so I've been thinking about something and I'm gonna call it sleep tax
basically, because of my ADHD I need a bit of extra time to get ready in the morning, but also the earlier I wake up the more time I need cause I'm also dealing with sleep deprivation.
So like, if I need to leave home at 8:30 I need to fully wake up by 7:30 so my first alarm has to be at 7:00 so I have time for a few snoozes and an hour to get ready. If I have to leave by 8:00 though I need to wake up fully by 7:00 to even have a chance of getting ready in time and my first alarm has to be around 6:20.
And it gets worse if it's cold cause now there's the extra step of forcing myself into the cold and the cold makes everything else harder to do. So now I have to wake up like 15 minutes earlier to give myself time for that but really my first alarm is way before that so I can have proper snoozing time. Like, Now to leave at 8:30 I have to fully wake up around 7:15 or earlier and my first alarm will be at 6:30.
Now, if waking up this early makes me sleep deprived for whatever reason. Like maybe I had a lot of work the night before, or I had a bad day and ended up staying up late on Tumblr trying to decompress to the point that I could get to sleep, or I just couldn't sleep. Then it'll start a cycle of not so great energy-sapping days where it's hard to sleep and I consistently get to bed closer to 1-2am. Now I'm getting like 6 or less hours of sleep a night and am getting very sleep-deprived so getting ready is even slower. Now I have to wake up even earlier to compensate for that. My first alarm now is at 6:20 (or earlier) so I can wake up at 7:00
And if I have to wake up earlier when I'm already waking up at 7:00 and have to leave around 8:00 instead of 8:30, well I just kind of die cause now I'm waking up at 6:45 with my first alarm at 6:00 or 5:55 all while getting less than 5 hours of sleep a night
So now I'm in this horrible cycle of getting more and more sleep deprived because the sleep deprivation and other stuff makes it harder and harder to get ready so I have to wake up earlier and earlier which makes my days more and more energy-sapping which means I stay up later and I get more sleep-deprived and I'm even slower getting ready and have to wake up earlier and on and on and on