncomfortable, and that de facto meant that they had been Wronged. Because the content was related to trans identity issues, that became the accusation; it was transphobic, inherently. It couldn’t be a critique of bigger and more fluid systems than gender identity alone; it was a slight against trans people. And no amount of explanations would change their minds now, because they had already been aggrieved and made to feel Uncomfortable.
Isabel Fall was now a Bad Person, and we all know what fandom spaces do to Bad People. Bad People, because they are Bad, will always be deserving of suicide bait and namecalling and threatening. Once a person is Bad, there is no way to ever become Good again. Not by refuting the accusations (because the accusations are now self-evident facts; “there is a callout thread against them” is its own tautological proof that wrongdoing has happened regardless of the veracity of the claims in the callout) and not by apologizing and changing, because if you apologize and admit you did the Bad thing, you are still Bad, and no matter what you do in future, you were once Bad and that needs to be brought up every time you are mentioned. If you are bad, you can NEVER be more than what you were at your worst (in their definition) moment. Your are now ontologically evil, and there is no action taken against you that can be immoral.
So Isabel was doomed, naturally. It didn’t matter that she outed herself to explain that she personally had lived the experience of a trans woman and could speak with authority on the atrocity of rainbow-washing the military industrial complex as a proaganda tool to capture progressives. None of it mattered. She had written a work with an Uncomfortable phrase for a title, the readers were Uncomfortable, and someone had to pay for it.
And that’s the key; pay for it. Punishment. Revenge. It’s never about correcting behavior. Restorative justice is not in this group’s vocabulary. You will, incidentally, never find one of these folks have a stance against the death penalty; if you did Bad as a verb, you are Bad as an intrinsic, inescapable adjective, and what can you do to incorrigible people but kill them to save the Normal people? This is the same principle, on a smaller scale, that underscores their fandom activities; if a Bad fan writes Bad fiction, they are a Bad person, and their fandom persona needs to die to save Normal fans the pain of feeling Uncomfortable.
And that’s what happened to Isabel Fall. The person who wrote the short story is very much alive, but the pseudonym of Isabel Fall, the identity, the lived experiences coming together in concert with imagination to form a speculative work to critique deeply problematic sociopolitical structures? That is dead. Isabel Fall will never write again, even if by some miracle the person who once used the name does. Even if she ever decides to restart her transition, she will be permanently scarred by this experience, and will never again be able to share her experience with us as a way to grow our own empathy and challenge our understanding of the world. In spirit, but not body, fandom spaces murdered Isabel Fall.
And that’s… fandom, anymore. That’s just what is done, routinely and without question, to Bad people. Good people are Good, so they don’t make mistakes, and they never go too far when dealing with Bad people. And Bad people, well, they should have thought before they did something Bad which made them Bad people.
Isabel Fall’s harassment happened in early 2020, before quarantine started, but it was in so many ways a final chance for fandom to hit the breaks. A chance for fandom to think collectively about what it wanted to be, who it wanted to be for and how it wanted to do it. And fandom looked at this and said, “more, please.” It continues to harass marginalized people, especially fans of color and queen fans, into suffering mental breakdowns. With gusto.
Any ideas of reparative reading is dead. Fandom runs solely on paranoid readings. And so too is restorative justice gone for fandom transgressions, real or imagined. It is now solely about punitive, vigilante justice. It’s a concerted campaign to make sure oddballs conform or die (in spirit, but sometimes even physically given how often mentally ill individuals are pushed into committing suicide).
It’s a deeply toxic environment and I’m sad to say that Isabel Fall’s story was, in retrospect, a sort of event horizon for the fandom. The gravitational pull of these harassment campaigns is entirely too strong now and there is no escaping it. I’m sorry, I hate to say something so bleak, but thinking the last few days about the state of fandom (not just my current one but also others I watch from the outside), I just don’t think we can ever go back to peaceful “for joy” engagement, not when so many people are determined to use it as an outlet for lateral aggression against other people.
