❛ Now that I’ve untangled you, how about you do something for me? ❜
❛ All right! I just don’t see why you like it so much! ❜
❛ Babe, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well. ❜
❛ I’m fine! Hey, I’m great! I’m just, I’m just proud of us. ❜
❛ I realize that you didn’t expect to walk in and see that, but… Let me explain, okay? ❜
❛ We weren’t doing anything! ❜
❛ Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. ❜
❛ I’m sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. ❜
❛ How could you mess this up? It’s so easy. ❜
❛ If I wanted this cake to be a disaster, I would have baked it myself! ❜
❛ I know what you’re thinking! The resemblance is uncanny! ❜
❛ It’s the longest I’ve ever spent on a computer without looking at porn. ❜
❛ You just got to accept the fact that this is going to cost you a lot of money. ❜
❛ Dude, I don’t think you should be wearing that. ❜
❛ Oh, I see. Somebody’s afraid of a little competition with the ladies? ❜
❛ If you had to, what would you give up? Food or sex? ❜
❛ It’s perfect! It’s everything we’ve been looking for! ❜
❛ What? When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys? ❜
❛ Why don’t you sit down… get yourself comfortable… because I have a little surprise for you. ❜
❛ Please just…just pull yourself together okay? ❜
❛ We’re not a couple- we’re definitely not a couple. ❜
❛ What, I’m not good enough for you? ❜
❛ Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that.. ❜
❛ We’re not gonna have this conversation again. ❜
❛ Oh, you are, you really do like big butts, don’t you? ❜
❛ Why can’t you be supportive? ❜
❛ You have always been jealous of me! ❜
❛ You want to know why you don’t want me to have the baby? ❜
❛ You have to have everything and I couldn’t have anything. ❜
❛ Wait a minute; you don’t think it was intentional? ❜
❛ So, does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? ❜
❛ Uh, don’t you think that would be a little weird? ❜
❛ We were on a break! ❜
❛ For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says. ❜
❛ I’m kind of going through a dry spell, sex wise.. ❜
❛ I’m across the street, having sex right now. ❜
❛ Whoa—hey—wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? ❜
❛ What? Are you afraid you’re gonna run out? ❜
❛ Any minute now, the police will be here. ❜
❛ Well, if you’re gonna get to know him then you’d better do it now. ❜
❛ Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam! ❜
❛ If only there was something in your head to control the things you say! ❜
❛ You know what, ____? Why don’t you just put that on your answering machine! ❜
❛ Oh, I’m sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else? ❜
❛ There is no right or wrong, here. ❜
❛ You just asked me whether I wanted to go to bed with you tonight! ❜
❛ You know how some people walk in a room and everybody takes notice? ❜
❛ It’s never taken me a week to get over a relationship. ❜
❛ It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship. ❜
❛ Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum? ❜
❛ I started using humor as a defense mechanism. ❜
❛ Uh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? ❜
❛ Now it’s not gonna make any sense! ❜
❛ It’s not the sweater. It’s what’s underneath the sweater that counts. ❜
❛ You’re so stupid, how are you not yet extinct? ❜
❛ I broke up with you because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you. ❜
❛ Why would you need to say “hi” to them? ❜
❛ I’m just going to wander around in the rain. ❜
❛ I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses. ❜
❛ That’s kind of a masculine name, don’t you think? ❜
❛ “Don’t count on it.” Seems like it works to me. ❜
❛ I went to the park and let a bee sting me. ❜
❛ I’m really getting tired of always sneaking around all the time. ❜
❛ I don’t even feel like I know you any more. ❜
❛ Whatever you say, I’ll believe you. ❜
❛ All right, I’m just going to ask you this one time. ❜
❛ I’m surprised you didn’t go home wearing your lunch! ❜
❛ Someday I’ll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop! ❜
❛ Look, we’re not just messing around! ❜
❛ I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way. ❜
❛ You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? ❜
❛ You were worried about me? You didn’t know how I was going to react? ❜
❛ Do you really think the best reason to get married is because you’re sorry? ❜
❛ I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week. ❜
❛ I can’t talk you out of this. It’s a great life. ❜
❛ I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. ❜
❛ I mean, didn’t you even run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? ❜
❛ What did you do that bad that make dad cut you off? ❜
❛ I guess it makes sense, you know, having such a terrible childhood. ❜
❛ I had a terrible childhood and I don’t do porn. ❜
❛ I always thought having a heart attack was nature’s way of telling you to die! ❜
❛ I mean… you — you are going to die, but you’re not gonna die today. ❜
❛ I mean, if you’re not careful, you may not get married at all this year. ❜
❛ Can we come in yet? We’re dying out here! ❜
❛ I didn’t know it was a big secret. ❜
❛ Why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? ❜
❛ It’s a known fact that women love babies, all right? ❜
❛ I was doing great before I found out about you! ❜
❛ And it’s not like I didn’t try, but things got in the way! ❜
❛ I’ve been doing this for ten years and I haven’t gotten anywhere. ❜
❛ You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme. ❜
❛ Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? ❜
❛ What’s the worst that could happen? ❜
❛ How do you expect me to grow if you won’t let me blow? ❜
❛ Why must everybody watch me sleep? ❜
❛ Haven’t you ever gotten beat up before? ❜
❛ It’s such a shame you can’t see what finger I’m holding up. ❜
❛ I didn’t know what I was taking responsibility for! ❜
❛ When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me. ❜
❛ I would’ve thought it was the other way around. ❜
❛ I remember I cried the night you made that up. ❜
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