Pretty Fly for a White Guy

He/Him

[bewbin]

this scene always cracked me up as a kid

[omofish]

[oneheadtoanother]

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

[tributary]

there is nothing innate about men that prevents them from competently cleaning

[tributary]

when people say things like “he’s a guy so any cleaning he does is ‘guy cleaning’” they mean “lower your expectations because men are slobs.” but women aren’t inherently neat (messiness is definitely a trait i have), and this just lets men off the hook when they don’t do domestic chores competently. it’s all social all the way down.

[tributary]

this also goes for cooking, and childcare, and and and

[cumaeansibyl]

it's hilarious to me that the same people who say you can't trust men to be thorough and meticulous with domestic tasks will trust those very same men with POWER TOOLS

if you can't wash a dish properly I'm not even letting you touch the grown-up scissors

[lilnasxdaily]

LIL NAS X wins VIDEO OF THE YEAR and BEST VISUAL EFFECTS at the 2021 VMAs !

[bubblysnake]

[pietriarchy]

No offense but seeing a girl who says she's bi end up with a man is always just kinda... typical

This argument always tires me out because the odds of easily meeting a man who’s attracted to women versus a woman who is is just generally way higher. (For example if you select both on tinder you get maybe 1 woman for every 30 men if you’re lucky) The dating pool is really skewed in one direction if you’re bi, so of course it happens a lot. (Also some wlw won’t date bi women)

Second of all, if you think that makes me not bi or something more power to you but it won't uneat the pussy of the past mate 

[mascbi]

even if the dating pool was completely even like.... u may still "end up" w a man if ur bisexual... cuz thats what... bisexuality is. literally ppl think bi women r supposed 2 b lesbians n if theyre not lesbians (bc theyre BI) then they must just b str8..

[nightingalesighs]

Annnnnnd even if you’ve never been with a woman and you “end up” with a guy...you’re still bi. Because hey. There are literally sooooooo many reasons for this and each and every one of them are valid.

[miazeklos]

Also not to be dramatic, but there’s something ever so slightly dehumanising about speaking to/about bi people as if we’re fictional characters that the writers have made a bad choice with. “seeing a girl who says she's bi end up with a man is always just kinda... typical" sorry that the actual breathing living human being (who is also a perfect stranger on the Internet!) that you’re talking to somehow owed you to enter a different kind of relationship I guess

[january-warlock]

Hey remember my posts on how people consider bi bodies to be there for their consumption in one way or another and think our relationships and personal choices are up for public discussion? Lmao.

[rhysintherain]

There's also a distinct flavor of radfem-type sexism in there that suggests, if given a choice in the gender of your partner, the only just and moral option would be to avoid being with men at all costs.

It's like, straight girls don't have a choice in the matter, but bi girls are supposed to know better. Choosing a man when you could have chosen a woman is seen as a betrayal and a moral failing, and, after wilfully picking the option they considered to be more dangerous, the judgers consider bi women deserving of condemnation and abuse.

It's an extension of the idea that men and women are fundamentally different and incompatible, and as such is far more in line with conservative christian thought than with the feminism it pretends to be.

[logarithmicpanda]

Anyone else has like... The inability to form habits?

Like normal people, they repeat something daily for a couple weeks and it sticks. They might miss a day here or there, but the overall habit is formed.

Me? I can push myself to do the same task daily for 8 months, forget one day, and it's gone. I realize 3 weeks later that i have not done it a single time since.

[naamahdarling]

ADHD mood.

[randomfandomteacher]

[pattinsonsupremacy]

simu liu used to model for stock images and now he’s using them as reaction pics- THIS MAN IS TRULY SOMETHING ELSE I LOVE HIM

[chicagosfinest2021]

And there it is.

Men actually ADMITTING that they realize a lot of men are fully aware that they are generally unlikeable, have little substance and little to offer a woman in a relationship.

They're also admitting that said men are becoming butthurt about the fact that women now more than ever are making the conscious decision to no longer settle for them just so we won't have to deal with the "shame" of being single.

Insecure and self-entitled men are literally upset over the fact that women no longer need them the way we used to in the past. Their sense of self-worth is dependent on female validation and instead of stepping up their game, changing how they think, etc, they're starting to pout and throw tantrums over how useless they feel.

[ashleyw0224]

Ok he came caused a scene with facts and left

[thebibliosphere]

Admitting my star sign was a mistake.

[thebibliosphere]

“Oh, so that’s why you are they way you are. You’re two fire signs ruled over by water!”

Pretty sure it’s just the ADHD.

[hugintheraven]

A fun thing to do whenever someone asks you your sign is to lie about your birthday. It still means listening to them attempt to explain your entire personality badly for a few minutes, but then you can undercut them as soon as it gets too annoying. 