I believe this is the news article being referred to in this post- I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn’t read it already. It should be required reading for anyone who has contact with any form of online discourse.
Isabel Fall’s sci-fi story “I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter” drew the ire of the internet. This is what happened next.
#I feel kind of weird about this post framing this as a Fandom Event but at the same time I was on twitter when it happened#and on some level it was. it was very much something that was coming to me via people who were really involved in promare discourse#and at that time everyone seemed to have gotten sucked into pro/anti discourse whether they wanted to be there or not#because not declaring a side would be branded taking a side by people inclined towards harassment#the fandom logic that drove the explosion of ‘anti ship’ content on my TL had a lot of crossover with non fandom stuff#sometimes targeting large well known cishet male authors but often seeming to target small independent marginalized authors#who were writing from very messy and personal places and being given absolutely no grace#idk what else to say. shit’s dark and also isabel fall is a higher profile example of a thing that happens all the time online#part of the larger narrative of online rhetoric around the moralizing of discomfort and complexity#and the ways that moral stain are used to remove people from public life
I completely understand your hesitation about framing it this way! I feel like it was just adjacent enough, with just the right players involved, to count as a fandom event even though it wasn’t technically a fandom event. I consider it similar to other pro writer incidents, like the Ana Mardoll “war crimes factory nepo baby” incident, or Kidneygate.
Here’s an archived link to her short story if anyone is interested in reading it, if only for context on this post; but I think you should regardless, as it’s a genuinely good and thought provoking story:
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter by Isabel Fall
My contribution to the @bbcmerlin-reversebang this year! I had the pleasure of working alongside the lovely @remaymberme and their story a single thread of fate(tied me to you) <3
Also a shoutout to the ever amazing @feuxx for betaing and helping me through the fest ^_^
SCISAAC AU (for @scisaacday): Swashbuckling
In the quiet town of Beacon Hills, two families fight to rule, the Argents and the Hales, both as noble as they were rich. The racketeers both Houses employ terrorise the town, but keep a stable yet fragile peace. What will happen, when the newest swordsman under Lord Derek's protection falls in love with one of the Argents' blades? Puns are exchanged, beers are spilled, rapiers are drawn, but after a night of passion in the haystacks, will they be able to face each other ad dawn in the field of honour?
at the training grounds...
While You Were Sleeping Zimbits AU
I was rewatching While You Were Sleeping and thought about how cute this would be as a Zimbits AU.
Eric “Bitty” Bittle works at the train station and every day sees a handsome stranger, daydreaming of his seemingly glamorous life and how beautiful he is.
One day, the stranger gets mugged at the station and falls onto the tracks.
Bitty jumps into action and saves him.
The handsome stranger ends up in a coma and Bitty (who is mistaken at the hospital as his fiance) meets his family.
The Zimmermann clan comes to the hospital and praises Bitty for saving their Kent. Kent was adopted by the Zimmermann family when he was 10 and was raised by Bob and Alicia Zimmermann.
The entire family instantly loves Bitty, who is sweet and kind, and without a family of his own.
Alicia and Bob invite Bitty to spend the holidays (Christmas and Hanukah) with them.
Enter Jack, Kent’s brother, who is skeptical of Bitty. Who is this guy that he’s never heard Kent mention before?
Jack and Bitty continually chirp one another, and find they really enjoy each other’s company as much as they enjoy pushing each other’s buttons. They make each other laugh, and have a lot in common but Jack is still suspicious of Bitty and his motives.
Jack and Kent’s Uncle Mario finds out the truth about Bitty not being Kent’s fiance, but tells him to just go with it. He thinks Bitty is a kind, sweet soul who would be good for Kent who is self-centered and needs to grow up.
Jack, meanwhile, feels guilty that he’s fallen for Kent’s fiance.
Kent finally wakes from his coma, and looks at Bitty but has no clue who he is. His family is telling him that Bitty is his fiance, and now they fear he has amnesia.
