bready

29 / ✨🍊

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[beadyeyes]

Let's fucking grab this Wednesday by the nothing

[bfwonho]

this image just tickles me in a certain way like... not 'as hard as i can' but as soon.. he is too busy to laugh right now and he doesnt know when he will be available but he'll try to squeeze it in

[everyday-cutephoto]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

sweetiepie OFFICIAL meeting

[charl0ttan]

uhh my two cents are fucking each other

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[tooies]

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

[lustcannibalism]

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

[lustcannibalism]

there is a world out there I can’t comprehend

[typecasto]

behold, context

[toweringclam]

[targetedknowledge]

[tpwrtrmnky]

It's really quite bizarre how much work in trans healthcare bases itself on the idea that a patient who deliberately seeks out the Penis Removal Doctor and says "Yes, Penis Removal Doctor, I am certain that I would like to have my penis removed" might be lying to the Penis Removal Doctor, so that they can have their penis removed without actually wanting that.

[charl0ttan]

[larval-tear]

it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

[bigmeatpete69420]

This princess forgot about super glue

[larval-tear]

sorry i am a dumb bitch

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[irondive]

[cartooncoyote]

This is actually the best intro to a porno that has ever existed

[satanblessitt-deactivated201608]

There is no way this is a porno

[zombiesahoy]

This is the best porno there has ever been.

[usingtimewisely]

The way he says “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” shaped me as a person

[foldingfittedsheets]

I hope today someone is in the lucky 10,000 and sees this for the first time.

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

(eating a pill i found on the floor of the club bathroom) hope it's a placebo. i don't need any effects right now

[pukicho]

Cave divers are our bravest, most useless soldiers

[fivetrench]

But without cave divers, who would rescue all the stuck cave divers?

[pukicho]

Every cave dive rescue operation involves a second, even more stuck cave diver.