Advanced Potions

Chemistry, Only Better.

[lakesdeadblog-deactivated202009]

my gf can just scoops me up anytime she wants me to stop what i’m doing… tall ppl have an unfair advantage 

[ironfamdaily]

Iron Man 3 (2013) dir. Shane Black

[cutepetsuwu]

Checkup

[princesstigerbelle]

Why does he look like cookie dough ice cream

[trr3rr]

thats what hes made of

[princesstigerbelle]

He is what he is

[ruby-white-rabbit]

So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5'2" girl.

Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.

I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.

Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet

[kyuubinu-deactivated20190226]

This is like a Scooby Doo bit I love it

[missmamibee]

love this video of three japanese fisherman seeing a cat and losing their minds

[missmamibee]

sequel 

[hexmaniacmareen]

they adopted her and her name is now marimo-chan!!!

[hexmaniacmareen]

they REALLY love that cat, yall

[helpeverythingiscats]

MY HEART

[aromantic-spinda]

My friend: can I ask you for relationship advice?

Me: *prepares a wheel of fortune where the only two options are "communicate" and "break up"* yeah sure go ahead

[oneechangoddess]

Working in retail is wild, people just tell me things about their personal life and I just stand there. I don’t know how to respond to “my kid just died” or “I’m getting a divorce” like that’s sucks… $13.48 is your total.

[funny-history]

[thestereotypebuster]

How to turn Hamlet into a comedy: 

mmm whatcha say

[argumate]

sci-fi plot: yeah and in this futuristic city he meets a woman–

producer: is she a stripper? is she a callgirl? does she get her tits out? is she a cop working undercover as a stripper? is she a sexy assassin who has sex with her victims and then kills them sexily? is she a robot stripper? is she a mystical being of pure energy who has no need for clothes and a great rack? is she a holographic beer advertisement?

[argumate]

sci-fi plot: she’s an engineer who designs robots–

producer: does she wear a formfitting skintight jumpsuit? can you see her nipples? how well-defined is the crotch area? tell me about her feet

[mother-sauces]

i got this new sci-fi plot. basically there’s this robot girl except she’s got huge boobs. i mean some serious e-bees. a real set of cybadonkers. packin some jack-on-honkeros. massive crytopnecrovexillontonlogicals. big ol’ newton-hong-kong-erekoogers. what happens next?! evil corporate robot shows up with even bigger laser-mammos. humongous hydro-carbonic-pectoral-lactosers.

[folktaylor]

all i know about the women’s soccer team is that they’re hot, they won, and they deserve to be paid more than the men

[beggars-opera]

The best notes written in manuscripts by medieval monks

Colophon: a statement at the end of a book containing the scribe or owner’s name, date of completion, or bitching about how hard it is to write a book in the dark ages

Oh, my hand

The parchment is very hairy

Thank God it will soon be dark

St. Patrick of Armagh, deliver me from writing

Now I’ve written the whole thing; for Christ’s sake give me a drink

Oh d fuckin abbot

Massive hangover

Whoever translated these Gospels did a very poor job

Cursed be the pesty cat that urinated over this book during the night

If someone else would like such a handsome book, come and look me up in Paris, across from the Notre Dame cathedral

I shall remember, O Christ, that I am writing of Thee, because I am wrecked today

Do not reproach me concerning the letters, the ink is bad and the parchment scanty and the day is dark

11 golden letters, 8 shilling each; 700 letters with double shafts, 7 shilling for each hundred; and 35 quires of text, each 16 leaves, at 3 shilling each. For such an amount I won’t write again

Here ends the second part of the title work of Brother Thomas Aquinas of the Dominican Order; very long, very verbose; and very tedious for the scribe; thank God, thank God, and again thank God

If anyone take away this book, let him die the death, let him be fried in a pan; let the falling sickness and fever seize him; let him be broken on the wheel, and hanged. Amen

[branewurms]

what does oh d fuckin abbot even MEAN

[a-spoon-is-born]

an abbot is the head of a monastery so it just means “fuck my boss” basically, an abbreviation of “O damned fuckin Abbot”. this is what it looks like:

Brasenose College MS 7, f.62v 

[insertusernameici]

I just laugh everytime. 

Evil deed of the day: Walk on the grass.

[consultingfujoshi]

[fuckyeahisawthat]

It also switches them back to their default positions of Crowley always being on Aziraphale’s left (which they can’t do in the car because right-side driving). It’s a hilarious way to turn an unremarkable bit of blocking into a character moment.

[slytherkins]

When we were watching this the first time I was like, ‘Look at Az being all respectful of the lawn and Crowley not giving a fuck.’ 

I LOVE THESE LITTLE DETAILS

[rhymewithrachel]

“Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one?”

[thebibliosphere]

ETD and I have been together for over 13 years at this point (married 6) and tonight was the first time I’ve ever shared any of my erotica writing with him. He never reads any of the things I post, fanfic doesn’t interest him and he’s never actually read anything of Phangs unless I’ve actively shown it to him. And then tonight I needed help with something and I could feel my entire soul leaving my body when he got to the sex scene, just like, irrationally embarrassed, like somehow this was crossing a new level of intimacy despite everything we already do.

He found it hilarious. Not the sex scene, thankfully, but my reaction. He thought it was the sweetest cutest thing and just kept laughing at me while I tried to melt through time and space into another dimension. And then quite casually he just asked “whose dick are we talking about here?” and I lost it. I am gone. Dusted. See you in the next life.

[thebibliosphere]

The thing is I don’t give a singular fuck about anyone else reading it. Total strangers? Fuck, I’ve formed entire friendships on the filth I’m willing to share with people online. It was my hecking professional job at one point to do nothing but this, and it is once more again my job.

But my husband? Reading my work?

Pass me the fainting salts I think I’m having a conniption.

[torsamors-deactivated20250510]

This is one of the thai restaurants in my hometown and i can tell you first hand this lady is wonderful

[torsamors-deactivated20250510]

little update bc someone from my hometown wrote an article about her and these are some highlights:

and my personal favorite:

[lookninjas]

Found the article.

Should’ve known it was Marquette.

[antique-scarecrow]

this is such a fun article and also:

and bc it’s worth reiterating:

[wishbzne-deactivated20210526]

suicide note (anne sexton) as quoted in searching for mercy street: my journey back to my mother, linda gray sexton

[ID: black text in a beige background that reads “I will go now without old age or disease, wildly but accurately, knowing my best route.” end ID]