Blackstairs Appreciation Post (cause yes, it’s what they deserve)
You know, more and more I think about Blackstairs more I love them and their relationship ????
Like, there are SO MANY things I started to realize they have as a couple that I appreciate and that are treated with such naturalism (as it should) but that are actually not that common to see in YA (and sometimes, not even in other genres) ???
First: there is no power unbalance between them since the get go. Both of them are complete equals from start to finish. Even if you pick the main previous couples from The Shadowhunter Chronicles, you will find power unbalance (Clary was basically a mundane before finding out she was a shadowhunter and even after that, she had to train a lot (ofc) to become a decent capable warrior; and Tessa was another one that was there, lost, not knowing who she was or what she was, not knowing what to do, stuck between two very capable warriors (even if one of them was sick)). And I see now how this is kind of rare to get between hetero couples in YA fantasy ???? So yeah, this.
Second: the intimacy and easy going dynamic of two people that are, first of all, best friends that know each other so well and like anyone else and therefore are even family before being lovers, and in which all that is more important than any drama they might be facing as a couple and. I. JUST. LOVE. THATTTTTT!!!!! (and it is other thing that is rare to see, cause majority of couples are not best childhood friends to lovers and the ones that are don’t work like that for some reason ???? which makes it kind of pointless them being best childhood friends ??? and in YA, especially, authors can never make it right, ugh!)
Third: the amount of things that are naturalized within their dynamics and how maturely their issues, as a couple and as people, are addressed and solved within the narrative. The way “little” sexisms are out of perimeter between them (and within Julian*) and the way this is treated naturally and not as a thing to make Julian seems like a “feminist icon”, making it flattery for him, cause after all, being decent and treat women as your equal and as human beings should be just standard behavior (note that this is just brought up in the narrative when we have contact with characters that aren’t within our inner circle of protagonists; those are the moments when it is brought up to our attention that the way Julian is and acts, seeing from outsiders bigotry’s eyes, it’s a motive to be the heart of the joke; because unfortunately, sexism is still very real outside of that circle and shouldn’t be neglected to be exposed by the narrative, as it isn’t).
I’m going to pin point some of the other things that are treated so naturally that lots of readers might barely notice, but that it might have been big issues for other guys to digest and/or accept if they were in Julian’s place.
Starting with: Emma being a stronger, better fighter than Julian. Julian knows this pretty well and he never feels threatened or belittle by it, he is actually proud and knows his strength lies on strategy and he is completely fine with it. Fragile masculinity would have find this outrageous and unacceptable, once physical strength is what matters, is exactly what “Strength” “means” (for fragile masculinity), and a girl being better than a guy in this aspect should be a shame for that guy. But well, Julian’s masculinity is not fragile and he is completely fine with that.
Other example: Emma being the sexual experienced one. For other guys this would have been another reason for shame, but not for Julian. There is no shame on him (and he would have never want to sleep with anyone else, anyway), just insecurity for maybe not being able to please her for his inexperience, but not because he is afraid that other guys might be better than him, cause first: this is not a competition, and second: it is not about him, it’s about HER, and he just wants to make her happy and make her feel good, really (ANDOMGICANNOTTELLYOUHOWMUCHILOVETHISIWANNACRY).
And another example: Julian’s lack of “inferiority complex” (I mean, with all that I’ve pointed out right now, I think lots of guys would have had solid reasons to feel intimidated by Emma and her power and would have feel they wouldn’t be enough for her or not worthy (and lots might really not be lol)) and self-pity behavior. Even when Julian fucks up, he never acts whinny or distant, which, lots of times, are just another way to make things about YOU when they are NOT about you, not at all (or shouldn’t be, at least); the mindset and behavior of “omg I’m so horrible and evil and I don’t deserve love, STAY AWAY FROM ME!”, lots of times, it’s just a different way to be self centered, and well, Julian is anything BUT self centered. Apologizing and redeeming yourself when you’ve wronged people is (or should be) about the people you’ve hurt and not about you, and Julian is completely conscious of that and does not falter when he needs to make up for his mistakes. And because of the fact that he knows he and Emma are complete equals, he also knows and believes he is as well deserved of her love as she is of his love (AND I THINK THAT’S BEAUTIFUL!)
And not to mention the way consent is treated, the way their co-dependency is addressed and treated (they do have issues, yes, cause being a good couple/pair doesn’t exactly mean having no problems to solve in and/or outside the relationship), and the fact that they are very complex, flawed and complicated characters by themselves is great, and it helps to not make things seem forced or stereotyped.
Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that I love and appreciate so much their dynamics and I think we need MORE of that. We need more so we can really naturalize these kind of things I pointed out. Cause unfortunately, Blackstairs are kind of an exception here and not the rule; male white straight** protagonists/love interests like Julian are ,,,,,,, NON EXISTENT (EXCEPT FOR HIM NOW) LIKE WTF !!?!?!?!?! (I mean, MAYBE they exist and it is just me that is not aware of it; so please, if you know a male white straight** main character that is a little bit like Julian in the things I’ve pointed out, please PleAsE, let me know, and thank you) and quoting @cassandraclare here: “Part of what makes Emma and Julian (to me) a great pair is that they are both flawed, but both perfectly-equipped to help each other in their worst times.”
* Julian does present some very unhealthy coping mechanisms that are inside of the “toxic masculinity spectrum”, we might say (which is suppressing and hiding his emotions and vulnerability, that he sees as “weaknesses” that have to be hidden), in which the narrative does not shy away from addressing and correcting pretty decently (and even brutally, to say the least); and this is one of the things that makes this character such a powerful statement against fragile and toxic masculinity; he is NOT prevented to be poisoned by these toxic behaviors and mindsets, even if he is miles ahead of majority of guys, but he does learn his lesson because the narrative makes him learn it and I absolutely LOVE that, it is SO powerful, it is SUCH a powerful way to deliver the message, uGH! I go nuts!
** Julian is demisexual, actually. He might fall in the heterosexual spectrum though, I don’t know know ???? (the ACE spectrum is still kind of confusing to me, I’m so sorry, and people are free to correct me if I’m being ignorant, I mean, PLEASE, correct me if I said something harmful or offensive here, don’t be afraid to call me out) and that’s one of the reasons why I used the term “straight” there, but keep in mind that Julian is, more specifically, demisexual; please and thank you.
