also literally fucked a man so hard yesterday that today i found pieces of my bed on the floor
I read this too fast and thought it said âpieces of him on the floorâ
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ellievsbear
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
ojovivo
h

shark vs the universe
Sade Olutola
Game of Thrones Daily
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
YOU ARE THE REASON
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$LAYYYTER

â
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

blake kathryn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost

seen from Armenia
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States

seen from Iraq
seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from Italy

seen from Singapore

seen from United States
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seen from Guatemala

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seen from France
@afrodragon
also literally fucked a man so hard yesterday that today i found pieces of my bed on the floor
I read this too fast and thought it said âpieces of him on the floorâ
I'm pretty on board with the headcanon that what Link gets out of being the bearer of the Triforce of Courage is the power of being a video game protagonist, but I genuinely can't decide whether it would be funnier if he's 100% aware of how much bullshit his everything is, or if he honestly doesn't realise.
Like, does he know that normal people can't recover from life-threatening wounds in a matter of minutes by drinking a jar of really good soup? It's the sort of thing you'd assume would be obvious just from being around other human beings, and yet.
The fact that Breath of the Wild Link's laser-parrying trick is something that only works for him is made explicit in the dialogue, so presumably he's at least aware that it's exceptional, but does he understand that it's complete bullshit, or does he think it's just a skill issue?
Link: No, that's fair, if I fuck up the timing I have to eat a laser to the chest and that is, understandably, extremely painful, so I don't recommend you practice this unless you're really confident about your timing.
Random Guard:...Link people die if they take those to the chest.
Link: I mean you should be angling yourself, i'm not saying to just let your sternum take a whole blow, to just take it square, that's a terrible idea
Random Guard: It explodes rocks.
Link: You have armor for a reason my guy.
Random Guard: ...
Link: If it helps, drinking some fire resist potions has proven to be moderately effective for me.
Random Guard: The Ones you apply to your skin?
Link: What
Random Guard: What
you canât change fate
I CAN SAVE HIM
What if on day 777 there was angel frog so the devil frog from day 666 could have a friend :)
day 777
My only interesting/ notable talent is that I can make baby alligators RUN to my feet solely by making this annoying sound
Got some more alligator ASMR for yâall- crank up the volume for prehistoric chills
I see so many prankers go way too far, ending up harming people, but this one, this is an innocent good prank đ
Itâs a Potato
I've seen hell
Would you invite them to your island?
The Army of Poland employed a brown bear as part of an artillery team in the Second World War. His name was Wojtek (pronounced "voytek") and he worked in the 22nd Artillery Company.
In spring of 1942, after the Soviet invasion of Poland in 1939, thousands of Polish citizens and elements of the Polish military were deported from Soviet territory. They journeyed through Iran to British Palestine.
Along the way, they encountered an Iranian boy with an orphaned bear cub. According to the boy, the cub's mother had been killed by hunters. The teenage neice of a Polish general convinced an officer to buy the bear cub, which they nursed back to health and eventually made their mascot.
The bear was trained to perform a military salute, cuddle with soldiers on cold nights, and even march with them by standing on his back legs. He copied the soldiers in every way, even attempting to smoke cigarettes (he usually just ate them).
When the Polish army finally reunited with allied forces, they were assigned to join the invasion of Italy alongside the British 8th Army. However, the transport ships banned all pets and mascot animals.
The Poles refused to leave Wojtek, and got around the rule by drafting the bear into the army as a legally recognized soldier. He had his own personal records files, his own paycheck, his own dogtag ID number, and even held the rank of Private.
It wasn't symbolic, either. Private Wojtek actually participated in combat at the Battle of Monte Casino by carrying 100-pound crates full of artillery shells. It was a job that normal required four men, but Wojtek did it alone and perfectly, never dropping a single shell. His actions kept the artillery barrage well supplied until Allied forces finally seized the fortified mountaintop from Nazi paratroopers.
In recognition of his excellent performance, Private Wojtek was promoted to Corporal Wojtek and the 22nd Artillery Company made their flag the image of a bear lifting an artillery shell. They still use that flag today.
After the war, Corporal Wojtek retired to the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland, where he was frequently visited by fellow Polish veterans, who game him cigarettes just like old times. He enjoyed a long and happy life, weighing over 1,000 pounds as any successful brown bear should. There are several memorials in his honor, both in Poland and Scotland.
I want to meet the legendary balls-to-the-wall WW2 Veteran who first said "LÄte PrĂvÄtÉ BĂŤÂŞr McBĂ¨Ä rfÌçe CĂĄrĹĂ˝ TÄ§Ä FĂťckĂnÄ ĂxpløsivÄs"
Imagine being a private, and getting transfered into this unit. Only to learn the Bear Outranks you.
A Bear wearing a Hat: bruUUAUGHHggnn
Some army guy: Corporal Wojtek just asked you a question you dumb sack of shit
*says a prayer to Osha before committing acts not safe at the workplace*
*bracing self as i prepare to smack a box full of product off a high shelf with a stick and attempt to catch it* Osha protect me. Osha guide me. Osha deliver me from harm.. amen
love to follow veterinarian practices on facebook because every one in a while theyâll post a picture of something so bizarrely funny. this axolotl getting an x-ray just took me out