[gallusrostromegalus]

So, for a while I was doing mailroom/account followup work for a nonprofit, and on my firt day there, one of the ladies, “Debbie” asked me when my Birthday was. Assuming she was planning office Birthday parties, I told her.

The next day she came in with my ENTIRE star chart with personality tropes, life advice, predicitons for my future and so on. Now, I don’t go in for Astrology but I can tell when someone is making a well-meaning gesture and I can say “Thank you” and shut up.

Especially because I told her the Wrong Birthday.

See, my birthday is in the middle of a cluster of a whole bunch of family birthdays and growing up I used to have to share my Birthday with my older cousins and while that’s not really a big deal (even fun if you’re older) it kinda sucks when you’re five and none of your cousins share your interests.

So mom made a deal with me: We’d celebrate my “Un-Birthday” in January, when nobody else in the family has a birthday or anything else, and the “real” birthday would be my Cousin’s. I got my own birthday and they got a second party and it was fun.

As I got older, I just started using my Un-Birthday for everything except paperwork, becuase January is boring and bereft of holidays except the one that’s really part of Xmas these days. On paperwork, I put my real one, but I’ve been celebrating my birthday in the wrong month for over 25 years now, and didn’t think about it when she asked, and told her my Un-Birthday.

And for a few weeks everything was fine.

But Debbie had a RIVAL.

Another woman in the office “Sharon” was also big into Astrology and was convinced Debbie was Doing It Wrong, so when she was going over payroll, she saw my Legal Birthday, realized Debbie had filled out the chart wrong, and then proceded to drag Debbie on the company facebook group, and a bunch of astrology groups they were both in.

I found out when I came in three days later from a long weekend and Debbie burst into tears and sobbed “HOW COULD YOU LIE TO MEEEEEE???”

After an extremely garbled recounting by our coworkers, a talk with my manager about “Hey yeah I don’t think it’s Legal for Sharon to take my name and date of birth from Payroll and put it all over facebook?”, the manager had a talk about “I know you are all over 50 but this is NOT WHAT THE COMPANY FACEBOOK IS FOR”, Sharon was ‘removed from the premesis’ and I finally got to sit down with Debbie.

I explained the slip-up and how I sort of have two birthdays and think of the January Birthday is my “Real” one.

Debie looked up from where she’d been sobbing into her tissue all morning, realization dawning on her less like the illumination of the sun and more like a baby sea turtle headed in the wrong direction because of light Pollution.

“Oh!” She said “You’re TRANS-ZODIAC! You might have been born as an Aries, but you’re really a Capricorn!”

As someone who’s been hit by a minivan and gotten a minor skull fracture from it, I’m pretty sure hearing that sentence gave me more brain damage.

“Sure Debbie.”

[thebibliosphere]

You know, I had no idea where this ride was going to take us, but of all the outcomes I expected, that was not it.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Debbie was a kind woman with room in her heart for all the people of the world and the critical thinking skills of a Sea Cucumber.

[humofnight]

i love one (1) disaster wizard

[curlicuecal]

It’s a good metaphor tho, because the situation is never going to get better if you don’t eventually pull the door. And afterwards, no matter what the damage was, you’ll have a working cabinet, whatever plates you could salvage, and a place to start putting new plates.

[artbymoga-deactivated20200516]

Reblogging for that comment ^

[starjeweled-alpenglow]

Hats off for negative jokes turned to wholesome posts

[rosarenn]

So this was me for a long time. Afraid to open the door, certain that all that I was would crash and break. That I could never be repaired.

But I opened the door.

And what fell out and crashed to the ground was not me. They weren’t my dishes.

They were other people’s dishes.

Put inside we without my permission, when I was too young to know that I could not hold them all.

I opened the door, and I’m still here.

It turns out, I’m not that fragile.

[randomslasher]

Oh damn it got better

[knight-of-time64-deactivated202]

THANK YOU TWO FOR MAKING OUR LIVES A LITTLE BETTER

[scalproie]

[triangleeyebrowsandpocketgods-d]

[sandandglass]

[vetmedirl]

God bless nurses forever

[dynamite5ftjewishbitch]

[marvelvsmarvel]

The Cast of Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings at the Red Carpet World Premiere

Simu Liu, Awkwafina, Menger Zhang, Ronny Chieng, Sir Ben Kingsley, Benedict Wong, Fala Chen, Andy Le, and Director Destin Daniel Cretton with Eternals Director Academy Award Winner Chloe Zhao

[tommysparker]

some of my favs from this thread:

bonus:

[karenwilson]

SIMU LIU at the premiere for Marvel's Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

[carbon--14]

GET THEIR ASS

[dogin8]

ALEX HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY KING