Meanwhile, Kent’s real fiance, Jeff Troy (who is super snotty and an NHL player) comes back into the picture (they had had a fight and weren’t speaking), sees Bitty and is like, “Who TF is this?!” But Kent was convinced/persuaded by Uncle Mario to go through with the engagement/wedding to Bitty.
It’s at that point that Bitty confesses that he’s not Kent’s fiance. He can’t go through with the wedding, and tells everyone the truth. Bitty tearfully explains that he didn’t say anything sooner because he fell in love with the Zimmermann clan and with the experience of being part of a family. And also! He has feelings for Jack. He apologizes and runs away leaving the Zimmermanns sad and confused.
Fast forward to Bitty working at the train station, brokenhearted, and Jack showing up there with the entire family to confess his love for Bitty.
The two live happily ever after. The end!
It’s straight up the entire plot! Bitty as Lucy? Yes, please. Jack as Jack! 100%! Just stick some Zimmermann cousins and siblings in there, a couple Haus peeps, and we’re set!
*chef’s kiss*
I'm very happy to have worked with @excited-insomniac on So Familiar A Gleam for the @bbcmerlin-reversebang!!! It was so much fun, I hope you all go check out the fic!! Thank you to the mods for running things, and for @feuxxfor helping me with art beta!
Merlin and Arthur Pendragon - Art by Alice Blake
Jack Zimmermann brings his ‘A’ game
Behold one (1) Jack Zimmermann bringing his “A” game to his relationship:
get to know me meme - [9/10] male characters: scott mccall
“Not talking makes it easier to keep secrets.”
Fascinated by stories of the - I guess you'd call it the "stolen identity" genre, like, of the Anastasia Romanov variety. But - from both sides.
Your husband has been at war for thirty years. You married when you were teenagers. The man who returns bearing his name looks... plausible, you don't remember his eyes being quite so blue, but it's been thirty years and it's not like you could ever afford to have a portrait painted. He knows your name and the names of your children and your parents, but there are curious gaps in what he remembers. But war does things to the mind. And if he's kinder than you remember? Kind enough that, maybe, you let yourself believe...
No one has ever looked twice at you, since you're just the maid, until the day a revolutionary bomb goes off, blowing a crater in the summer palace. The famously reclusive duchess and the rest of her household lie dead in the rubble. You know that you and she were the same dress size. You know where her jewels are kept. Most importantly, you know the location of the secret tunnel that leads down to the docks, and to a life overseas that would be torturously hard going for a poor maid, especially one suspected as a thief, but a lot more comfortable for a royal in exile...
The old king's most faithful retainer swears this is the heir to the throne, raised in secret and trained to one day step into his father's shoes. As the usurper as dragged off the throne, she screams that the old king's children are all dead, she made sure of it; no one pays her any heed. (Maybe they should have...)
The man in the tavern is buying drinks for the whole bar before he sets sail tomorrow for the far side of the world. He's got it all figured out - a ship of his own, retirement to a tropical paradise when he gets sick of the pirating life. His lip curls as he talks about the stultifying boredom of the aristocratic world he's already left behind. You find out that his parents recently died, and the estate is in the care of his younger sister, who was only six when her brother first left home two decades since. Between the lines, they sound like a good family; they sound like they love him, the way your family never did. Your heart aches. He shows you portraits, letters, before shoving them carelessly back in his coat pocket. They would be so easy to lift...
It's a surprisingly common concept and I just love it. It's The Return of Martin Guerre; it's multiple 90s romcoms; Agatha Christie pulls it half a dozen times. Sooner or later, it crops up in fanfic for just about any fandom with a royal or aristocratic main character.
And I can see why, because there's so much richness to it. From the outside, it can be anything from a horror story to an unlikely love story; from the perspective of the person pulling off the con, a heist movie or a tragedy or a heartwarming tale of found family. And then there are the longer-term implications: What happens if you wear a mask so long that it becomes who you are? What happens if you come to love the "replacement" to the point where you don't want to find out the truth? What is it like to uncover such a deception a century down the line, to find out that your great-grandfather... wasn't?
Just. Identity stories, man. <3