I’m Actually Mark 🦑

Married Autistic Introvert 🖤 IG: AguynamedDean • Rain • Movies • Wine • Gaming •

[thatsbelievable]

[aguynameddean]

𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗺 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀: 𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗠𝗲𝗹𝘁𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺:

Autistic meltdown is an uncontrollable reaction by your brain being triggered

Sounds, smells, emotional related, not being able to understand what you're feeling.

As adults, autistic meltdowns are humilating. They are mentally and physically draining and exhuasting.

Physical overstimulation, too many people in your space, pressure of having to hug or give hugs etc.

You're born autistic, you die autistic. You don't grow from it.

Autistic meltdowns are not just for kids. Autistic kids aren't the only autistic people that have meltdowns. It continues in life. Can potentionally get worse as more stresses are placed upon you

[aguynameddean]

While the world and those in it add fuel to your hate, she adds peace contentment - 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳

[aguynameddean]

𝐁𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

[fictional point of view]

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻: 𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦. 𝘩𝘰𝘸’𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺?

𝗬𝗼𝘂: 𝘐’𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴. 𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘵. 𝘏𝘰𝘸’𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨?

(𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 * 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐧*)

• 2 months later • Nostalgic Link

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻: 𝘏𝘢𝘩𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺?

𝗬𝗼𝘂: 𝘖𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵. 𝘚𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘐 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘢𝘭𝘣𝘶𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵. 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶?

(𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 * 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐧*)

I don’t really understand people. They can be so exhausting and at times kind of self absorbed. I think I’ve had enough attempts at this point in my life, even at times changing myself and who I am as a person trying to make friends, to realise it’s just too difficult, it’s so incredibly difficult. It’s not worth the stress and anxiety always trying so hard to be liked. And it’s not that I’m the problem, because I’m absolutely not, I spent many many years socialising online, including a tinycams group, being part of an instagram horror movie watching group (that was awesome) even being part of a gaming community on steam for over 7 years. I got on much faster with people online than off. Social interaction wasn’t a struggle. It wasn’t filled with anxiety between sending OR receiving something as it is nowadays. Sometimes, I’m just not given the time of day, or if I am, I’ve got a short time before the attention span is already gone. People like to talk often. When they’re not talking they’re attention span seems weaker than a horsefly. If it’s not important to them, it’s not important.

Sometimes, and I’m not alone in this as I’ve seen others talk about it on social media. It’s hard making friends, especially entering your 30s. It feels almost like people aren’t really interested in befriending as much, and to be honest, after trying so hard, I’m kind of on the same boat. I’ve noticed you aren’t really missing out on anything, it’s a lot of effort when it isn’t reciprocated, and it appears being in a circle of friends adds more anxiety, pressure, stress (this from an outside perspective). It’s not, not, worth the stress on your mental health.

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I just wanted to spill my brain a little bit today as I always feel better writing stuff down. And that’s it.

• I’ve always thought how can introverts ever learn to socially interact and make friends, if people won’t give them much time to practise interacting •

[pwh3]

Rainy September nights in New York.

[redsc0rpse]

Strong winds and high tides batter the coastal road close to Newtownards, Northern Ireland. 
(Sunday, Jan. 5, 2014) Photograph: Peter Morrison.

[compulsive]

[reading-books-in-the-moonlight]

[thewitchyvamp]

autumn 🧡

[foxeia]

Elin Lannsjö

[aguynameddean]

Dublin Trip

[aguynameddean]

Carlingford Marina 🍱

[aguynameddean]

I made this video, basically stating that it’s ok for men to cry. I did a previous one years ago after seeing an ad campaign about how It’s ok that men cry and how the effects of growing up with such phrases as “𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗽, 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗰𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝘆, 𝗰𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸, 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗮 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿, 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝘂𝗽” can make males afraid to show their emotions or talk about how they’re feeling. It also made me think of Rob Mcelhenney ‘s (It’s always sunny) heart breaking coming out scene in an Always Sunny episode, which is beyond words on how incredible it is.

But this wee video (𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗲) Is basically to support all kinds of mental health/emotions, (𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳, 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆/𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿, 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗺, 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗲𝘁𝗰) with just a bunch of my great and well acted crying scenes from movies and incredible actors. Basically, it’s ok to cry, feel overwhlemed at times, feel lost and in a bad place. I once spent many years a long time ago in a bad place. I live a very happy positive life but even still have bad days. This year unfortunately has mostly been fuelled with a strong number of sad days, times I got so upset I found it quite hard to get back out off, but like the message goes, it’s really ok to cry, and it’s extremely normal for a man to cry. It’s not weak or any of the sort. Sometimes it’s even healthy to cry, and let out stuff that has been built up.

Like Dwayne Johnston once said about dealing with hard times, “𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁”, but you most certainly aren’t alone. And with that, there is alot that knows what you’re going through. And if there isn’t, don’t be afraid to let them know, and even offer you support. But yeah! I wanted to make a mental health awareness video, I got alot out of making it, and I thought I’d share it too.

That’s about it. For anyone that found this, for anyone that actually watched it, all of it or even a few seconds! I hope it helped in some way or another. You’re excellent 🫵🏻🤟🏻

Music: Maureen Murphy

[aguynameddean]

Hosting first Sunday dinner 🥘

[aguynameddean]

Galgorm: Luxury Resort 2021

[lunadarkbloom]

Credit: @ backed_by_bad on Instagram 💙

[aguynameddean]

Farnham Estate Spa & Golf Resort