Nonconforming

[adhdlmnop]

I went to an inpatient mental facility (first and hopefully only time) om February 3rd

I came home yesterday.

Home was a big part of the problem, I think.

But I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

So that’s swaggy.

[adhdlmnop]

#GiveCallieHerCatBack #SaveCandy There’s no way this is legal right? My friend has had this cat for years!!!!

[adhdlmnop]

It is winter 2021 we strictly say our hellos and goodbyes with snowballs, and we drink fireball while we sled.

[adhdlmnop]

Daily stomachaches yo ✌️

Every muscle in my body is screaming✌️

I still can’t do push ups✌️

My reasonable side and emotional side are trying to kill each other ✌️

I’m not fat or skinny but I hate my body✌️

I can’t shut off my thoughts ✌️

I literally just want to D A N C E ✌️

Alcohol makes me die inside, I guess?

I only feel okay when I’m high.✌️

I feel like I can’t vent to ANYBODY.✌️

I need to talk to an eatting disorder therapist✌️

So far I am def not doing that ✌️

I’m going to get my shit together✌️

Manic episode is going from “I LOVE LIFE” to “I am afraid of my brain” v fast ✌️

[adhdlmnop]

Pretty fucking BUMMED that I said happy new years by myself for the first time ever while the person I live didn’t even want to hang out with me even though we live together lol I feel super lonely and sad and mad and have nowhere else to complain without getting judge so I’m complaining here y’all can deal with it I’d rather make a post about it than cry about it

[tennant]

— Anyway, happy new year. — And you. 🌠

[adhdlmnop]

😭😭😭😭😭

[adhdlmnop]

My dog: *barking*

Me: Aw. C’mon man don’t be that guy.

[xxchumanixx]

Hilarious🥀👐

[lokiwholockfactory]

This is so my favorite Thor movie

[blanska]

that “oh shit” line is my absolute favorite moment in the history of Thor movies

[supacutiepie]

Why does this fucking movie read like a god damn crack video but ITS ALL CANON AND REAL WTF MR WAITITI

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

I haven’t seen this movie yet but every clip I’ve seen looks like a YouTube poop.

[thecollectibles]

Mermay 2020 by Henry Wong

[thecollectibles]

The Collectibles: Best of 2020

[artbeautypaintings]

[paprika]

[adhdlmnop]

Drink some water bitch

[mielparaoshun]

[sodamnaesthetic]

[adhdlmnop]

EGO CHECK

In case you forgot that we as humans aren’t any better than any other element of the universe.

[adhdlmnop]

Good tidings from Mickey

[adhdlmnop]

There’s always a big undertone of depression around the holidays, especially Christmas, so for the people who are having a hard time here’s a story of encouragement.

I have been struggling with depression since I was, about 10 years old. The older I got the harder Christmas was. I’d be happy but also angry and bitter and sad.

This year has been incredibly hard, from Corona, buying my first home, loved ones struggling with addiction,my own mental health, pregnancy and delivery and most recently post-partum depression.

But there has been success as well. I started mood stabilizers. I’ve help my boyfriend decrease his drinking almost entirely, I have two happy healthy children. Christmas will be spent with loved one (and some people I don’t want to see but that’s okay I can still have a good time) I shower regularly, i clean my dishes and do laundry every day! I took a shower two days in a row!

To people not struggling with depression some of that might seem silly to be proud of. Normal people aren’t impressed by themselves when they brush their teeth regularly or match socks and actually Put. Laundry. Away.

But this is the biggest and most consistently I have ever had any good habits it’s only been about a month. I’m getting passed the “omg I finally actually feel F A B.” And getting into the flow and realizing there is still natural “normal” sadness and I don’t have to lose my success just because I have a bad or “lazy” day.

And I’m actually excited for Christmas.

This post isn’t to brag (maybe a little)

This post is to remind people who are struggling, you can do it! Even if all you are doing is getting threw to the next day (a lot of the time that’s all I did)

I felt 100% that any day I would end it all.

But here I am. Wednesday morning, 9Am, drinking coffee, about to take my meds, cleaning my house, and preparing my kids for Christmas.

And I think make some waffles.