“Nah.” I wink. “I’m worried about you.”
“Well, yeah. If I keep coming over to see you, your sisters will start getting insanely jealous, and their resentment will eventually make them treat you poorly and you’ll lose all of your friends. Is that really what you want, Semi?”
She laughs. “Oh no! You’re right. From now on you should climb in through my window. Like Romeo.” Her tongue shifts her lollipop to the other side of her mouth. “Spoiler alert: Romeo dies.”
“I burst out laughing at the outlandish question. “Please, for the love of God, keep your pants on.”
“You sure?” Hunter says, his fingers poised over the button of his jeans.
“Your loss.” He winks and shoves his hands behind his head.
Davenport is entertaining, I’ll give him that”
“So, Mister…?” I wait for him to fill in the rest.
“Veto. You can do better than that.”
I sigh. “Smith,” I say firmly. “You’re Mr. Smith. First name, um, Damien.”
“Like the devil kid from that horror movie? Veto. It’s bad karma.”
“You’re bad karma,” I mutter. Jesus, it’s taking forever just to record his fake name. At this rate, the project will never get done. “Fine, your first name is Richard, you picky dick.” He snorts.”
“A laugh pops out of his mouth. “We haven’t started the session. I’m being serious. I’m celibate.”
“Practicing abstinence,” he clarifies.
“I know what celibacy is, Hunter. I just don’t believe you.”
“How?” Hunter falls back on his elbows, his ripped body shaking with laughter.”
“How long has it been for you?” I can’t help but ask, because curiosity is a bitch.
“Since I fucked someone?”
“No, since you climbed Everest.”
“April. So…what’s that…five months?”
“You poor monk! That’s an eternity!” I tease.
“I know.” He lies down on the grass, using his backpack as a pillow. “It’s awful, Semi. I miss sex.”
“That’s a cruel thing to say.”
“HUNTER: Did you watch the Bruins game last night??
In one of our previous text exchanges, he’d been raving about some game on TV, and I’d mentioned I’d be sure to start watching hockey. I don’t think he picked up on the sarcasm.
ME: Oh ya! It was INTENSE! I can’t believe that player scored nineteen points!!!
HIM: You didn’t watch it, did you?
ME: No. Sorry. Told you, I don’t care for hockey.
HIM: I expected more from my therapist. Goodbye.”
“I miss blowjobs,” Hunter declares at the gym an hour later.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I tell him.
“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to my dick.”
Snorting, I dip my gaze south. Not gonna lie—his package is kind of impressive beneath his black track pants. I make a magnanimous gesture at his crotch. “I’m sincerely sorry for your recent troubles, Hunter’s dick.”
Hunter’s dick’s owner nods soberly. “He appreciates the sentiment.”
This fucking guy. He is either the best or the worst. I still haven’t decided.”
“Nope, nope, nope,” he announces. “You’re not allowed to be one of those girls, Semi.”
“I don’t believe in outhouses, okay? I prefer camping in a place with walls and a toilet and Wi-Fi and—”
“Exactly. It’s glamping, like I said.”
“Will you please stop booing me?”
“Just when I was starting to like you, I find out you’re a spoiled Miami brat who refuses to sleep in a tent.”
“I didn’t say it so you would say it back. I said it because I felt it. I’m in love with you. And I don’t want to kiss anybody but you.”
“That woman is literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
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