You Sly Dog! You Got Me Monologuing.

(Selim) Filmmaker, Writer. 

[trashselim]

Anonymous requested: Best sassy/sarcastic JARVIS moments.

“I seem to do quite well for a stretch and then at the end of the sentence I say the wrong cranberry.”

[trashselim]

T H E    M E C H A N I C

[nadiahilker]

i’m always a slut for a christmas au 

“i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”

“i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years” SNOWBALL FIGHTS

“hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”

person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)

“you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”

“YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”

“i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”

I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

“we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”

“i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”

“’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”

“we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”

“YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”

TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you) 

“we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together” FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 

“we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now” 

DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”) 

TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)

“there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas” 

PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF 

“i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”

[capes]

rolls into a ditch

[romanoba]

[phantograms]

This series, called Adulthood, was made for my capstone workshop class and it’s basically a snarky look inside my mind and how I feel about being an “adult”

(PS: if you scan the QR code on the wine bottle it will take you to a personal favorite piece of High Art)

[trashselim]

Egyptian Situational comedy: Pulp Culture Trailer 2

An Egyptian made situational comedy web-series centered around three high schoolers in their last year of high school in Egypt, The entire show is set to be ...

Hey guys, so a little update on why I’ve been MIA, it’s because I’ve been developing my dream project for the past year and a half. and I’m almost done with it. I’ve poured my heart into it and financed it from my own money and I’m super super proud of all the work me and my entire team put into it. It’s super indie and we don’t have a lot of money just essentials, camera, sound. And a decent script. It takes place in Egypt but the story is in english all in all, so it can be enjoyed by people all around the world. It centers around three high-schoolers in their last year of school and has themes from control, family, friendship, class and acceptance. If this ends up getting as little as 2 notes I’m still happy of the work I did and this site had been such an important part of my development and I met a lot of great people here and if those 2 people feel like they want to continue on following me, I’m more active on twitter, same handle. Lots of love to all of you <3 

[horseman-bojack]

Season 5, Episode 6 - Free Churro

You know what it’s like? It’s like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show, hoping it would get better, and it never did. It had all the right pieces, but it just— it couldn’t put them together. And when it got canceled, I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better, and now it never would be. And that’s what losing a parent is like. It’s like Becker. Suddenly, you realize you’ll never have the good relationship you wanted, and as long as they were alive, even though you’d never admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamned part of you, was still holding on to that chance. And you didn’t even realize it until that chance went away. “My mother is dead, and everything is worse now.” Because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across the room and says: “BoJack Horseman, I see you.”

[dcvertigoblog]

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

man

the creators of superman really named a small town “smallville” and a big city “metropolis” didn’t they 

[robdowneyjr]

“So, to become an Avenger, are there like trials, or an interview?” 

[hamtastrophe]

tumblr: *just stops loading*

tumblr: ah the fricking connection went bloo blah? the frocking internetz0rz go poofsies? teh world wide web goblins took a lunch break and are smoking spice in teh parking lot?

[animusrox]

[dailymarvelheroes]

get you a man who can do both

[nitramaraho]

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

[crystalitesummerstar]

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

[buzzfeed]

We interviewed her, obviously.

[buzzfeed]

update:

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

Rey and kylo are like. Theyre like. Okay now this post is going to be for my fellow nerd lesbians but like. Have you ever been into like a niche nerdy thing like an anime or videogame or some shit and the only other person who likes it in your school or whatever is this weirdo angry greaseboy?? And you can like kind of get along JUST talking about The Thing and like if you have a conversation about literally anything else you cant stand it cuz hes just that bad. and he takes the fact that you also know what anime is as a sign that youre into him??? Thats kylo ren to me

[knowing]

[teamvalkyrie]

Thor and Loki are just two rich kids from outer space and we shouldn’t really give a sh*t about what their problems are.

Taika Waititi (via arabiaoflawrence)